Sometimes all I can do is tuck into my home. When the world spins this quickly, I get dizzy. Whispers turn to shouts. News feeds turn into grenades. I'm left tattered, tangled, and full of despair.
We're not left without a way forward.
A way forward is to submit in prayer. To plead for mercy for myself, for my fellow humans, for our broken world, for the fall and folly of man.
God have mercy on your servants.
For our hate. For our disobedience. For our idolatry. For our continual lust for power, wealth, and notoriety. For exploiting and exposing. Dominating and destroying. Killing and deceiving.
Have mercy on us for we have sinned grievously against you and against each other. We have not loved you with our whole hearts. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
You are faithful, steadfast, and in you all mercy and forgiveness can be found. You are a good and just God and so very good to us. For the sake of our Savior, have mercy on us and forgive us that we may delight in your will and walk in your ways to the glory of your name.
A way forward is to accept that I cannot change this world – fallen and broken. What a horrible burden to try and carry. No, my dear friends, that is the Lord's work, not mine. I fear it will only cause great despair to try to fix what cannot be fixed by human hands. The world is the Lord's work. Humanity is the Lord's work. The heart is the Lord's work.
But I have work too. I have a way forward.
I have a husband to care for, serve, and love.
I have four children to teach, bring up, and direct. Four children that will teach their children who will teach their children. A heritage to create and spread wide.
I have a home, four walls, in which to pray for and with my fellow man, a home to feed people, a home to serve my community, to listen to grieving hearts, and to lay the foundations for our future. I cannot think of a better time to belly up to the supper table and listen to others stories, serve them faithfully, fill their bellies, and become their friend. Breaking bread. Sharing our hearts.
I have a community to love and care for. A community of rich people, poor people, sick people, proud people, educated people, every color of the rainbow.
There may be only six of us – but that is six souls to serve, love, and pray for the church and the people of the world.
Our voices are small but our God is great.
May we seek justice, peace, change, and love where it can truly be found.
If you're scrambling for answers to major questions, if you're questioning why you're here and what the point to all of this is, you may find this document helpful. It was the foundation of my conversion in my early twenties when I found myself asking those same questions.