Let's talk about who my husband really is… Y'all, let me just tell you about my bearded husband. He's the other half of this homestead and though he sits beside me each day as I lovingly tend to the blog, he rarely makes a spotlight appearance on it's pages. But his love for this farm, and for his family, runs deep. And I simply can't exist for a moment long without bringing it to the forefront for a bit of love and appreciation.
First, let me tell you more about him. Though I'm sure these facts linger about in various posts over the years, let's just set a backdrop for who this bearded husband is.
Stuart was born and raised in the South. Though I can't remember what it was regarding now, when we were dating, I explicitly remember being called a “Yankee”. I laughed and told him that I'm from the West Coast and that meant nothing to me. Then I told him that I'm rubber and he's glue and everything he says bounces off of me and sticks to him.
But seriously, this fact is important in knowing Stuart. From the civil war conversations, to the way he plays his guitar, to his love for ambrosia and biscuits, as they say – the South runs deep in his veins. “Yes ma'am.” and “Yes sir.” are prevalent in our home. This is why.
Stuart is an amazing guitar player – like, seriously, amazing. I also played, back in the day, but after meeting Stuart and hearing him strum, I quickly handed him my guitar and begged him to keep making those sounds forever and ever. I decided to focus on doing something I was better at – like having babies and stuff. Most days, after supper, our home is filled with tunes as the children run around like monkeys. Stu has a musical mind and the way it's wired… the way it hears things… is beautiful. I've begged him to learn a Ray LaMontagne duet on the guitars, even though I haven't played in a decade and only know about four chords. But when you hear him play, you want to make music with him. And babies. It's just that simple. Maybe I should grab a tamborine.
Reality Check: Sometimes I want to take the guitar and slam it up against the wall. Anyone who is married to a musically minded individual knows the frustration that they feel when looking right into said musician's eyes, making a statement or asking a question, and getting the “empty stare” back. They see you. They hear you. But they don't SEE or HEAR you. And sometimes it drives me insane. Just keepin' it real.
Stuart is also a reader. Like, a serious reader. While I flip through pages of Food & Wine and Harry Potter, Stuart thumbs through Plato and Calvin's Institutes. I never learned to love literature, or reading, like he did, preferring rather to get my hands dirty. But the man isn't happy unless he can curl up at the end of the day with a dense book. Aka: brain food. I don't understand it. I just know it's the way that it is.
Reality Check: Sometimes I want to take the books and slam them up against the wall. Anyone who is married to a literature minded individual knows the frustration they feel when looking into the reader's eyes and getting the “empty stare” back. They see you. They hear you. But their mind is lost in a much denser place. Just sayin'.
While I may be the dream machine of this farm, continuing to push us forward with my vision and (ahem) animal purchases, Stuart is without a doubt the structure that holds it all together. He lifts heavy things, digs fence posts, attaches trailers, stacks hay, does the killing, and is the first to run out at night with a gun when he hears squealing pigs. He's also a way better hand milker than I am – Sally always preferred his technique to mine and thus, gave him more milk and cream. He's brave. He's hardworking. And he slaves over a vision that's in my head for our farm – a vision that undoubtedly is difficult for him to see at times through the chores and muck. But he believes in the beauty of my dream. And that encouragement, that support, means more to me than any amount of hay stacking.
He's a sucker for nostalgia – loving to create feelings. For this reason, we're big on entertaining. We'll bust out the bubbly and some fancy appetizers and invite friends or family to come and mingle while ‘French Cafe' plays in the background. We'll mix up speciality cocktails and feature particular local ingredients in our recipes. Stuart loves to welcome people into the house and treat them as proper royalty – always serving himself last and giving them the very best of what he has to offer – even if it it's the last of his favorite Scotch. He pours generously. He'll always say “It's meant to be shared.” He takes ordinary moments and seeks to make them special. I love that about him.
Stuart is also an artist. He draws and paints a variety of images that hang around my house and in tattered color pads. He releases into them and he enjoys bringing mental images to life. One of my favorites is the black and white pencil drawing he did of J.R.R. Tolkien. It accentuates his tweed jacket and wrinkles and hangs in our living room. His black and whites always seem to be my favorite.
Because one can never spent too much time with their spouse (ahem), I'm also slowly pulling this man I love into the dark side of blogging. As the blog continues to grow, as to my ambitions and ideas for it. Though my lips are sealed on many accounts, we have much on the horizon for the year ahead and there is no one I'd rather share the journey with than Mr. Elliott. It's time to put him to work around these digital parts.
Ya'll already know the new cookbook is set to arrive early Spring 2016 [UPDATE: Click here to learn more about our Family Table Cookbook]! Stuart is helping me with every aspect of the book before we ship it off to the printer in December. He's objective and honest. That's helpful!
We're welcoming our new heifer Cecelia onto the farm in early Spring 2016 as well! We'll be driving to Montana to pick her up from a friend before bringing her back and getting to know her well. I'm thinking Stu needs to be become AI certified…
We'll also be welcoming a new baby [UPDATE: read about our new baby here] onto the farm – lest we forget that there are human babies too around these parts. Boy? Girl? Name? We'll figure it all out in April… But there's no one else that I'd want by my side than Stu when I'm bed ridden and fat and uncomfortable.
What was this post going to be about again? Now I'm all distracted thinking about being gigantically pregnant again.
Which is Stu's fault, by the way.
Still love the man. Especially when he makes me lattes.
And Amen.
Martha
I always enjoy reading your stories. It’s like I’m reading a short story. I love the way you see life. You truly are a talented writer!
Beth Dobbins
I love this, Shaye! Especially the part about the guitar. I remember when he and Alex visited us in Germany, he took my old, very dusty and unplayed guitar, replaced the strings and kept it with him that whole trip. You are totally spot on about that seeing but not seeing thing. Loved, loved, loved having those two around! ๐
Ellen H
Love this Shaye!! Way to honor your man – you got a good one ๐
Allison
There is just something about southern men……….love mine too. Our family’s needs, safety, and happiness are his first priority. He’s the “muscle” around our farm too and has been so supportive of this crazy homesteading path I’ve taken us down. Hospitality is important to us and he is an awesome cook. He loves to read and in his younger years dabbled in art and music. He has a beard. Yep, there is just something about southern men!
Pam Azevedo
Hey Stuart and Shaye! Loved this article, made me sad not to see Stuart this year as I’m no longer at TRA. You forgot to mention what an excellent teacher he is is also!! You both are sooooo…talented/gifted of the Lord . Congrats on baby #4 and acquiring a new heifer next spring!! Don and I’ll have to come visit y’all at the farm. God Bless you and your sweet kids!
Debs Sutton
Such a beautiful blog Shaye. Here I am,sitting in my house in Buckinghamshire,UK and your life is soooo totally different to mine but I LOVE reading your blog.
I too have an incredible husband (35 yrs.married) ,we’re unbelievably different but hey it works!!!
Much love from “across the pond” xxx
julie
That’s so precious! Bless you’re good man.
Ellis Spear
But what about his pipe ? The aroma and the relaxation has to be a part of him ๐ Does he enjoy it when he reads ? or after you work him so hard ? ๐
E. Spear
Deb B.
What a sweet way to love & honor your man…I’m sure he feels the love you have for him & the deep appreciation for all the hard work he does around the farm, but it’s still nice for him to see you telling the world how special he is to you!
That love will continue to grow stronger with each new baby & the work you share, as well as the random adventure…
I have a husband that’s such a neat guy, the love he has for me & our kids shows in the littlest things, and I thank God for him everyday… and mine plays the Mountain Dulcimer most evenings -I love it, along with the random songs he sings to me!
Thank you…for the recipes you post-love them all! And for the little glimpses into your busy life…
Shauna
What a lovely piece on your husband and thanks for the chuckle when you are “keeping it real”.
Stephanie
This was a lovely read, Shaye.
Kathy
What a beautiful tribute to your man. I have a wonderful strong man, 20 yrs married now. I love your blog, thank you for all you do and all you share. You are a wonderful writer and I’m excited for your book to be released. We’re not too far from you in Washington, in the Tri-Cities. We just had a mini vacation to Leavenworth yesterday. Rainy, but wonderful.
LRM
Ok…maybe they’re all just like that? Mine is an IT/computer geek – I get this dazed look all the time. For about 7 years of our marriage I wanted to smash his laptop. Oops… Did I just admit that?
bECKY
YOU LUCKY LUCKY GIRL!!!
Lady Lee
So great to get to know him better. You guys are so creative and talented!
cassandra
He sounds so full of great character and talent, what a gift to your sweet family. I can’t wait to see what the two of you create up ahead. Always an inspiration, and your words and photographs! My goodness, they’re beautiful:-)
Ginny
Great post, loved it really- but I’ve got a logistical question about what kind of espresso machine you’ve got in your kitchen because I am JEALOUS.
Edward Allan
This short story inspired me a lot and how you love your husband. I remember of my grandfather taught me to look for a mate who loves God and always challenge me as a person. On the bad side,I wish my Dad was like your husband, if he was, our family could have been together until now.
Angie Ross
Beautiful!