It’s my birthday.

Today, I'm 29 years old. Twenty nine. Twizzledy to the nizzledy.  (...that was gangster talk for '29'). Yes, my dear friends, today is my date of birth. Twenty nine years ago today, my mother endured what can only be described as extreme pain to bring me into this world. Frankly, let's face it, birthdays shouldn't be about us. They should be about what our mothers endured … [Read more...]

It’s meant to be good.

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I'd like to say I was better at this, but frankly, it's a huge struggle for me. "This" begin okay with the mess of life, that is. Today, I begged a cleaning company to venture out to the farm to scrub only God knows what out of my showers and tubs. Then, I pleaded with them to scrub the smoothie off the window, the poop off the crib, and the stains out of the kitchen sink. I threw in … [Read more...]

Inviting my children to a revolution.

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If I could sum up why it is we do everything we do... ... the early morning milkings... .... the cleaning out of the chicken coop... ... the tending, caring, and slaving over the garden beds... ... the answer is actually quite clean and easy. It's the food. We do what we do for the food. The benefits of growing one's food completely overwhelm the work load. And even though it's … [Read more...]

… and then there was death.

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A reader once told me that the veil between life and death was so sheer thin, it almost made it impossible to breathe. Last night, as I held our dead lamb in my arms, I knew exactly what she meant. My initial response was anger. Anger at the situation, anger that there was nothing I could do to bring him back to life, anger that I was in that position of sadness and loss. Anger at … [Read more...]

It Is Finished.

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My husband delivered a few meditations at our Good Friday service yesterday, and as I sat there with my three fussing children, crayon wrappers littering the aisle, the smell of a poopy diaper wafting through the air, I listened passionately to the words he shared with the congregation. And then, tears began to stream down my cheeks. Christ's death was real. Was powerful. Was for me. As … [Read more...]

How To Pay Off Debt: How we paid off $30k of debt in less than a year.

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I remember reading in one of Dave Ramsey's financial guidance books that if people are making fun of your car, you're probably in the right spot with your debt payoff. Well, the 'ol van is broken down and sitting in our driveway (in true trashy fashion). It's got a mouse living in the dashboard somewhere and in a few more days, the studded tires on it are going to be illegal and there aren't … [Read more...]

Of Whom I Am The Worst.

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Dear mother at the grocery store, I'm sorry for judging you when your child broke down at the register because you wouldn't let him have a candy bar. I've now been there, tears and all. Screw those dang racks of crap they line the checkout lines with. Dear mother with the messy house, I'm sorry for judging you when I came over thinking you should have prioritized straightening your home up … [Read more...]

Natural Aids For Postpartum Depression

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For a variety of reasons, this has been a difficult post for me to write. I keep thinking the words will come easily and that I’ll be super eager to share, but in reality, they don’t. And I’m not. But I will - because I think it’s important, especially as a blogger, that we maintain some factor of ‘realness’. My friends, even for a farm-lovin’ Mama with a fantastic husband and a quiver of … [Read more...]

Christmas as a minimalist.

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My friend Rachel is a minimalist.  Every time I read one of her posts, I'm inspired to do the same. (Let's just pretend like my junky bathroom closet doesn't exist. And let's forget about the slew of old wrapping paper, gigantic travel bags, loner socks, and need-to-be-retired work boots that are shoved under our bed. Oh, and let's also not open up my pantry. Ever. Ok?) Though, in … [Read more...]

Regret.

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It was a small instance that triggered my emotions this morning. As I drove up the road to my friend Lauren's house to drop the kids off for a few hours (as I've done a dozen times), my view caught the street sign - 'Dana'. If one were to drive down Dana, then take a quick left on Jefferson, they'd quickly find themselves at my high-school boyfriend's house. I spent many an hour there with … [Read more...]