Sure, there are far more productive things I could be doing than scanning through the photo archives on my computer. But as I sat scrolling through pages of photos last night, a grave sense of mortality rushed over me. The time of mine and Stuarts wedding has passed, never to return. We have already been blessed with having our first child, never again will we experience that wonder in the same way. Our baby has grown quickly from a squishy, nursing babe to an independent and strong-willed toddler.
Memories have been made and are just as easily made part of our past.
Memories like this one.
And this one.
And this one.
Isn't it just astouding how time, truly, will stand still for no one. Even if I beg the Lord to stop time in it's tracks so I can savor the present, surely enough, it shall continually pass.
But yet, I still wish to savor. I want to remember the smell, feel, and quirks of Georgia at this age. I want to remember this time of schooling for Stuart and struggles we have faced already together as a young married couple.
Even the ‘stuff' we have filled our home with will surely be lost at some point, making way for ‘new and improved' stuff. I still want to remember it though. Because the time that is now, will never be again.
And yes, if you were wondering, I'm super over emotional at the moment. It's called PMS, it's a disease, and I've got a bad case of it. Sorry, but it's true. Just ask the poor other women in my small group – they got to see this said disease in action yesterday as I proceeded to have an emotional meltdown during prayer requests.
On certain days I can look at these pictures will pure joy, though today, they also bring me sadness for times past.
Sadness and joy, really.
Sadness, and joy, and thankfulness.
Drenched in PMS.
Pray for me.