Changes, y'all. Big changes.
I felt so melancholy a few nights back, I wanted to just crawl out of my skin. I sat in bed, nursing Juliette… staring out the window… praying with Stuart. The sprinkler was watering the field off in the distance and it's faithful tick-tick-tick gave a rhythmic undertone to my heavy heart.
Do you ever feel that way?
In the past six months, we've moved farms. Lost two of our dogs. Had a new baby. And last Friday, Stuart finished his last day of teaching for the foreseeable future.
What the heck, man.
What's a girl to do with all these cha-cha-cha-changes?
‘Retiring' Stuart to the farm wasn't exactly what we had in mind. Our entire life structure since we first got married centered around him earning his degree, getting a teaching job, moving to Alabama for our first year of teaching, and then moving back to Washington for another three years of teaching here. Teaching is what our family knows. School community is what we know.
And here we are.
It sorta feels like streaking, buck naked, through an open field. Sorta amazing! And also sorta weird.
This freedom… it's strange. To pursue different avenues of passion. To feed our dreams.
Right now, much of that is devoted to building our farm. We're in the depths of the kitchen remodel and have been laboring over the garden beds all week – planting, tilling, weeding, tending. 13 new rabbits joined the colony a few days back and our broody turkeys are due to hatch their eggs any day now. Cecelia will be bred in a few months. Pigs will farrow at the end of summer.
Oh yes, make no mistake, there is much to do.
Last week also marked the final days of our newest (and best!) cookbook Family Table. As in got the proofs, sent to the printer, batta bing batta boom.
Batta bing batta boom makes it sound easy. Lord help me. It wasn't. But it's done and that is a huge victory for us! Can I get an AMEN?
Our doTERRA family is growing every day and is some of the most gratifying work I've ever done. I couldn't love this work, this company, and my co-workers more. I had no idea when I began sharing essential oils a few years back it would turn into our family's main source of income and that we would get to bless so many people along the way.
It all feels a bit like a tornado right now. Not that it's always crazy (though it is), but as life goes, it's turning out exactly – and nothing – like we had planned. I could've never anticipated having our own farm to build this year, or Stuart finishing teaching at a school that we ‘thought' was our forever school. I never would have thought I'd be sharing doTERRA, promoting a new cookbook, and writing a BRAND SPANKIN' NEW homesteading book with a REAL PUBLISHER (due out Spring 2017!) – all while Stuart finishes his Master's in Classical Christian Studies. And, by the way, home-schools our children. And does pastoral assistant work at our church.
Lord – my cup is OVERFLOWING with awesomeness. (I capitalized overflowing so you could really feel my enthusiasm.)
But with all this joy, this incredible richness, there is pain and uncertainty. There is mess, there is disorganization, there are deadlines. Two of my dearest friends and their families are moving away from the school, and subsequently our church, as well. I had to say goodbye to them and my heart leaps to my throat just thinking about it. I have to trust in God's divine plan, sovereignty, and purpose.
Pretty much like I have to do every day around these parts. Surely I'm not the only one who wants to weep when they see a beautiful head of broccoli?
This mix of human emotion… I suppose it's good to feel it all as a reminder that we are human. We feel.
So many feelings, my friends.
I lay it all at the Lord's feet. While a lost friend, a hurting child, a sick animal, or a book deadline, might not be big news in the history of the world… it's big news in my heart and in this home. I'm learning to continually, and faithfully, work each day for that day. To live each day for that day.
To pray more. To worry less. And to give thanks for the incredibly complex ways the Lord works in our lives and in the lives of those whom He loves.
Change is growth. And growth is good.
And Amen.
Kim McCallie
Hi Shaye! I’ve been a regular follower of your blog for quite a while, but have never commented. I felt compelled to do so today as I can totally relate to everything that you have written here. I made a decision this past December to leave my job to pursue my writing career and to be more present at home. While I do have a cookbook being released next month, it will be quite a while before I see any royalties from the sales. My husband works full-time and fully supports my dreams; however, I painfully feel the tightening of the budget each month and question whether I made a mistake in leaving my job. I had hoped that somewhere along the line that I would find some paid writing opportunities, but they have not materialized. Will they after the publication of my cookbook? The realist in me says no. So, I am praying that the Lord will guide me to my next move whether that move is to go back to work outside of the home or to stay the course and earn a living from my dream.
Kim
Beautiful post Shaye. You and your family are in my thoughts. Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more excited about something-(your new cookbook) you tell me you’re writing a homesteading book due 2017! Things to look forward to for sure. Just breathe, and pray. You’re doing such a great job!
Taylar Heneghan
I didn’t realize you lost another one of your dogs, I’m so sorry. My heart broke for you and your family when Toby passed, I shed many tears reading your tribute to him.
You have a very full plate, but I am sure you can handle it! You never cease to amaze me with everything you always seem to be doing and get done. You truly are an inspiration, and I hope that offers some small bit of solstice when you’re feeling a little blue.
Everything is going to work out — it always goes. Stay Strong!!
organic momma
Hi Shaye-
I so appreciate you and your honesty. I can relate on so many levels.
I am reminded that God knows exactly what is ahead and He know what
each one can handle. He knows. Rest …in Him. Life is messy
and I am so thankful that NOTHING messes up our Lord and Saviour.
Thanks for sharing and for those life lessons you continue to teach
us. You are the real McCoy !
Liam G
It’s funny how life never seems to give us what we expect but yet, most times, we are able to rise to the challenge. After we’ve gotten through whatever the challenge was, we tend to look back and realize that while unexpected, we were somehow prepared to meet the challenge and the unexpected challenge makes sense in a “hind site is 20/20” sort of way.
Wish you all the best.
Buffy
To pray more, to worry less, and to give thanks for the way the Lord works in our lives.
I needed this today. I appreciate your candor. Thank you
Jennifer
You often write things that get to my heart. My life is also overflowing with awesomeness and uncertainty. Your feeling of melancholy in the midst of the bounty of life is not unfamiliar to me. It’s reassuring to know that I am not alone in that.
I look forward to hearing more from you.
Bev
Our family has taken a year leave- of – absence ( perhaps permanent) from my husbands full time job. We’ve had many people wondering why in the world we would do this. And they are right, from the world’s perspective. But we are not to be of the world. Our faith lies in Christ and all he can do. We have ten children three of whom are already married. The remaining seven are growing up fast and we really want to enjoy every minute we can with them. God has provided odd jobs as well as working on our farm to meet our daily needs. It been amazing to see God through all this. Keep your eyes and heart focussed on Him and enjoy this family time that you have been blessed with. God provides in so many ways.
LIn
And AMEN indeed!
anonymous
My husband lost his job in April. My children don’t know.
My youngest son just had shoulder surgery due to an unforeseen sports injury so we have medical bills like you guys do too.
I sell surplus eggs to make the food bill for our 4H pigs so the boys won’t suspect that we don’t otherwise have the $.
I feel absolutely battered……… but I am on my face EVERYDAY in prayer because I KNOW God hears my cry and will provide.
Dani
What an awesome time of life! It seems that huge changes like these always happen right after a baby is born. That’s happened all 3 times for me anyway. We have a goal to be able to retire my husband to the farm in 10 years, I pray that it will work out.
M Stone
Love your blog and your life. You are so so real. Thank you for being willing to be open and real.
We just bought a home and some land with the dream of starting our own homestead. It has been you and your words that have made me feel like this is finally possible. We have 12 children and have always wanted them to grow up on a “farm” and now we can all begin that exciting adventure.
I am so excited to hear you are writing a homesteading book and hope it will include simple step by step guides from raw uncleared land to a beautiful full fledged homestead. I can hardly wait.
God bless you.
Cris Daining
Thank you for reading and commenting! We are blessed to have you as a reader. 🙂
Robin
I’m so excited to read your new homesteading book! I’m sure I will drool over the pictures and the adventurous life you all have carved out for yourselves.
We are trying to begin again as well: My husband resigned from his job in Singapore — without any new job lined up — and is applying for a green card so that we could move back to the States. There are many reasons, but one is to let his wife get the chickens and garden and hopefully home in the country she has been dreaming of for years. Truth be told, reading your blog late at night makes the wait harder; the Lord has gifted you with the ability to immediately draw your reader in and feel life as you live it. And I just can’t wait to get my hands a bit dirty again! Blessings!
Becca
This is an amazing post! Reminding me to just live in each day is a huge lesson to learn. It’s so easy to get caught up in the every day chaos and forget what are blessings really are. Life for us gets crazy and hectic, but at the end of the day, I’m totally thankful that it is that way. We’re making memories, we’re creating a legacy and we’re teaching our children values and that’s what is really important!
Very soon I’ll be going through changes as well. We currently homestead on 1/4 acre of land and have big plans to move in the very near future. I’m both excited and nervous. I’ve lived here my entire life, but I can’t give my children the life they deserve living here and it’s time to move on!
I’ll pray for you that everything you have going on goes smoothly for you!
Cris Daining
Thank you for your kind words and prayers! I am thankful having you as a reader. 🙂