For a variety of reasons, this has been a difficult post for me to write. I keep thinking the words will come easily and that I’ll be super eager to share, but in reality, they don’t. And I’m not. But I will – because I think it’s important, especially as a blogger, that we maintain some factor of ‘realness.’
My friends, even for a farm-lovin’ Mama with a fantastic husband and a quiver of children, life ain’t always gravy.
This winter has been hard for me.
About a month ago, I found myself in a place that I’ve never really experienced before – in a place of depression. It never got that bad – I was fine getting out of bed in the morning and was able to keep on throughout the day pretty normally. But my chest felt heavy, my days felt uninspired, and to say my temper was short would be a gross understatement.
When my van door refused to close for the millionth time, I found myself kicking it like a crazy person – shouting at it and cursing it’s existence.
Where did this woman come from? Who was she? And why was she sucking so much joy from my life?
After a horrible five days of dreary skies and bad attitudes, it finally dawned on me that I was possible dealing with postpartum depression. Just the thought of it made these a thousand times worse. I hated the idea of it. Every bit of it. But as I sat in a local coffee shop crying to my friend Angela on the phone while she prayed for me, I accepted this was reality. I was dealing with depression.
Naturally, as a believer, my first stop was at the foot of the cross. I prayed for guidance, for patience, for complete healing. The thought of enduring my life with this weight seemed unbearable and my prayer was that it would pass. Like an uninvited guest, I wished it would leave. Like, now.
But it didn’t. And so at the encouragement of a friend, I made an appointment with my naturopath. As I waited for our appointment day to roll around, I found myself getting eager and anxious. I couldn’t fall asleep. I couldn’t shut off my mind. I couldn’t control my moods. Mama was a hot mess.
But then.
After much research, guidance, advice, and testing, I’ve landed once again at a place of peace. I feel grounded for the first time in months. And joyful. And refocused. I feel more in control of my emotions.
I feel gooooood. Not great yet. But so much better.
In case any of you are dealing with the same issues, I wanted to share with you my favorite natural aids for postpartum depression that have been working so well.
Natural Aids For Postpartum Depression
Prayer:
Every day is a gift from God and spending time in prayer, being thankful for that gift, has been essential for my healing. Making a conscience effort to focus on the blessings instead of praying for all my ‘needs’ has been crucial. I need the Lord’s mercies desperately. I need his forgiveness desperately. If I had to carry the weight of my sins, of my shortcomings, I simply couldn’t bear the burden. Refocusing on my relationship with the Lord and on his death, resurrection, and salvation is of the utmost importance.
Diet:
It’s no secret that we make every effort to eat the very best food that we can. Our diet is rich in fats, traditionally prepared grains, fruits, vegetables, raw milk, and meat. We eat almost nothing prepackaged and most everything comes from our farm. That being said, as a busy Mom, I realized I wasn’t doing a very good job at making sure that I was getting enough to eat. Because I’m up-and-down-up-and-down seven times each meal, it’s easy to bypass putting an extra pad of butter on my vegetables or finishing off that pot-pie. Mama needed more nourishment – I’m raising three littles and breastfeeding like a madwoman. My body has supported three pregnancies in less than four years. Since recognizing my depression, I’m made a significant effort to ensure that I’m eating only good food – and lots of it.
I have completely eliminated ANYTHING pre-packaged. Instead, I'm supplementing in more raw milk, meat, raw and organic cheese, vegetables, fruit, fermented goodies like sauerkraut, yogurt, and kefir. I'm eating more peanut butter. More soaked almonds. More smoothies. More of everything!
Supplements:
I did that stupid thing that people do. I took my supplements – I felt great – so I stopped taking my supplements. Bad, Mama. Back onto the ‘ol supplements we go. While I typically don’t like ‘prepackaged’ things like supplements, with the state of our soils and the toxic environments we live in, I’m happy to supplement my body with the extra goodness it may need to function at it’s peek. Especially since I didn't eat a traditional diet for the first 25 years of my life.
For me, this means: Vitamin D, Evening Primrose Oil, Sel-Salts, Liv-Gen, and Fermented Cod Liver Oil/Butter Blend. On top of this, I also supplement with 2 tablespoons of ground chia seeds (from the full moon to the new moon) and then 2 tablespoons of ground sesame or sunflower seeds (from the new moon to the next full moon) each day (this helps to mimic the hormones my body should be making at that time to help balance the hormones).
Castor Oil Packs:
These also deserve a post to themselves (which I will provide in the near future) but just know that they’re essential to healing, especially when you’ve been eating foods that your body doesn’t tolerate well and is in a state of inflammation. Per the instructions of my naturopath, each day for 30 minutes I place a rag that’s moistened with castor oil onto my abdomen and then cover it with a warm rice pack. I use this time to relax, read, pray, breath, or reflect.
Breathing:
Have you ever noticed how shallow of breaths you take? I hadn’t. Until I started doing breathing exercises. Now, I purposefully take 100 deep breaths per day – in through my nose, held for a few seconds in my lungs, and then gently exhaled through my mouth. The first time I did this, my entire body got tingly from the oxygen overload! Guess I hadn’t been doing so well at purposefully giving my body the oxygen that it needed. Whoops.
Water:
I’ll just pretend like I’ve always drank 8 big glasses of water per day, okay? Because to say that I hadn’t would be silly. After all, everyone knows how essential filtered water is to our health. Right? RIGHT?
Point taken. I’m now drinking much, much, much more water. Fifteen minutes before each meal, I drink a full glass of filtered water with a teaspoon of raw apple cider vinegar in it too to aid in digestion.
Grounding:
My naturopath asked what grounded me. The answer was easy. Gardening. As silly as it sounds, through the winter when gardening is at a stand still, it’s hard for me mentally. In the summer, when I need my ‘Mama needs to take a break before someone gets hurt’ time, I head out to the garden, pull some weeds, harvest the beans, and get on with my day. In the winter, I simply don’t have that release.
As silly as it sounds, my doctor recommended that I make a small herb garden indoors with soil from my garden. Just enough for me to stick my fingers in and smell.
I did it. And then I proceeded to die of happiness. Another point taken – Mama needs dirt under her nails at all times. I’ve gotta feed that piece of my soul that feeds me!
Dry brushing:
Once per day, using short, gentle strokes, I dry brush my entire body – working the strokes up my arms and legs towards my heart with a dry skin brush. My friend Sylvie wrote a great post on the science behind dry brushing here.
As silly as it sounds, giving myself this small amount of focused attention per day has been a huge mental boost for me. It takes me 2-3 minutes and yet gives me something to look forward to all day!
Cold showers:
Eek! I know. It’s hard. But after washing in a hot shower, I turn the faucet to medium-cold and let it run over my front and back for 45 seconds or so. It’s cold. It makes you get goosebumps. But in a crazy way it feels so incredibly satisfying. The cool water leaves me feeling refreshed and focused. It helps with inflammation in the body and promotes good circulation.
Exercise:
I HATE EXERCISE. But I’m going to do it. I'm also going to try and buy kratom for anxiety relief and energy. I contemplated a lot of different ways to go about this – after all, my days on the farm are full of a lot of physical activity. While I originally thought about yoga as a way to calm my mind and focus my energy, I soon realized that I needed something to help me get some of that aggression and frustration out! That way, my van door will live to see another day. So I ordered some TurboFire DVDs. As as my friend Angela says (please excuse my French), “Just do what the bitch says and you’ll get out your frustration.”
Point taken. I’m doing it. It’s HARD. But I’m doing it.
Decluttering:
I’m taking many notes from my friend Rachel on this and purposefully working to declutter our home and our lives. This means less commitments out of the house and fewer things inside the house. Extras have to go. Period. I even ordered a bigger garbage can and a recycling bin to help easily rid our home of all that we don’t need. Less to clean, organize, fix, mend, and pick up makes for a more restful mind.
Slowly but surely, I’m working my way through all of my closets, drawers, shelves, and hidden nooks to rid our home of all excess. ALL EXCESS.
A clean, organized home brings me peace of mind. And that peace of mind is important in helping my postpartum depression tendency.
____________________________________
There’s a lot to consider when learning to manage something like postpartum depression. Especially when you're look at natural aids for postpartum depression. And while there may not be a one-sized-fits-all remedy to cure it, I’ve found these treatments to be extremely effective in helping me deal with mine.
Praying to our loving, sovereign Lord they can bring you some relief as well.
And Amen.
Angela/Parisienne Farmgirl
Excellent. Oh the darn dry brushing – that’s my supplements. I start, I stop… I start I stop…
You’ll touch so many with this post.
And way to make me sound like some sort of prayer warrior cussing sailor.
🙂
Rita
Dearest Shaye,
Your story brought me back to my own experience with postpartum depression. My son was born in December when I was 21 years old. My first thought was about the responsibility of my new baby. He was so dependent on me and so I had to be up to taking good care of him. The burden was so heavy. Every day I had to fight to do what had to be done but he was my reason to live and this is where I found thew strength. I was not a Christian at that time.
Years later; my husband and I decided to taking in our home 2 foster babies. A baby girl and a baby boy. I found out that it does not matter if the babies came from me or not. I was overwhelmed again with the responsibility for the two little babies. I could see how terrible the world we where living in was and I knew I could not protect them from everything bad. By then I had Jesus, He was my refuge and He gave me the strength to overcome the thoughts haunting me. I did not know about natural remedies but we had a garden and I made our bread and I canned everything I could. We tried to eat and live as close to natural as we could. The babies are now 23 years old and I am a grand-mother. I thank God for His grace and patience with me. He does not fail us. He always listen to our prayers and He perfects that which concerns us. What a great God we serve!
Abby Jo @ Forhotten Way Farms
Great post! My baby is seven months, and while I don’t think I have depression, I have what you call no sleep! So I do sometimes feel i am losing my mind
Brooke
If you should find the Turbo DVD’s too hard for a Mama of 3, Fit2B is targeted toward moms and you can do it online. I like it during the winter when I am cooped up. She has lighter workouts and harder ones. You can choose depending on your day.
I use cod liver oil to help me stay sane in the winter. I get pretty bad if I don’t. I also enjoy a mix of lemon, orange, lemon oils to help clear my head.
Holly
Thank you, THANK YOU for having the courage to share. You are a lovely person, Shaye, and you are much loved. 🙂 [[hugs]]
Kelly
The supplement “Theanine Serene with Relora” by Source Naturals contains L-theanine, Gaba, taurine, and Relora (a holy basil extract). It works like a charm for my daughter and me. You can find it at Amazon. Might be worth a try.
Angi
Thank you so much for having the courage to share, Shaye. While I haven’t personally experienced PPD, I have seen some of my best friends go through it, and it is such a hard burden for a new mama to add to her load. These are excellent remedies, and I personally use several of them to help me get through the “winter blues” each year.
Kristi P.
Thank you for your bravery in sharing this post. By talking about depression, including postpartum depression, we help break down the walls of isolation and shame built around this disease. You are certainly not alone in this experience, your faith in God will sustain you through this difficult time while you seek out ways to heal yourself.
Could you talk a little more about balancing your hormones with the chia seed/sunflower seed supplementation? I have never heard or read anything about this method. Many thanks!
Shaye Elliott
Kristi, I will talk more about this in a separate post!
Lauren
Shaye, Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I’m so glad you were able to find some things that are helping you heal. I experienced post-partum depression after the births of both of my children, which extended into good ol’ clinical depression after my youngest was two, (partially due to my son’s diagnosis of autism). I did end up going to the doctor to get anti-depressants, but in my situation it was necessary, as I was borderline suicidal. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to make it through the withdrawal period to get off of the meds, but I am grateful for all the tips you’ve given and I will certainly refer to them should I find myself going through a rough patch again. I’m about ready to start my seeds for spring and I have no doubt that will give me a boost! Thank you, and may God bless you for your insights and help.
Sarah
Shaye!
This is my favorite post youv’e written so far! I love hearing about healthy habits that make us better fit to serve our families and the Lord! Do you still take fermented cod liver oil? Our family has had much better immunity when we faithfully take it every day, though it is a financial investment! I think I have read it’s supposed to help with depression, too!
Take care of yourself!
Lots of love,
Sarah
P.S. Jumping on a rebounder is another healthful indoor winter activity, and children love jumping, too!
We got one last year and whenever my niece and nephew come over, the first thing they want us to do is set it up so they can jump:)
Jennifer A
After pregnancy, I’m great, wonderful even, but it’s during pregnancy for me that I go crazy. Like kicking the car door crazy. I hate it, and really don’t want to get pregnant again because I don’t want to live through that or put my family through it again. I’m not sure how to deal with it though. I’ll look into these if I do wind up pregnant again.
Sarah
Jennifer, I hear ya. During my first two pregnancies I was a crazy you-know-what. I feared and hated my mood swings, and the swings usually never swung to the euphoric end of the spectrum. I’m now 7 months along expecting our third, and my hormones have been incredibly balanced, all things considered. I still get weepy from time to time, but the crazies have been virtually non-existent. All that to say is, I think every pregnancy is different. Don’t let the fear of how you think your moods will be stop you from going for more kids. It’s hard and scary to put yourself in a position you feel like you have no control over; I remember feeling terrified about going through all that emotional upheaval before I got preggy again, but the good news is, we’re only given one day at a time to deal with, and reminding myself that “this, too, shall pass” has been helpful to my mindset. And of course, God’s grace.
Quinn
As rough as it is, I’m glad you figured it out quickly. I buried my head in the sand till it started to get scary. Once I admitted it to myself and started to look for help I was able to work beyond it quickly using a lot of the tips you mentioned. One other thing that I did try was adding in amino acids, first singly which didn’t make a difference and then this formula which made an almost instant difference. http://genesaliving.com/products/total-amino-solution/ I didn’t mess around after Phoebe was born and had them in the cupboard ready to go this time!
Praying for you my friend!
bobbi dougherty
Such a wonderful post and not only for postpartum mommas. I can use several of these suggestions.
Rachel C
I’m so sorry you had/have some depression. After my first was born I spent three months sitting on the couch with no motivation to do anything and too overwhelmed to try thinking that what I was feeling was normal, or that I was just tired. After a bit I realized that I was depressed, it is much more that merely being sad. Long story short, after much research I had my placenta encapsulated after my second child’s birth and took it daily. I have never felt better or more balanced than those first months after that birth, I didn’t even cry when baby was up in the night AGAIN or on the worst days of adjustment. I know it’s too late to help this time around but I would seriously encourage you to look into it if you have more children. Will be praying for you, to have patience, mental stamina and peace above all!
Cori
This post is such a blessing! I’m a mother to one and expecting number two in April! I think I went through PPD with my first but never really talked to anyone about it and it cleared up on it’s own. It’s helpful to hear your responses to depression and helps me feel more prepared to handle it if it happens this time around! I remember some days being very hard. This winter I started feeling down also but as soon as I started taking FCLO everyday, I’ve felt so much better. I think the Vitamin D really helps. But you are so right about prayer and the Lord being the number one focus in hard times! Praying for you!
Laurie
I’m about 28 years past having given birth so I know I don’t have PPD, however, I do think I (and maybe others) may suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which usually occurs mostly in winter. Being a southern girl, I love warm, bright, sunny days and I miss my garden right now! It’s a sad grayish-brown mess and I need to see something green and growing! From what I’ve read, sunlight or light is supposed to help with this. I also decorate with a lot of green and warm tones in my home to compensate when it is not warm and green outside. Sounds like you are on the road to better days by having taken control of it and writing about it. “To everything ther is a season…” Hang in there!
Amanda
First I’d like to say ” thank you” for sharing! The first step to helping ourselves is to share. As I just joined your blog I have found it to be inspiring! I myself love The Lord my God with all my heart! He is what holds all the pieces together in my life! He word is never void. And peace always comes from finding it!
I am a Mama of 7 amazing children. And this last year I have found myself in your shoes….. I love being a Mama and all the beautiful blessings that come from it. However I’ve learning it’s ok to have time for me too! Time to spend not serving all the time. God tells us so many times to rest… Yet for some reason we as Mamas don’t think that includes us. Lol. Please know I will be praying for you. May the peace that passes all understanding be with you. And again thank you for your blog. It’s so refreshing to see a woman of true faith living off the land God has giving to us. Blessings
Vera
Thanks for your honesty, your posts are beautifully written and so informative too. 5 htp, just 50 mg to start, can be a great mood booster.
Emily
Thanks for being real girl friend!! I admire your courage to share….. Praying that the Lord has brought you closer to Himself during this time!!
Im very curious about the chia seed vs seasme/sunflower seed thing… wha??
Anyway, blessings to you and your family!!
Rachel M
Thank you for writing this post. Like Jennifer I get depressed when I am pregnant instead of after. The tips you have echo what I have found to be helpful, but it is still hard some days! The only thing I would add is sleep. Getting enough rest has been extremely important for me and my husband when we are depressed. Now I just need to hang on for about 3 more months when this baby is born!
Sarah
Shaye, I really appreciate this post. I think there is a lot of wisdom and common sense here that few really consider when facing depression. I am 34 and have battled depression on and off over the past 14 years, with three of those times going on an rx med to get me “out of the pit” and on my feet. The medicine was a blessing for me, though there is definitely a stigma out there, among Christians especially, for going that route. I would add to your list “support and hugs from spouse and family”. There is nothing like having the added guilt that comes from family who tell you, “you brought this on yourself somehow”, and nothing like having the comfort that comes from family who quietly and steadily stand by you and encourage you despite not completely understanding what you’re going through. Also, saying “no” and simplifying your schedule, which I think falls under your “decluttering” category. Nothing like depleting those wonderful brain chemicals/inner reserves to burn yourself out!
As for the breathing exercises, I learned that you can often bypass a meltdown by relaxing the muscles surrounding your stomach. When they tense, it cues the production of stress hormones. Try having a sob fest without tensing those muscles–it’s hard to do!
Audra
I’m tired just reading your posts. That sounds like too much to remember for me. But good for you, it keeps your mind busy.
Queenfernie
Thank You for posting this. I hope more people are able to read this as this would have helped me years ago after my second child and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. It was awful and lasted a whole year, I almost lost it. Lucky I got over it and have 2 wonderful children to show for it.
Jodie
Wonderful to hear other believers out there! God bless!!
Jennifer
Thank you so much for this!! May God richly bless you and your family. He is our light in this darkness.
Debbie
I’m working on the decluttering piece of things. Just getting one area clear and organized helps.
I also visited my counselor, who asked me, “If today is a complete failure, so what? Will it change your value in Christ one bit?” I’ve read Romans 7 and 8 over and over, beginning to understand that this flesh will pass away, along with all the things I’ve done from the flesh. “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” This struggle is natural and expected.
My true self is alive and healthy with the Spirit, where I have everything I need to be “enough.” I am a new creation, and there is nothing more I have to do. I get to choose what I do, whether that is from the flesh that is passing away or from the Spirit who gives life. There is no more condemnation. We are free, free, free.
Praying for you this morning! I don’t take castor oil (yet), so I’m looking forward to reading your post on that.
Racheal
I hope you are fully recovered soon and that this information you’re sharing can help bring others to peace and restoration from depression.
I’ve never had PND, but something I tried after baby #6 to help with breastfeeding ended up being a total hormone and emotional stabiliser….placenta encapsulation. Sounds gross, but hey, you’ve made head cheese! So placentas surely no big deal 🙂 The placenta is blended, dehydrated, ground to powder and then encapsulated. Anywhere from 2-6 tablets are taken a day (I take two) and wow! Never have I felt so calm and stable after a baby! Even with 6 children, homeschooling, animals and all the other responsibilities that come with motherhood, I’ve been calm and peaceful almost all the time. And it has also dealt with my previous iron deficiency. So there you go, something we normally chuck out after birthing is actually a very useful tool for healing and coping after your bundle arrives 🙂
Laura W.
I too have struggled with postpartum depression. It was a very frustrating experience to say the least. I take beef liver capsules and fclo. Both of those have helped tremendously. I am unable to do the llv. My body does NOT like anything in it that isn’t food and responds way better to things like beef liver. I hope you can take this time to rest and recover, at one time I read that sometimes your body has no choice but to go into a depression type mode when we push ourselves too fast. Enjoy this quiet winter season and let yourself heal. You are a very busy lady and have earned your rest.
Lauren
This is such a great post! I had a lot of anxiety after my first son was born, which was compounded by a scary car accident. Everyone was fine, but it really made me stuck in a place of fear. I found going to therapy was very helpful in creating a plan to get back behind the wheel and feel once again like a confident woman and mother. With my second son, I mentally feel great, but keeping up the energy levels is quite a feat! I totally agree with your suggestions to keep up with vitamins and eat well and plenty. Great advice!
Liz
I struggled with postpartum depression to some extent after all three of my pregnancies, the last one was the worst. The hardest part for me is the constant feeling of being overwhelmed and struggling to keep my head above water. My youngest is turning three soon and I’m just now starting to feel like myself again. The winter is definitely the hardest, the thing that helps me most is finding a sunny window to sit near when I can. Hope you feel better soon!
Nicole
I just wanted to thank you for this post. I have had 3 kids in the last 4 years. Recently Ive been so tired and moody and not the person I want to be, but I just chalked it up to life with toddlers. However, after I read your post I was inspired to take back control and change. I went to a Naturopath and she placed my on some supplements, I started going back to the gym, and becoming more aware of what I was eating. ( The kids eat great, but I find myself feeding them not me). I know its not an overnight fix, but I am already feeling like my old self. Again, thank you so so much for giving me the push I needed, and lots of other great ideas to try. Please keep writing. I love your blog.
Shaye Elliott
Thank you, Nicole!
Shaye Elliott
Yes, I use mine every day!
Alisha
Thanks for sharing all of this! I think I could use some of these suggestions myself… I’m pregnant with our fourth and the oldest is four and a half! I know most of my mood problems could be solved by more sleep and more prayer/Bible reading but I am curious to try some of the other things too.
Keep up the great blog, it is all so inspiring! And I love your cookbook, its definitely my most used, several times a week at least!
Julie @ HappinessSavouredHot
Unfortunately I know all too well what you are talking about here. Exercise is one of the “cures” that works best for me. I also highly recommend letting go of as many responsibilities as you can – focus on what is the most important. Ask for help, learn to say no, be self-compassionate.
Carrie
I had issues also post partum. Mine came through as extreme anxiety and mood swings. Since nursing I wanted something safe. My Naturopath recommend a number of things. The best for me were homeopathic support with Andrenapath and Hypothalmapath from Energetix. I also started grounding using the products from the Earthing company. Changed my eating to whole foods but had to remove wheat/gluten and then dairy because my baby showed an allergy. Went to a chiropractor that also did acupuncture. This was my 4th child and first time I had an issue. Like all things,it has been a processing and one to learn from.
Sheila
Hello Shaye!
I just found your blog today, and I’ve read a bit. I just LOVE it. I am a grandma, 52 years old, with five children and 6 grandchlldren, and another grandbaby coming at the end of November. I write this to say that although I’m not a mama of young children as you are, I so relate to everything I’ve read from your blog so far. Especially! the Lord 🙂 As I learned the truth about food and food preparation I would work to implement it. My husband and I are in a work to lose weight and begin exercising. I’ve started walking on my old beat up treadmill, for only the second day today, for only 17 minutes. But I am just so determined to do this, and make the changes I need to as well. Reading of your challenges helped me where I am today, though I’m sorry for what you’ve traveled through. I want to thank you for this blog, and I want to send encouragement your way. May God mightily bless you, and yours. You are so enjoyable 😀 Sheila
Cris Daining
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. You made my day! 🙂
Leslie
I just stumbled onto this at a time that was much needed. I finally recognized perhaps I am dealing with PPD and it feels like a hard pill to swallow. I feel encouraged by reading this post. Thank you so much for sharing
HCT
Ummmm, thank you. I don’t feel so alone after reading this. I know I’m not the only one struggling with this but I do feel like the only one who isn’t popping pills for it. I have also never admitted to being depressed. I used to be so smug about depression – “it’s mind over matter”. Then, after four kids in five years, the last one only 6 weeks old, I find myself just as you described. Oddly enough, all the things you described as being helpful I have found helpful as well. I started a spring garden, make sure I eat enough, spend time in the Word, take supplements, and so on. But some days I can only accomplish one of those things fully or small fragments of each and it is so hard. I realize this was written a very long time ago, but I just want you to know it is still helping someone!
Amanda
Shay, What a blessing you are to girls of all ages. If you don’t know it, I’m telling you today. I am 74, and took your message to heart. To anyone who is reading this, know that it is never too late for healing, for growth – for change. Guess it’s time to include myself! I’ll let you know how it goes… Blessings more than you can imagine, Amanda