My Mom's A Stalker

Remember this lady? One of the dancing white women?

Well, that's my Mom.
Yep.
I know.
And today is her birthday.

She is quite the lady.
Honest, caring, strong, generous, kind-hearted, and genuine.

She taught me how to raise my baby.
She taught me how to love the Lord.

And one day, when Georgia is a teenager, she promised to teach me how to always find out what she is doing behind my back so that she can never get away with anything.  Ever.  Mom will teach me how to stalk her and make sure that she never sneaks out and if she does, Mom will teach me how to hunt her down like a rabbit.

Where were you Shaye...err...Georgia?

At my friends Mom, why?

No you weren't. I called her parents.

I don't know what you are talking about Mom! I was there the whole time! Maybe her parents didn't know we were there because we were being so quiet and obedient.

(Insert awkward silence) No.

Shaye...err...Georgia I have pictures from a Private Investigator. And surveillance tapes of the neighborhood. And recordings from the wire I put on you while you were sleeping. And a signal from the GPS device I had installed into the sole of your shoe.

(Insert awkward silence)

This, my friends, it was is so great about a Mother who cares. 
And her stalking lessons will come in handy soon.

She plays it off well, doesn't she?