You know what I like?
As C.S. Lewis noted:
We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful.
As my friend Angela often asks “Where have all the cowboys gone?” Read THIS incredible post of hers and see what I mean.
I hope to raise Owen (as Angela also states) to be “Strong, courageous, Godly and dare I say… a bit wild. Go on Man Cub.”
I'll leave you with this advertisement, for blue jeans of all things. Stuart and I found it quite amusing that even their creative campaign directors took notice of society's modern-day-men:
Lauren
might want to check that first picture you posted….it comes up on my comp as something I don’t think you are going for….
Shaye @ The Elliott Homestead
Thank you, Lauren! My husband caught it this morning. Turns out my picture of Bear Grylls wasn’t actually a picture of Bear Grylls…yikes. Definitely not what I was going for – thanks for the heads up.
Danielle
Agreed! Hooray the manly men!!!
Teresa, a sinner, saved by Grace through Jesus Christ!
Absolutely love that ad! I would love to share it…
Emily
Love this! Made me so thankful for my man. Will be praying as you guys raise your little guy!
Anonymous
Beware of stereotyped gender roles.
Noël McNeil
To say that I love this would be a HUGE understatement! I was ‘amen-ing’ you the whole time. I too am married to a manly man – one that could rival bear grylls(I think so anyway). I too want to raise my son to be a man. And even more, I want him to be a Godly man. Lord bless you and…Amen sister!
Sarah A.T.J.
Not entirely sure how I feel about this post. I sure love my boys with all my heart and want them to be strong and courageous people as they grow up. However, I want them to be true to themselves and honor THEIR emotions. In my mind, a “traditional” man isn’t able to do this. I want my boys to know they don’t have to always be brave and strong men, I want them to be able to cry and express themselves, to feel and understand their pain and sadness. I think too often we require men to be the stoic leader of the household and this can put great strain on them. In my opinion, women AND men should be able to feel and accept a full range of emotions.
We’re done having children but I hope I would be able to say the same thing if I had daughters: I want all my children to have a backbone, to be strong, active, and opinionated, to be warriors. I don’t think we should assign those words to boys and men only. And I don’t think I want my boys to be “traditional” men. I want them to be emotional, expressive, curious, wild, vibrant, and true.
I’m sure I’m reading far too much into your words! But a traditional man makes me think of one who cannot cry, who must remain a rock for others, who is not seen as a “fatherly” and devoted husband, someone who must always be tough.
This is the kind of blog post that makes me want to talk more to the author and really understand the meaning! Thanks for making me think!
Anonymous
To Sarah: God made men to be tough and fight for us and to lead and love us, but that doesn’t mean that they are to be “emotional”. We women have enough emotion for the both of us. I would go crazy if my husband was “emotional”. If they cry I want it to be over an ungodly situation and to let it drive them to justice and to drive them to fight! Not wallow in self pity as we are allowing boys to do these days. Our boys are being raised by mommas and not allowed to be toughened up by dad. Step back mom when dad’s discipline seem too harsh. They need it.
Amen Shaye preach on sista. I want to see more men in this world.
Lisa
thisfertileground.com
I love this post. Not because I think all men have to be biting the heads off of fish or some such craziness. But because men should be equipped with the skills and the strength to care for their families and should be strong and courageous as God made them to be. Sure, they will all be different and unique – but the type of men that our society seems to be creating are living with their parents until their 35, unable to provide, and lacking the skills necessary to care for themselves or a family. So yeah, I love this.
Anonymous
I agree with Shaye! And LISA! A man crying and focusing on his pain instead of his family and God is a man not fulfilling the role God created him to be, but rather the role his mother/the world/whoever convinced him to be. I think far too often, women give men the emotional boundaries that they themselves want, and it, in turn, creates an emotional mess of a man not fit to lead and support his family. Again, Gods design. I love my beasty man. And I have seen him cry.
Lauren
wow, totally with you. MAN. Men. Manly men. Bear cubs….so glad and blessed to be having one. And I love beards too. Alex was working a job this weekend for which he had to shave. I seriously get sad when he takes breaks from the beard dept. I admit, I do help him with the brows…but uni’s aren’t so hot. ; D Love the jeans quote.
Jenifer
DANG GIRL! You hit this one on the head! I love a mans man too!
Meagan Visser
Great post, and I totally agree. My man is a manly man, and he knows I like it! ;P I think this is something that’s been lost in our society… or it’s quickly slipping away, and I for one want to do my part in restoring it by raising my three boys to me a man’s man! That’s for the awesome graphic!
Isabelle Goyer
Ohhh Yessssssss!!! This world needs more MEN!!!
Cha
Me, too. Manly men give us women the possibility of being feminine.
Though I’ve also known to be a sucker for androginity. Sounds contradicitive – but somehow possible.
Congrats on both your children and THANKS YOU for this blog!
Just thinking….. When feeding a baby at night , wouldn’t you want to use “middle of the night feedings (as) a wonderful chance to have some uninterrupted time learning” about your baby rather than a silly TV show?! I mean, feeling what a baby needs, building a bond to that little person that goes beyond “I love him” and becomes knowing.
I spent some time in Laos with 3 babies around – the longest I heard one cry was 12 seconds (yes, I counted).
There is a reason why in some cultures babies aren’t just put down do lie somewhere for a while but always carried around, talked to, looked at, or when asleep rocked in a hammock.
The easiest way of making your son a man might be to let him grow up a healthy person with a strong sense of self – something that is developed within the first years of life. Later it can be important to remember that Boys DO cry. And they should be allowed to. First let it out and THEN go wrestle with grizzlies/snakes/life. It’s not a good idea to try and mold children into emotionally incompetent adults – a lot of problems come from people not having learnt to first recognize their emotions and then deal with them…
Like Sara I wonder what exactly you meant – I would really like to talk to you since your blog is inspiring and wonderful and you seem like a very interesting person. But, sadly, this comment will have to make do.
I wish you a lot of strength, supporting people around you and God’s help.
Just… Beware of gender roles and what damage they can do. No offence intended!
Hope your new home is great!
yours,
Charly
Peter
I don’t think you understand manhood at all. There’s alpha men, betas, omegas and such, but who are you to judge their value as human beings based on how “manly” they are? Each one has their place and purpose in life and it’s not for you to decide their worth, or lack thereof.
Shaye Elliott
Agreed. It’s the Lord’s values that are important and it is His judgement that is important as well.
Kristen
I know this is an old post but it’s more relevant than ever. I have always said this! Amen Sister!