Maybe it's because I'm sitting here on my couch, scratching my large belly, enjoying the fresh autumn air that is drifting in through the open door…
Maybe it's because I just reviewed my testimony, part one and two I wrote on here awhile ago and figured I can't be exposed anymore than I already have been…
Or maybe it's because I just finished eating a ridiculously good Satsuma… only to quickly move on to the sea salt chocolate hidden in my freezer…
But whatever it is, reader, I feel that we've reached that point in our relationship.
The point where I humble myself, strip off the mask that's so easy to put up on these ‘ol blogs (and rightfully so) and really expose a piece of myself for the world to see.
Let's take a quick step back for a moment.
As most of you know, my loving readers, I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with my second little munckin. As I near the end of this journey, I can't help but feel…
…thoughtful?
…nostalgic?
…overwhelmed?
Feel. I just feel.
I was doing math in my head this morning (always a bad idea) as I was trying to work out Stuart's days-off once the baby arrives. And I'll be danged if it just didn't slap me upside the head how quickly this all could happen.
More so than we realize.
You see, I have a condition.
Yes, a bon-a-fide condition.
The technical term is uterus didelphys.
Allow me to post a possibly incorrect definition from Wikipedia:
Uterus didelphys (sometimes also uterus didelphis) represents a uterine malformation where the uterus is present as a paired organ as the embryogenetic fusion of the mullerian ducts failed to occur. As a result there is a double uterus with two separate cervices. Each uterus has a single horn linked to the ipsilateral fallopian tube that faces its ovary.
Basically, what this means is that I have two full size uterus (uteri? uteruses?). Each uterus is connected to only one fallopian tube (instead of the typical two tubes to one uterus). I also have two cervixes (cervixi? cervices?).
And yes, before you even ask, that means I get to have twice the pap-fun at my annual exams.
But beyond the strange ability to carry children in either the right or left uterus (which I admit can make for some wonderful dinner conversation), this condition also comes with the increased risks during pregnancy.
When I was younger, I used to cry and cry over it – so afraid that I wouldn't be able to conceive and carry a child. God has been so good to us though – we're one of those couples that just has to think about getting pregnant, and wham-bam.
Did I just cross a line?
Sorry.
During my first pregnancy, I was still very nervous about the condition (and very thankful a midwife was willing to see me despite it). Would I miscarry? Would I be able to carry full term? Would the baby have enough room and fluid? Would I be able to deliver without damaging the other uterus in some way? What if the baby somehow got stuck between the two birth canals?
You know how a woman's mind can work at times. It's downright destructive.
And as a friend lovingly reminded me a few weeks back “You'll never find grace from God for your imagination.” How true this spoke to my heart! God gives me enough grace to get me through what He has placed before me. If I try and seek His grace for all the ‘what-ifs' and all the trials that I'm not currently facing (even if I may face them in the future), I'm not going to find it.
Because what I've been given is for now. For the present.
All that to say, as disappointed as I was that Georgia was breech, I knew that it was a likely possibility for her (there is a much higher rate of breech babies born to woman with my reproductive set-up). And I was very relieved when we had no other complications. And when we made it to full term. What a relief!
Yet I still find those familiar nervous feelings creeping up again this go-round.
I know I'm still at a higher-risk for preterm labor. My Doctor seems undaunted by it. He carefully reassures me that we'll just take a peek at things and keep a close eye on them until all signs are a ‘go'. He reminds me to take it easy these last few weeks and let my body do it's thang.
Easier said than done though, no? At least the taking it easy part. I'm happy to let my body do what it wishes.
Currently, it wishes to carry the baby in a strange position though. When I stand, my belly looks like a normal pregnancy belly. But when I sit, the baby's body quickly protrudes to the right side of my belly (the baby is in the right uterus). Sometimes at night, I lay on my left side so that gravity can pull the baby to the middle of my gut and give the right side some relief.
It's weird, isn't it?
I kinda think it is.
I find myself pulling and pushing on the baby's bottom to try and convince it to hang out in the middle, instead of off to the side.
It doesn't really work, but still.
The Lord just made me special in this way. Not many women get to have two pap-smears done at a time. Bah ha ha.
Regardless of how many reproductive organs I've been blessed with, I am so thankful that we've reached the milestone in yet another pregnancy where we're starting to feel more at peace with the the result of the situation, should anything happen.
I think every Mother can relate to the comfort of reaching the “If the baby is born now, it will be most likely be okay” stage.
Not that I want it to be born now. It still very much needs those seven weeks to grow and develop.
And I still need to get ready! There is nipple cream to make! And breast pads to order! And a nursery to get put together! And a hospital bag to prepare!
What an exciting time! Seriously. This is incredibly wonderful.
By the way, I'm sorry for talking about girly-parts, birth canals, nipple cream, and pap-smears all in one post. I'm sure that was a lot to handle on a Friday morning.
And all that to say, I do covet your prayers my dear readers…that this baby would make it to the finish line of this pregnancy without complication.
Even though this condition does bring with it some risk, I trust in a sovereign God. A God who is always at work in all things.
Which may, for some of us, include two uteri.
The end.
Prayers sent to the Big Guy on your behalf. I can only imagine what it is like to know you have this condition but realize that it is out of your hands. Our God is so great though, so I hope you can find a bit of peace in that. You’re almost there!
I have never heard of this before, but thank you for trusting the Lord enough to put it out here and ask for prayers. I do pray for you and your family as you prepare for the arrival of your second little! He is able to do way more than you ever could imagine! Blessings to you!
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I sure hope you got a hold of some good SWEET satsumas! Arent they just wonderful? I made jelly (or jam or preserves or something) with some last season. I want to make some juice for my 1 yo this season.
Have you considered seeing a Chiro for your baby’s position? Some specialize in pre natal and pediatrics. When my 1 yo was born, I was planning a natural birth and it ended in a Cesarean. This time,I really want to see a Chiro and make sure this baby is positioned right. I am also hoping for a VBAC. Just a suggestion 🙂
Praying for you Shaye, the Lord is so good to us. He knows exactly what He wants to do with your little family. Lots of love from California!
Praying for you….
God will use your honesty 🙂
You’re awesome.
Wow…never heard of anything like that before! And no worries about the girly-parts discussion. You talk about even the most potentially awkward things with such humor (and yes, grace) that it’s not weird at all. 🙂
Thanks for being so open with us. This is pretty amazing. God’s pretty amazing. And so are you! 🙂
I HAVE heard of this before! It was actually in relation to a woman who bore two children, conceived at different times, at once. If I remember right, her first was born when her second was 3 months old. I think this is amazing–two uteruses. Im sure that there are more complexities than I am aware of, but let this just be a reminder to you, as it was to me, and hopefully to everyone else, that tears wasted in worry serve no purpose. Thank you for sharing, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
And I think Chiro would be a wonderful thing for you, regardless of baby’s side/positioning since your back has been hurting. There are gentle ones, almost more like a massage, than a pop and cracker like I remember from childhood. I doubt if you go you will regret it. It is worth the money.
I meant, her first was born, when her second was 3 mos gestation.
Thank you for this showing up on my news feed. My daughter has what you described and I had no idea there was a name for it
Your statement of faith brings tears to my eyes. I have a 6 month old daughter and I have to pray to get relief from the “what ifs.” I’ll be praying for you and your baby. 🙂
I have a t-shaped uterus with a septum, so my uterus is effectively split in half. Also causes issues with my pregnancies, And ive miscarried four due to implantation issues. I am also pregnant with my third! (18 weeks!) hoping all goes well for both of us! I had an abrubption with my last one second before she was born because my condition caused a deformity with my placenta. Keep the faith, know He can do ANYTHING- all of my babies were and are impossible miracles. Going for our second Unassisted homebirth (kind of- I am a midwife so does that still technically count lol?) this July. 🙂
Have you ever read supernatural childbirth by Terri Mize? It’s an incredible bible based book on God’s promises pertaining to becoming a mom. Just a thought. Wanted to share w you some wisdom that changed my life. Your blog is a blessing to me. It has inspired me to start my own farm and I am a month behind you with my third child.
Awesome! Congratulations!
Shaye, I never realized the risks with double uteri (?). I did, however, know twins in elementary school who were born a few months apart because their mom had this same condition. That was the coolest thing I ever heard for many many years. I’ve lived with a different, but chronic condition since I was pre-school aged. It also threatened my being able to become pregnant, live through it and then to carry full term. My son truly is my personal gift from God. God does work for us, blessing us in all things! If I have lapses of steadfastness, all I have to do is look at my beautiful son.
Dearest Shaye,
I came upon your blog due to a quest to accurately bake using whole grain & home ground organic flours…most of my baking has been sad due to changing ingredients (aka doing what I felt was nutritionally best). Then I came upon this beautiful blog. I too have a uterine condition & don’t talk about it much. Rarity and discomfort regarding the issue keep me from celebrating the information with others. I admire women that chose to live out loud & celebrate their trials & victories with zeal & Love. Thank you for sharing your intimate story here. I recently moved from Southern California to Eastern Washington. How serendipitous to find out that you live in the same state. I came upon this blog tonight & see from your pictures that your journey turned out just wonderful with another blessing child, God is good indeed! I am excited to buy your cookbook and follow your blog.
Love from the outskirts of Colfax, WA
Hanaholly
I have a unicorniate uterus. Thankfully I now have three beautiful children. I too used to cry and worry about being able to have children. I found out at 13 years old.
I spent all three pregnancies on bedrest, but despite that they were born at 34, 37 and 31 weeks gestation. It’s interesting to hear that someone else has a unique shape and understands the lopped sided pregnancy belly. Thank you for sharing.