365 days ago, I was laying on a bed. Oozing from my freshly stapled scar.
How's that for an opening sentence?!
Let's take a step back here…
365 days ago today, after a restful nights sleep, I awoke at 4:00 a.m. to the most unique pain I had ever experienced. Menstrual cramps? No. Sharp pains? Sort of. Unique? Yes. That's the only way I know how to describe them.
365 days ago today, as I lay in the bathtub breathing through my consistent contractions, my husband offered to read me Lord of the Rings. Umm…no thank you. Not exactly what I consider relaxing…though I appreciated his wanting to help. I can only imagine how helpless a man must feel in this situation.
365 days ago today, after a few hours of laboring at home, I called my parents to tell them we were just going to swing by the hospital to see if I was “actually” in labor. I told them we would call them as soon as we knew. Needless to say, they arrived at the hospital before we did. They're prompt like that.
365 days ago today, I had to mentally check into my “happy place” (which is the cottage from the movie Babe), as a needle was shoved into my spine while I sat in a freezing cold surgical room. Ya. That was fun.
365 days ago today, warm tears of anxiety and fear ran down my cheeks as the doctors quickly prepared me for the surgery. All I could do was keep my gaze on Stuart, who calmly assured me all was well without saying a word.
365 days ago, as I lay on the table aware that I was being surgically opened, I had (literally) never been so terrified in my entire life. It's like something out of a horror movie. Really. If you missed the details that landed us here, read G's birth store here.
365 days ago, when the doctors finally delivered the 5 pound G-baby, I had never been so relieved, and elated, in my entire life. This amount of enthusiasm and excitement is impossible to write into words.
365 days ago, I got to see the look in my husbands eyes as he saw his daughter for the first time. It was the happiest look I have ever seen. And because I am an emotional brain-fart, all I could do was cry. Go figure.
365 days ago, my baby took her first breaths. Is there a better sound in this world than hearing your newly born baby cry?!
365 days ago was the first time I understood what people meant when they said, “You'll never understand until you have a child of your own…”. They were right.
Sure, it involved a big belly. And swollen feet. And heartburn. And weird veins in my legs. And a scar. And a catheter (bleh). And lots and lots of needles.
But I would do it one billion times over to have this little wee one in my life.
Happy 1st Birthday to my sweet little stinker. Who I love so much it's impossible to comprehend. I pray that we would be blessed with many years together, that Stuart and I might prepare her as an arrow to send forth for the Lord.
Okay, now I'm getting all choked up.
Okay, now I'm crying.
Happy birthday, my love.