Yesterday, I was curled up on my bed in fetal position. My bones ached and my skin was magically pulsing with heat and covered in chills at the same time. My eyes were watering and desired nothing more than to stay closed no matter the cost. My body was fatigued and weary.
I went to bed a normal person on Friday night and woke up in this horrendously tender state the following morning. I tried to go about my normal chores… a coat of mascara, breakfast for the littles, straightening the beds… and by this point, Juliette awoke – ready to eat. So I latched her on…
Good Lord almighty. All of a sudden, my flu-like-symptoms made sense.
This ain't my first rodeo. I've been around this nursing block no less than four times at this point and I should've known as soon as I woke up feeling so awful. The dreaded “m” word. Mastitis.
To every Mama, or dairy cow, who's ever experienced this – my heart is with you! It's awful. So, so awful.
Georgia asked me if my “teat” hurt – while I winced through the pain of nursing. Ha! Even if my misery, I had to chuckle. Especially when she went to church and told Ms. Natali that I had “lastitis”. Ahh yes… the dreaded lastitis.
When it hit, it hit like a freight train, and I spent the next 12 hours balled up on my new mattress (which, by the way, is worth it's weight in gold…. use the code HOMESTEAD if you want a discount!) thinking. I was thinking about the farm. Thinking about my kids. Thinking about babies. Thinking about spring.
Spring, y'all. Can you even? Is there a better thing in the entire world than the first green leaves poking through the barren landscape in the spring? We've been under a foot of snow since Thanksgiving – and frankly – I'm getting a bit tired of it.
When Mama starts to lose her mind and needs to “reset” – she goes to the garden.
When I'm overwhelmed, tired of the mess, or challenged by life – I go wander the grounds and put together a little bouquet of clippings.
The farm resets my soul. I pray. I observe. I harvest. I plant. It's, quite frankly, the very best place in the world.
But since there has been so much snow, I haven't even see my pea gravel in months. Garden paths are a distant memory and Lord only knows what's buried underneath the white blanket. It's starting to wear me down! Even Stu, the happy-go-lucky-optimist, is being worn down by the frozen tundra of our currently existence.
So…
To curb my distaste for February, I bought myself a present. I bought myself a box of moss from a nearby forest. And that box of moss happened to arrive on the very day that I was curled up in bed, sick to my bones with the dreaded lastitis.
Stuart brought it in to me, already opened. He knew. He knew I needed it.
I sat up enough to stretch out my arm and sink my fingertips into the soft, green blanket of moss. I wiggled my fingers down… down… further into the moss before grabbing a small handful and lifting it to my nose. Do you know what I smelt? Earth. Earth that I haven't smelt since November. And then do you know what I did?
I wept.
The smell of dirt, of earth, literally brought me to tears.
Perhaps it came from the weariness I was experiencing that day. Or perhaps it was just emotion that needed to bubble out in some form. But regardless, I sat with that moss practically shoved up my nose for the remainder of the day. A few teeny tiny bugs were crawling out of the nooks of the moss and I let them because, at the very least, it was life!
After tending to myself with oils, rest, and lots of nursing, I woke up the following morning feeling much better than the day prior. I was moving a wee bit slower and still felt a bit funky, but considerably better. After a cup of coffee and a few bites of breakfast, I went around the house redressing all the house plants with the moss. It helps them to hold in water better. It helps to protect them from prying little fingers that like to bury things in their soil. It breaks down and feeds the plant. And, hello!, it looks beautiful.
I fell in love with dressing plants with moss in my floral design days. I remember my “master” teaching me, the “grasshopper”, that arrangements should look like you scooped them out of the earth with your cupped hands. I've always loved that image.
That silly box of moss was just what this ‘ol heart needed.
Life will come back in the spring. We still have three ewes to lamb in the coming month. Seeds will soon be started inside for the summer garden. Piglets are growing like weeds. And in a few short weeks, daffodils will begin to poke up from the soil.
Yes, Shaye, life is coming! Believe it! We can do this!
And Amen.
Peacock Orchard
You’re making me feel a bit guilty about how ungrateful I’ve been. We get snow and then it melts. I never go long without seeing the Earth, dead and brown as it is. The raging wind makes it unpleasant to go out. It draws worry of dehydrating trees and blown over buildings. Still, I can look out our large windows and see all the glory of our land, brown and blowing. ๐
Jake
Girl where do you live? You just described my landscape to a T. I live in SoCal where
The wind is a daily bother and brown is just the color of everything.
Peacock Orchard
Wyoming. Land of people either too stupid or stubborn to figure out they need to move.
Lands pretty darn cheap though.
Natalie
Oh man, “lastitis” is the worst! I never knew of such agony until my second baby at which point I had it twice and also had another little treasure called nipple thrush. It hurt to move and you know who doesn’t give much sympathy? A one year old and a one month old. I’m glad I soaked up all the sweet tiny baby joy, I am equally as glad to be on the other side! As for dreaming of spring, I’m reminded of the quote by Hal Borland , “no winter lasts forever, no spring skips its turn”. Feel better!
Alana Schoffstall
My deepest empathy. My youngest of four just had her fifth birthday…..But I can remember like yesterday. Mine was from way too much strain while trimming hooves a few weeks after delivery. What is with us and thinking we are invincible?!?
My midwife sent my husband to the grocery store for a head of cabbage (organic to be sure no pesticides are lurking in the leaves).
A few layers of cabbage leaves tucked into your bra….cabbage draws the infection out. The coolness helps ease the pain too, so every hour or so I’d pull fresh leaves out of the fridge. Such a simple thing.
Feel better!
Carolyn Kirby
My daughter had the dreaded mastitis and put green cabbage leaves in her bra, next day it was gone !!!!!
Laurie
Wish you could have some Georgia warm weather where I am…already daffodils are up and green sprouts on lots of things. It’s been unusually warm this winter.
Carmela
I’m with you Laurie. I’ve lived in the frozen tundra of New Hampshire, with its 6 long awful dark months of winter. I’ve visited the beautifulness of Montana, in the depth of winter. I am a Georgia girl, southern to the core, I need light, greenery, dirt, and only short winters. I don’t care how cheap the land is…I would never choose to live anywhere but the south again ๐ Bless ya’lls hearts everywhere it’s cold and dark.
David Foster
I’ll swap y’all.
We in the southern hemisphere are having our hottest summer ever.
42C (107 F) forecast for the weekend.
The paddocks are brown fro a different reason.
However the corn is loving it.
Love your blog. (long time lurker)
Julie
I may have to get a box of moss up here in Maine! Days of high temps in the teens and snow above my knees is starting to get old. How nice it would be to smell moss and earth ๐
Miranda
Don’t know if if makes you feel any better but here in my Northern Canadian home I still have a few more months of snow to endure before Spring makes an an entrance ๐ It is so hard to wait for Spring and the wonderful life it brings with it. But how amazing it will be when it comes!! Glad you are feeling better. Mastitis is so hard.
Hannah
Alaska checking in – we are still in the depths of winter here. I’m trying to grow a few little things indoors, herbs and such. I never considered moss though. What are you going to be using it for?? I’m intrigued!
Angela
I’ve never had it but you know, I feel ya.
Soon we’ll have our fingers in the dirt.
Kathryn
LOVE IT…….honestly …..my seeds arrived in the mail the other day and it was a balmy 50’s something……..I couldn’t take it. I planted some celery seeds and SUNK my hands into the potting soil and drew in the smell of that soil so deeply. I told the kids ” I AM IN LOVE WITH NATURE “……” IN LOVE” !!
Elizabeth
We just received 14 inches of snow and are expecting more this week end. I need my dirt! WAAAAA!
Ruth Wakeman
Refridgerated cabbage leaves applied to your skin over the affected areas are soothing and work miracles for the pain and swelling. Wash and gently bruise the leaf before applying. Change leaf when wilted or as needed. Reduce the size of leaf you use or stop use if your milk supply drops below desired amount. The leaves are contoured and can be worn in your bra while you go about your day.
Hannah
I know this is an old thread, but I have had mastitis more times than I can count between my 6 kids. I’m just curious what essential oils you use? With my first baby I treated it with antibiotics each time and it always came back. With my second baby I eventually discovered essential oils. Since using those I don’t get mastitis as often. I had it only once with number 4, once with number 5, but now 2 times (in 3 weeks) with number 6. I use oregano, tea tree, lavender, and peppermint oil mixed with coconut oil. I am so very thankful that I discovered oils.