Slow down, Shaye. Just slow the heck down. Breathe, Mama, just breath. In. Out.
Breeeeeeeeeeeathe.
Last week, I took my own advice, and followed through with deep, satisfying breaths. I happened to be out with my animals when I began encouraging myself. It'd be a hectic morning, after a hectic trip to Montana, and we'd come home to a hectic, messy house full of hectic, messy children. It's just this stage of life, y'all. It's all hectic. It's all messy. Like MESSY.
But as I was moving from pen to pen in the barn, watering, feeding, and observing the animals, I reminded myself – breathe. This is life. It ain't going anywhere. The messy house will be messy for the next thirty years. The children will be crazy and needy forever. Submit and breathe.
In my relaxed state, I began to slow down and observe the animals on a different level. Because I was standing still long enough to notice. Eleanor, the bottle lamb we raised a few years back, had a look. Just a look. Not one I could put my finger on… just a look. I called Stu over who helped me to move her into the lambing pen – just in case.
A few hours later, I came out to check on Eleanor with Georgia in tow. We found Eleanor with a bag of water hanging from her backside. Time for lambs, man!
For the next thirty minutes, we sat in Eleanor's pen and watched her easily deliver twins. Had I rushed through morning chores, I would have missed it all – her look, moving her to the pen, checking on her amongst the afternoon chaos.
We would've missed this moment that, as you'll hear Georgia explain, “is amazing”:
Slow down, Shaye. Just slow down.
I've only got 5ish weeks left until baby arrives. These are my last few days as a Mama to 3 – I should be breathing in the rest and “normal” that I know. I should be sleeping soundly through the night and taking lots of bubble baths. I should be absolutely savoring these last few beautiful weeks when baby is in my belly and not demanding… well, you know, baby stuff.
Baby Will has changed leaps and bounds these past few weeks. All of a sudden he has serious opinions and is learning how to vocally share those with us. Today, he grabbed ‘Cupcake', Georgia's baby doll, and sat down to hug and kiss on her. “Baby!” he joyfully screamed at me as I passed by with the broom. My eyes welled up with tears .
Hormones people. They're not messing around.
Slow down, Shaye. Just slow down.
Savor your husband. Savor his youthful energy and playful manner. Savor the time you get to spend with him instead of stressing what still needs to be accomplished. Kiss him more – yes, definitely more of that. Slow down, sip a latte with the man, and breath in his beautiful mind. And beard.
During the ‘witching hour' last night, I called my Mom at the edge of myself. The kids had been outside in the mud – which is great! – except for the fact that they needed a bath before we could even sit down for supper. It completely destroyed my freshly cleaned bathroom and newly washed bath mats. I had seven loads of folded laundry sitting on the kitchen table. The dryer knocked the proscuitto off it's top and a gallon of sea salt was strewn over my kitchen floor. A trail of dirt, mud, and hay was embedded in the floor. The sink was full of dishes. I had taken the sheets off my bed to wash them only to have a certain three-year-old hobbit take giant bites out of my foam pad and spit them all over the floor. Willy was eating crayons. And even my beloved French Cafe radio station turned on me, for some unknown reason, was blasting rave music. The ‘daily grind', even without any additional work or projects, was almost unbearable. It was hairy, y'all.
… and so, I slowed down. I savored my supper. I mingled with my husband and brother-in-law over a gigantic plate of pasta and I sat there. I let the chaos swirl around me. I kept telling myself to breathe.
And wouldn't you know, it all passed. Kids eventually went to sleep. Many hands helped with the dishes. Stuart vacuumed up the filth of the day and I put clean sheets back on the bed. It passed – as it always, always does.
Please, y'all. Remind me to breathe. Remind me that as I prepare for this fourth baby, the chaos will swirl, but it will always pass.
Sip. Savor. Soak. Love.
And Amen.
joanna
My favorite post! We have four children and lots of dreams and even more chicken poop! But I have to remember to sip, savor, soak, love….thank you????
Jennifer Dynys
Timely, thank you. We have eight children and live on a farm too. We are trying to remodel our dysfunctional laundry/mudroom, build new chicken pens, start seeds, home school, cook healthy food etc… Today I asked my husband, why didn’t we just buy a functional house and skip the farm, wouldn’t life have been a lot easier? Sure it would have, but how dull right? By the way, I am sure you have heard that three little ones is the hardest time. It really truly does get easier, not really less messy, but less hectic in many ways.
Lisa @ Farmhouse on Boone
I am right there with you! I have to remind myself this all the time because the craziness isn’t stopping anytime soon!
Tiffany
Are you reading my mind or what?! Thank you for this…slow down and enjoy it all! All six, messy, loud children, 2 acre garden, and mixture of livestock!
Deb B
…as Georgia said ‘ Amazing!’ That says it all.
And good luck with this new little one, a nice easy, fast labor! What a Blessing they are! ????
Katie
I love your posts so much. I don’t have kids, or a farm – but I dream of having both. Your posts are always so refreshing with their honesty (yup, kids and farm life are tough!) but also your ability to embrace those difficulties with grace and gratitude and to appreciate all the goodness that comes with the challenges.
Lauren
While Reading this post and seeing Eleanor’s video I realized I really miss you!!
Autumn
Yes. My baby is about to turn five. She’s the youngest of four and the oldest is 10 so I was right there, just yesterday it seems. It’s hard to take those breaths sometimes, the utter chaos and craziness of it all is so overwhelming. But the memories are so dear, if somewhat foggy sometimes. And I look around now at our messy school room and our muddy boots, and messes of every other possible nature you can imagine, and am thankful for the reminder to slow down. This is a pretty great gig.
Miley
Amen Shaye! AMEN!!! I love my time at my little farm – watching life HAPPEN – not pass me by. Watch the birds fly and begin building nests – watch my sheep give birth, then nurse and call for their new lambs. Watch my horses roll in the mud after getting a brushing and having a shiny coat! My human “babies” are almost grown and gone – but, I am so glad I enjoyed every second with them – the good and the bad – and the prayers – it is all so worth it. Life passes by so quick – just stop, breathe, look, listen – life is God’s gift – we shouldn’t squander it.
God Bless!!
Peacock Orchard
I’m envious of your ability to remain out with the animals at all during this time. Our wind has been worse than ever. It pushes us inside, and the animals too. I open a bottle of wine when it gets too much. You can’t enjoy that now, but eventually you will again!
Kate
This post is such a great reminder Shaye! You just seem to know exactly what us Mama’s need to hear. I am praying for you in these last few weeks of pregnancy and sending peaceful vibes your way. Thanks for sharing this birth video, it was part of our homeschool day today <3
Denise
Shaye, ???????? You deserve a break today????????!!!!! My gosh girl breathe!!!! I don’t know how you have done it all lately and pregnant on top of it!!!!!???? Thank you so much for sharing the birthing of the lambs, amazing!! Your children are so very lucky! More children today need a very important education that they never receive and that is we’re are food comes from and ALL the HARD work that goes into it. My hats off to you and your husband for a job well done!! ???????? Just remember as hard as it can be some day pretty soon quicker than you can imagine they will be 29,25 and 15 ( the age of my boys!) Enjoy but most importantly just breathe!! Denise Watson
Wanda
I am mother of 11 so my heart is touched with remembering those crazy but extremely wonderful days……..I have no regrets about the many times I just enjoyed the kids, read to them and cuddled them and didn’t worry a bit about the chaos..my children do not remember that our house was messy but they remember I loved them:) Do breathe and enjoy. They grow up oh so so fast. The messy some day will be clean. And quiet:( ENJOY!!! Soak it up, embrace and love every minute of the wonderful wonderful chaos:)
Lorinda-The Rowdy Baker
Ah, Shaye – what a beautifully written, timely post. My kids are grown and gone, but I still extend myself to that frantic point of not being able to focus on anything at all. Thank you for the reminder, AND the darling lamb pics!
Kailyn
Oh did I need this reminder today! I’ve 11 weeks pregnant with my 2nd little one and already feel overwhelmed…If I don’t start breathing I won’t make it! Thanks for the wisdom!
Corina
Hey lady, yes, breathe, and keep in mind that you are not only growing baby number 4 (and mentally preparing to deal with a newborn – whoheeeeee!!!!), but you also are running a farm, a household, mothering three kids and a bunch of baby animals, AND growing a business. I’ve watched you create things and publish and market, and let me tell you: the business side of things is a lot of work just right there!!! And I bet you don’t have a huge team of people doing this for you, but you are doing it mostly by yourself.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You deserve a huge breather. Like a breather that takes a year!
Plus, hormones are CRAZYYYYYYYY!!!!!
I have a feeling you are your own worst critic, and I can relate, because I judge myself most harshly, pushing myself, doing too much, feeling overwhelmed by it all (especially when all the baby goats are getting born at the same time. Ahem).
Anyway, just saying: be kind to yourself! It’s a hard one, but so important!
Sorry I got preachy there for a second!
Karen
Best Post Ever
Danae Wheeler
You can do this! Our 3rd child is due in about 5 weeks as well and I’m telling myself the same things – slow down, enjoy, kiss more. 🙂 We are in transition – sold our house and living with family while waiting for our good Lord to guide us to the property He has for us. Hopefully soon after baby arrives we can finally make the move. But I know that’ll be hectic and crazy and even harder with a new baby demanding baby things. 🙂 My 4 yr old and 2 yr old watched the lamb video with me – it’s an amazing thing for sure to be able to experience that, esp in person. Congrats to all the new life around the farm!
Susan
I don’t think you ever truly appreciate the old saying “The days are long, but the years are short” until the kids get older and move on with their own lives. I can remember days that seemed endless in their chaos. I thought I would go crazy; the messes, the whining, the fighting. But somehow you survive and the next thing you know, you are dropping them off at college and wondering where the years went. You’ll yearn for those tortuous days simply because you can’t stand that it has all come to an end!
You are very wise, Shaye. Let the house be dirty, let the kids be dirty, let the chaos ring out! Just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy because, as my grandma used to say, this too shall pass.
Cari L
I’m a homeschool mama too. Your description of the witching hour so brings me back!! My littles were born all within 3.5 years so things were a bit intense for awhile. But now the youngest is four and things aren’t so witchy anymore 🙂 Hang in there, you’re doing great! My motto is always “it’s just a phase”. I can get through any phase with the knowledge that this too shall pass.
julie
Shaye, hope this post helps you breathe. Just breathe.
http://thebusinessofhome.com/2016/02/23/raising-boys/
Dorie
They ( the kids) are only with us for a short time in the grand scheme of things. One day before you realize it you will miss this stage.
Janet
Love this post, and I’m right there with you! Toddlers, animals, fixer upper house, etc. This is a great reminder.
Amanda
Shaye,
What an important reminder to me to savor my husband, child, family, and dear friends. I want so badly to remember these lessons, but it is so, so hard to do. I suppose its a skill like anything else and the only way I’ll get better at it, is to breathe through the anxiety over messes (!) and chores and to-do’s and, instead, be present. What a gift your honesty and transparency is to us as your readers.
Wishing you peace during your last few weeks as a mama of three.
Heidi
Beautiful lambs, and beautiful story. It makes me want some sheep of my own : )
Cathy
Oh that video! Thank you!
Victoria
Thank you thank you for the birthing video! My daughters enjoyed watching real farm life even though we don’t live it! Prayers for renewed energy!!!!! Understand…….:-)