I did something recently I swore I'd never do. Of all the identify flags I fly, this one was not one of them. And yet I found myself signing on the bottom line – vowing to give money every month – to a gym.
(Insert wailing and gnashing of teeth).
I'll blame the entire breakdown of self on my friend Amber. The woman has five young kids and finds time to go to the gym each day – because it's good for her mentally and physically and she's made a habit of it.
Doesn't it need to be more complicated than that? It feels like it needs to be more complicated than that…
Truth be told, I feel weak. Like my body is unsure of itself in a way. You ever seen a drunk white person try to dance? It's a bit like that. Are my ankles weak? Are my arms that unsure of how to work? Why is my knee kicking out to the side like that?
Currently a wobbly branch, I want my body to feel like a tree trunk. Sturdy. Confident. Unmovable. Strong.
Last year, after harvesting a 75 foot row of onions, I was laid up on the couch for two days with a sore back. The life I've devoted myself to here on our farm is so incredibly physical – from stacking hay to digging potato trenches to hauling in boxes of cabbages to standing on my feet 14 hours a day. There's no end to the physical demands of being a gardener and farmer and mother and cook. My body needs me to make it strong so that it can devote itself to this work for years to come.
I haven't worked out intentionally in… I don't know… a decade maybe. There was so many pregnancies followed by so much lactation followed by so much child rearing. It seemed impossible. But that was nothing more than a weak mental ditch I'd talked myself into.
It's amazing how good we are at self-deception.
I often think of a good friend of mine who once wanted to do a solo in her middle school choir decades ago. She sang like a whimpering bird. Finally, her powerhouse-of-a-choral-director shouted: “Angela, DO YOU WANT TO SING?”…. “Yes.” she softly said back…. “THEN SING!!!!”.
I think of this often. My mind will play tricks on me. I want to do this… I want to try this… I want to develop this skill…
THEN SING. SING WOMAN!!!
Turns out, I'm not a victim of my children or my circumstances or my body. Turns out, if I want to become strong I can. If I want to find opportunities for growth, I can. If I want to train, I can.
I CAN SING.
Let's be honest with each other. “I don't have time for that” literally translates into “That's not a priority for me right now.” Hard truth, but truth none the less.
I'll be frank. I'm two weeks in: combining yoga with barre workouts with running outside in the orchards with weight lifting at the gym. I don't love it. It hurts. Often mid-reps I swear and collapse on the ground while I watch the instructor finish her reps with ease. What is she a monster? Some weird freak of nature? Where is she hiding those muscles? Can my body even do that?
At first, this deterred me. As if they had some magic-sauce I just wasn't born with.
And then I realized how utterly stupid that was to think like that. I couldn't garden the way I do until I'd trained for years. I didn't come out of the womb being able to hand milk a cow with ease. I can't cook the way I do because I was born with mad skillz. I worked. I failed. I collapsed. I got kicked. I ruined crops. I ruined meals. And then I just kept going.
I kept singing.
Weird as it may sound, my physical goals are to be like Tasha Tudor. She gardened, hard core, well into her 90s. She was bent over, crouching down, hauling buckets and wheelbarrows, digging trenches, milking her goats, and harvesting her crops. When I'm 90, I want to be strong.
I want to be able to garden until I see my last sunset not so I can live my best life or be the best version of myself. So I can be strong, and steadfast, and disciplined.
And so I strength train. I squat. I lift. I run. I expand into a stronger version of myself.
I'm so awkward and wobbly it's ridiculous. My muscles burn and I'm constantly sore. I jog like my uterus is going to fall out. My legs don't extend the way they should when I crunch. I don't squat as deep as those around me. I shake. I sweat. I rage.
But I'll sing. And I'll continue to flop around like a beached whale until I get the hang of it. And I will. Because I'll keep going.
We can learn. We can adapt. We can get stronger.
You want to sing? SING WITH ME.
Alisha
Shaye, it’s so timely that I read this this morning! I am going to a physical therapist for help in getting strong. I feel so weak, trying to lift my toddler, and do my physical job of being a church musician.
If you haven’t done this already, I would encourage you to see a physical therapist who specializes in women’s conditions such as diastasis recti and pelvic floor dysfunction. I got can be a major cause of instability and weakness in your core that will literally spread to the rest of your body. If you especially have diastasis recti, some of the exercises that you do and your classes can make it worse. I just wanted to mention it because I know you have had four children. I have only had one so far, but my one pregnancy in resulted in moderate to severe diastasis recti. So I’d encourage you to get evaluated by someone who knows what they’re doing, especially if you continue to have pain and weakness while you are exercising.
Be strong.
Hannah Beecher
Hi, Shaye, I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years now and I love your style! Please be encouraged to keep at the fitness regimen–it does get better! My husband of 10 years left a month ago to go to Basic Military Training because he’s joining the Air National Guard. I have 4 kids aged 2-9, 4,000 pounds of full grown Ayrshire oxen, a lovely little milk cow and her sassy bull calf, three yearling oxen-in-training, chickens, ducks and an old, old horse š I’m managing it all on my own, and the gym has actually been a major component of my sanity and my energy level! Our metabolisms only produce as much energy as we demand of them–to create more we have to burn more š So as long as I and the kids are healthy I go to the Y at least three times a week to hit the weights and the track! Keep up the good work–as long as you’re careful and pay attention to your form, you won’t regret it!
lonelyhomesteader.blogspot.com
Ashley Pullen
Yes, friend!!! I feel the same way. I used to run and be strong. I was diagnosed with epilepsy after having big seizure in my yard. I let fear overcome me and stopped exercising. I’m so unhealthy and don’t feel well anymore. My heart rate has become dangerously high. I’m tired of it. I want to be a tree trunk also.
Beth Wall
Get it!!! You’ll love all of the positive changes you see in your body. And…your kids will see how you prioritize physical strength as a good thing! It helps me to be stronger mentally as well when I work out. Cheers to all the parents out there getting it done!
Alissa
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for sharing your pep talk. Iām in similar shoes and I needed to hear that! I will sing!!!
Deborah wilson
Hi Shaye you donāt have to kill yourself .such a good decision though weights really help keep bones strong and stretching so important but donāt over do your body will let you know listen to it Iām 68 been exercising since 20 be careful so you can do your gardening I think 4 or 5 days a week enough it makes arms look
Great I love it but have learned not to over do or back fires and then lm layed up and cant do what I love yard stuff good luck Deborah
Kathy Thomsen
Finally Iāve met someone whose life goal is to milk a cow til she is 90! Yeah Shaye! Singingg with you!
Rebecca Newman
“Let’s be honest with each other. āI don’t have time for thatā literally translates into āThat’s not a priority for me right now.ā Hard truth, but truth none the less.”
Dude. That hit me HARD…about Bible reading!
Susie Honea
Oh Shaye, your just the best, I was laughing so hard, I must confess I just started working out as well, at home though, but I look like a deranged giraffe. But I will sing!
Lisa
Just remember lifting weights will help build bones, in other words when you have a bone density test you will find out how likely you are to break a bone. I lifted for about 8 years and then quit to help be a caregiver, and ended up breaking an ankle, not once but twice in 9 weeks. Found out from the bone density test the lifting shows I have a very slim percentage of breaking a hip. When I finally got the boot off I started lifting again, and can’t wait to see the next bone density test!
Micah
The key to consistency for me was to find exercise I love to do and look forward to. For me itās ballet. Itās not always pretty as I try to exercise around 8 homeschooling kids. And constantly lose my balance because Iām trying to explain a math problem. Or miss a few steps because Iām answering a grammar question… but I look forward to ballet every day and am fitter than I have been in years.
Catherine
YESSS!! I am so weak and I get angry with myself because I can’t do work that needs to be done so I either injure myself doing it or wait for my husband (who is amazing BTW) to do it…yuck! I want to be strong and I’m making myself do it after this baby…You will be my inspiration!
Anne Howe
Hi Shaye, having been in a vegetative stage not able to move I chose to take baby steps: my weight training was to move jars of beans around or filled water bottles, my core training was on my bed and yoga and meditation figured to. I am a mature mum if 4 and I have come to realise that nothing is impossible if you take baby steps. Your core will get stronger and although my lifestyle used to require more energy, I have come to understand that I can do what is important and the rest is not important. Your body works very hard, you donāt have a sedentary lifestyle and working out is a form of self care. Go for it, make it a habit for you.ā¤ļøš¤
Jennifer
So happy for you, Shaye, that you’re persevering with this new endeavor. I’ve been lifting weights with my husband for only about six weeks and I’m already measurably stronger than I was. For the first time in my life (age: 45), I love lifting weights! I now actually prefer free weights to the machines because, being 5’2″, machines don’t fit my size very well. I’ve always loved to run, and am back at that, too, feeling great about it, getting faster and stronger each week. I’ve lost two pounds and clearly put on muscle. Forty-pound bags of chicken feed are easier to lift, and shoveling dirt all morning makes me tired but not pooped.
Keep it up, babe!
Jamie
You go girl!
At 64 I found my strength leaving my arms and my balance getting worse. I couldn’t spend hardly any time in my garden without winding up so SORE for the next three days that I could not move for the pain. Even just carrying 4 flakes of hay out to my horse was getting to be very hard for me to manage…too heavy to carry. This didn’t happen overnight and for months I knew I needed to do something…but what?. Now let’s also factor in all the ailments and physical limitations from injuries I have…or let’s not!!! I have to DO SOMETHING or waste away! NOT on my watch!
Enter Yoga and Strength training (adding Barre class this Friday – combo of ballet, palates and something else). So you know… I’ve never in my life done any of these activities and at 64 I’m going to start?! Sounds crazy! I have in the past (30 years ago or longer) joined a gym with machines (1970s); participated in Jazzersize (1980s); and Areobics (1990s); and nothing since. So this yoga stuff is VERY challenging and hard, and in the beginning of the Strength training I really thought it would be impossible for me to actually do it. 6 weeks later…the Yoga has dramatically improved my balance! Poses I could not do without leaning on the wall or holding on to a chair I am now going without the wall or chair support. And with the weight class I am now able to not only carry hay with ease one handedly but also push my entire body weight off the floor to a plank, pushup, plank! Now you have to realize at Thanksgiving I had to use both hands just to lift my small iron skillet out of the oven! I can’t believe the difference it has made in only 6 weeks time!
All this to say…if a 64 yo woman can do this, then so can anyone! Know your body’s limitations and respect it’s boundries. Strive for better because of them but be smart about it! Shaye, keep up the good work we are all rooting for you! Health is a precious commodity you don’t want to take for granted and most people don’t realize how good it is until they loose it.
Rita
My motto is āNo matter where you are or how you are, stay in the gameā.
After 10 children, homeschooling, a nursing profession alongside my life I decided to become a certified Yoga instructor to celebrate my 60th bday!In life we must strive to stay in the game. If it takes a cane, use it! If it takes a walker use it, if it takes a wheelchair use it!
You are important blessed and empowered through a loving God and He needs you to stay in the game!!
Maria Vuyiswa Mokoena
I love it! The power of a made up mind!
I am so inspired right now…quite a few songs I should start singing again. Only this time I wont stop š
Vicki Brain
My kids are grown, but I remember the sheer exhaustion of raising kids. Now I help a lot with grandkids and it takes a ton of energy. My first thought is have you had a thorough physical exam with blood work–checking for things like anemia which is so common to women and thyroid levels–not just stimulating thyroid hormone, but ALL of them. Arthritis and autoimmune diseases are so common to women. You might check out Dr. Amy Beard online. She was an emergency room physician and a registered dietician–her specialty is functional medicine. Dr. Amy and her husband, Paul, have an online cooking show. Her practice is now limited to tele-medicine and she works with patients who have their own primary physician. You might check her out.
Marcy Borganelli
OH MAN….. I NEEDED THIS TODAY!!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSPIRING WORDS!! I am 58 (knocking on 59’s door) and a year ago I was going religiously to a gym, (crossfit type), and had been for about 9 years, and last August I just stopped!! It may or may not have been over a man.. go figure (rolling eyes), but not pointing blame, for it was ME that just stopped driving there after work!! Since last August, I have seen major changes in my body, none of which are good… I am tired all of the time, my muscles feel so weak, I just don’t have the energy to do anything it seems like?? wah, wah, wah… excuses, excuses!! With all that said, I bought a little house recently, a little precious house I might add, with a couple of acres, not knowing what I was going to do with all that space, although it had a chicken coop out behind the house, and as my family was laughing at my new “farm”ideas, my wheels were spinning!! It was when a dear friend gave me your “Welcome to the Farm” book, that I decided I was all in!!! I now have 7 chickens to start with…we”ll see what comes after that!!? I also have to mow 1.3 acres with a push mower, which I love and have always considered “therapy” but now I’m struggling due to my lack of energy!!? After reading this post, I have GOT TO START SINGING!!! SO…. HERE I GO!!! LOOK OUT GYM, I’M COMING FOR YOU!!!
P.S. The Welcome to the Farm book is now in my top 10 favorite books!! Loved every word of it! I’m thinking it has changed my life!! I actually just re-read the chicken chapter!! lol
Sincerely,
Marcy Borganelli
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Heather
I was beginning to think that you were super human, the monster trainer. Iāve frequently asked after watching your fermenting and recipe videos ācan my body even do that?ā. After zero sleep, and tending to my four children, I feel like my uterus may fall out every time I just pick up the baby. I admire your gusto and Iām searching your blogs for the secret sauce. I need energy. Bad.