Did I remember to put pants on? Seriously. Please tell me I'm wearing pants right now.
Yes, my friends, this thought actually went through my head as I was driving the minivan full of rascals into town this past week. Amongst the chaos of sippy cups, car seats, school uniforms, backpacks, snacks, feedings, diapers, wipes, cell phones, lists, checks to deposit at the bank, and milk jars set for delivery – I actually had to ask myself if I'd remembered to put on pants.
You know how we all hear stories about parents forgetting their kids in the shopping cart at the grocery store? Or driving away from home, only to remember a block later that their toddler is waiting for them back in their driveway?
I used to judge these people. Now, I totally get it.
Because the first thought that went through my head after questioning my pants was “Do I even have all the children in the car?”
They say the third child is the one that breaks the camels back – the one that reallly pushes you over the edge as a parent. Thankfully, I haven't found this to be the case as far as pushing me over the edge. Now, as far as testing my mental capacity to handle small tasks and details – that's another story. Brain = Maximum Detail Overload.
These past two weeks with Will have been wonderful – he's sleeping well, eating well, napping well, and overall a huge joy to have around (especially when he sneaks me those cute little smiles while he's nursing – ahhh, I love those!). And thus far, he's been a pretty passive addition to the family – nurse, wake, sleep, nurse, wake, sleep, nurse, wake, sleep. It's all pretty straight forward at this point. But with Stu going back to teaching this past week, as well as Georgia starting KinderPrep at his school, I guess you could say my Momma brain is being stretched a bit.
Here's what my brain looks like trying to leave the house:
Which car do I have? Does it have all the car seats? Does it have gas? Crap. I forget to get gas in it again. I'll need to coast to town.
When I go to town, I should take those jars of pickles to the shop on the way to get them off the washing machine.
(Loads pickle jars into car with no gas.)
All of the kids will be hungry. I better feed Will before the other's are ready to go.
(Sits down to feed Will).
45 minutes later…
Change Will's diaper. Change his clothes after realizing there's poop on them too. Bribe Georgia into bringing me an extra diaper and set of clothes from the boys' room.
Change Owen's diaper. Eek. Toddler poop is much grosser than baby poop. Make mental note to start Owen on potty training.
Get clothes on Owen that make him not look like a homeless child who has spent the last three days eating and sleeping in a dumpster. Scrape the chicken turd from the bottom of his foot.
Pack up wipes, diapers, extra clothes, and a blanket into my purse. Make mental note to clean out my purse so that it doesn't weight 74 pounds. Plus, the dirty diaper in there is really starting to smell…
Brush Georgia's teeth. Wipe off her face. Yes, I know she wants to do it herself. Fight her for 5 minutes explaining why Mommy needs to do it too. Rip out the rubberband from her tangled hair and attempt to brush (who are we kidding, we're finger combing it at this point). Might as well just lick the palm of my hand and wipe her bangs out of her face while I'm at it.
Scavenge her bedroom for her school uniform. Realize, after ten minutes, that she's put it on her giant stuffed cow and remove. Get her dressed, hope the teacher doesn't notice the milk stain on her sleeve, and gather up her books to take back to her classroom.
Sit Georgia in front of some Kipper and pray she doesn't get up, go outside, spill her drink, or cause a ruckus before it's time to leave.
Meanwhile, find the hobbit and get his teeth brushed too. Realize, for the 1,591,492 time, that he hates having his teeth brushed. Body pin him down on the floor and brush away while he screams anyway. Dental health is important, man.
Make mental note to get Owen a haircut. Even with clean clothes, he still looks slightly homeless. I should message my stylist, Carlee. I wonder how Carlee is. I miss getting to see her. Maybe she's free for coffee this week. Am I free for coffee this week? Could I be? I wonder if I could make that work. I should text her.
Set Owen in front of Kipper. Plead with him to not get up, go outside, spill his drink, or cause a ruckus before it's time to leave.
Get Will in carseat. Transfer carseat to car.
Come back inside. Pour final cup of coffee. Grab some vitamins and shove them in my pocket. Nutrition on the go, baby.
Grab Owen. Transfer to car.
Pull Georgia away from Kipper. Transfer to car.
Everyone needs fresh sippy cups of milk at this point, because they've already drank their other ones. Oh great… now they're hungry again too.
Go inside. Pour fresh milk. Grab 74 pound purse with poopy diaper in it. Do I have diapers for both boys? Do I have wipes? Where are the car keys? Did Georgia remember her snack? I better shut the oven off – I bet the tomatoes are done roasting. I should probably move the water in the garden too.
Shut off oven and move water in garden.
Coast to town because car is out of gas.
Get to gas station. Open door – ask self: Self, DID YOU REMEMBER TO PUT ON PANTS?
Life with babies, toddlers, and children is hard. There are days when it feels as if the world is caving in, starting with our home. And somedays, I swear, there are extra little elves that come in to help my children destroy the house more than I thought humanly possible. And somedays, I see pictures of young couples in love and long for the times when Stuart and I could have quiet conversations for as long we'd like, hang out at coffee shops, ride our horses as often as we wished, and make out all day uninterrupted.
But then there are other days.
There are days when I spend a good amount of time exploring our property with Georgia, amazed at her curiosity and wonder about the world and how it works. There are days when Owen will come beside me as I'm weeping in frustration and gently rub my back as if to say, “You've got this, Mama.”. There are days when I set aside all obligations to stare into the face of my newborn baby – soaking up that sweet delicious smell and sleepy grin.
Life with three children under four has been maddening. And it's been beautiful.
I can't imagine life without any of the little monsters.
This Mama is grateful.
Camille
Only one baby, for me it’s shoes. Got to the store and was walking in before I realized oh ya not wearing shoes cause they were covered in mystery poop. I meant to clean them… I also walked through Costco in my socks, so not gonna drive home for shoes. Don’t judge me lol π
Jacque Campbell
Only one child here and sometimes I wonder how anyone does it with more. I will be 2 hours late with 3 kids!! I have such a difficult time now. I have those days as you say, the quiet ones that I miss…but then the days my little lady sits with her head bowed in prayer over a meal and ends it with, “Ameen.” Those are the moments that make the crazy ones vanish in an instant.
Melanie
This is exactly how it is. We went to a wedding last night leaving our 4 1/2 yr., 2 yr. and 6 month old home for the first time in months. I kept looking at the happy young couple thinking, you have no idea what is in store for you, and being slightly jealous of their current freedom. (As i was checking my phone to make sure my mom wasn’t calling me, which she did, twice.) It also made me wonder how many people thought the same thing about us at our wedding. π The best part though was getting home and getting a great neck hug from my 2 year old asking where I had been. Love them.
Danielle
Shay, we just had our third 7 weeks ago. We also have one that is 19 months old and an older boy. We are in the thick of it too! It is amazing how much the dynamic is shifted with the addition of number 3. They are all so precious and lovely but all so needy (and in such different ways!). I have learned just how much I can do all at once these days. I said a prayer for you that The Lord will give you the extra daily dose of energy and creativity you will need. You got this!
Sara Wutzke
I just found your blog-I’m a fellow pnw-er, and I agree that the third stretches you mentally, but they’re so fun! I’m seven months with number 4 so it can’t be too bad, right? π Will is a gorgeous baby, congratulations!
season
This made me smile. I have two children 7 and 12 but some of this still happens to me . Scraping the chicken turd off the bottom of the foot really made me giggle. I don’t know how many times my kids have had chicken poop on their feet considering they dont believe in shoes! I often wonder if they have it in their sheets but I’m too busy and scatterbrained to go check. I have been reading your blog for a long time now just never commented before. Love it!
Ashley
Thank you, thank you for this post. As silly as it sounds, it really makes me feel better to know that other moms have this type of thing going on in their brains. I have 3 as well (6, 4, 2) and the details are just gone! Sometimes I’ll even say something to my husband and forget about it completely about 5 seconds later. You’re doing a great job.
FRANCESCA
oh right….I do too!
alyson
We all need some extra prayers during our newborn days, whether it’s our 1st or 10th child. I had 4 under the age of 6 and that last baby took me for a whirlwind Ha! I could only imagine having the responsibilities of raising a farm also. You’ve got this, Mama!
Stephanie
Made me laugh and made me cry! (AT WORK!) Thanks for sharing and reminding me why it’s okay I only have one blessing right now. π
FRANCESCA
Oh, that’s so…me.
I have 2 boys ( 3 years and a half and 1 year and a half) and, believe me….
I SO understand you.
Thanks for this post: it was “funny”, it was moving and I had fun and stress and so much joy and relief too reading this post!
Francesca
Rose
I went to a pool party in my wellies the other day. You know. Because I had been doing mucky work and forgot I had them on. So stylish!
I have three as well. Loved your take on it! I’m right there with you, girl!!
Dev
This post made me giggle through some tears.
Margie DeCaro
Enjoyed reading this. Believe it or not, I miss those days.
Joanna
I actually laughed at loud. Thank you. I have three, ages 4, 2 and 4 months….nuff said:)
Rebekah
At first I thought three wasn’t so bad, I remeber saying that to a friend. Oh was I wrong. Lol. Strap in, because it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!
Dee
Ah, I remember those days. I called it Mush Brain. For me, it developed sometime during my first pregnancy, was chronic for some years and cleared up sometime around my last child’s 6th birthday. Don’t worry Lil’ Mama. You WILL remember the important things. Pants? They’re over-rated.
Rachel
I love reading your blog, but rarely comment because I have 4 children 8 and under and one on the way. I don’t often have free typing hands! But I had to comment on this because I could SO relate! And I remember the days of 3 kids 4 and under oh, so well. At least, I think I do … But the burning question is: DID you remember to put pants on??? π
Shaye Elliott
Thankfully, yes π
Sarah
This summed up my day everyday. I also have three littles, 5, 2, and 5 months. It is crazy sometimes. I often find myself driving down the road and think to myself “did I remember the baby?” It does get better, maybe not easier, but better. You somehow find a rhythm. Enjoy God’s little blessings!
Ashleigh
I love everything about this…and I am trying hard not to laugh out loud because my three (three and under) are all asleep. At least for the moment π it’s like you were in my head. Keep on keepin on mama! These are the best- and most crazy- days π
raisingcropsandbabies
Oh, just wait for the blowouts in public with 3+ kids! I had my first 4 kids in 4 years and it was chaotic! Whirlwind days. π There was one fateful afternoon at the YMCA, where the 2 younger ones experienced blowouts just as the oldest son’s gym class was ending… and no spare clothes… I’m sure I was quite a sight with all 4 of them (half of who were naked).
I’m pregnant with our 5th and my brain is going through similar… issues right now. Not working at full capacity!
Melony
So enjoyed reading this. I am an older mother to eleven children. We had a mini farm once when there were children of all ages. I am now at home with the youngest two – at 17 and 15 year old. Those precious little ones. I am sure you are wise enough to know that it goes by too fast. So glad I got to be home with mine till they found life partners and made homes of their own. Life is sweet. God is good.
Jennifer A
I remember for about 6 months after number 3, when people were speaking to me I would think “those are words, you know what they mean, right?” But it does get less fuzzy! I’m about to find out what happens after number 4…hoping I’ll be able to retain my vocabulary!
Jennifer A
It’s not looking good, because I forgot to say he’s beautiful!
Jenna
Don’t worry, it gets easier after 3. See, once you hit 3 you are outnumbered in the parents/kids ratio but when you get used to 3 and settled in, adding more kids to the mix is really not as hard. I have 6, this seemed to be true for us anyways lol. You are doing great, mama! π
Laura
I loved reading this! Thank you for sharing your heart. It’s always reassuring knowing you are not alone. The last of our children have just recently moved out, and our oldest children are in the same life stage that you described here, caring for little ones. Aplogizing continually for constantly being late and forgetting things they never used to forget. Of course I reassure them, reminding them that I have been where they are, and telling them there is no judgement here, only love, respect, and gratitude for children who have grown up to be wonderful parents, and for their precious and adorable children. Grandparents always seem to have a different perspective than parents do, and I think I finally understand why. I think it’s because the job of parenting seems so endless when you’re in the midst of it, but Grandparents know that it really does come to an end. Yes, our grown kids still need us from time to time, but it’s different now. I can talk to my husband in our very own home, knowing that nobody is going to overhear and misunderstand our conversation. (I used to have to try to have such conversations only in the car, on those rare occaisions when we were alone there.) It really does happen. They really do grow up. And, miracle of miracles, we all lived to tell about it! Parenting is one wild ride, but one I am so glad I got to go on.
Karin
Once you switch from man-on-man to zone defence, it’s all good. We had 4 under 6, and to this day, I count heads when we get in the van, even though they are all teens. Number three was the one where I fell asleep every time I sat down. EVERY TIME. Fairly embarrassing when you have company over to visit the new baby! If it was important that I stay awake, I nursed standing up. So take heart, you are doing a fabulous job!
christine
Enjoy all of the chaos now, you will miss those days when they are teenagers! Some of the happiest times of my life were when my kids were babies.
Heather B
I burst out laughing when I read the title of this post, because the ‘do I have pants on?’ panic moment hits me all the time. Like when I go get the mail. Or hustle everybody out the door. I seriously thought I was the only person who had to check for pants. I admitted it to the hubs once and he got deeply concerned for me…
Rachel
My mother-in-law gave me your cookbook, which I love, and I have since been following your blog off and on, and I just want to say thank you for your honesty and willingness to be so transparent about the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful that is this life. I am a mother of three littles close to the same ages as yours and it is so nice to read your posts and know there is someone else who “gets it” π With our own dreams of buying land and starting a little farm this year I find your site inspiring. So thank you π
shellie strugnell
Just so hilariously written.! Thank you! As a grandma, I still remember those days so clearly and want you to know that though it seems it will never end, those years of really young ones go so fast and then it’s gone. Gone for good. New stages and new adventures and it does get easier and easier until it gets so easy that your heart is broken because they don’t need you any more. Your role will change and grow, but at 28 and 23, I still wish I could pull them onto my lap and rock them and cuddle them again at times. Blessings of supernatural strength upon you and all the young moms who have commented. Simplify your lives as much as possible during this season so you have enough of you for everything. Many things can be added back into life in a few years, but it is not worth it now to do too much and stress yourself out. God bless you!