Shaye Elliott
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Lessons from my Mother in femininity.

May 10, 2013 - 14 Comments

Let me start out by saying that I love my Mother. Dearly. And Mother's Day, naturally, causes me to reflect on all the wonderful lessons I've learned that wonderful woman in my life. And for kicks, I thought I'd share my parents wedding photo:

scan0001

Teehee. So young.

Having a good laugh at my Dad's expense (a white suit Dad?!) is not the point of this post. My sweet, feminine, loving, maternal, and rockin' Mother is.

She'd be mortified if she knew I was writing a blog post on her. Sorry, Mom. It's the nature of the biznass. And truthfully, the post isn't really about her, but it is about an impact she has had on me. A specific impact with regard to femininity and dressing like a woman.

milk maid cropped

Truth be told, I've been known to dress manly-esque. It tends to be the nature of farm life – jeans, muck boots, flannels, etc. And dare I say, some days I even find myself dressing in the inevitable-dress of our culture: sloppy bun, yoga pants, tank top, no makeup, no attention to personal hygiene. Eeek. But while watching Edwardian Farm on YouTube over the past few days (or anytime I read The Parisienne Farmgirl who seriously knows how to rock some traditional, modest fashion), I find myself constantly drawn to the wear of the woman at the time. What appealed to me most was the femininity that it expressed.

My Mom is that way.

Not that she doesn't wear jeans or anything like that, but she always looks so feminine. Soft. Pretty. If she wears a flannel she rocks some beautiful earrings and lipstick. Know what I'm sayin'?

She always does her hair. Always has her makeup done. Always brushes her teeth. Always looks put together.

Now please hear me: I'm not here to say that we should all wear Edwardian period clothing and all have to wear makeup. I hope that's not what you hear.

I just think I'm discovering, for myself, dressing more feminine and putting myself together can really make a difference in my day.

I have been making an effort to get out of bed before the kids, taking extra time to wash my face, put on my makeup, getting fully dressed, and pulling my hair out of my face before the day begins (instead of waiting till late morning to get on top of it). I've also been wearing some of my sun dresses, along with some sweet new aprons a reader sent me, now that the weather is welcoming to them. I cannot believe the wonderful affect this has on my attitude.

I feel like I'm on top of the day, instead of the day being on top of me.

My Mom was very much this way. Except for Saturdays, I hardly remember her not being ready by the time we woke up.

I think it is an important topic to be addressed because without a doubt, how we dress affects how we feel. And ideally, I'd like to feel organized, put together, and womanly.

DSC_0044

After spending a few minutes in a local thrift store, I walked away with two pretty new skirts for $7.50. I didn't find any of the long, jersey fabric ones like I was hoping for, but I think it's a good start to a skirt collection none-the-less.

Now that summer is here, I'd love to try and find a few more skirts and sundresses to wear around the farm. Ones like this or this. It's a great alternative to shorts, which I despise. I'll blame it on the Scandanavian-white-thighs that moosh out of them whenever I sit down. Skirts hide the moosh. I like that.

Plus, they're just as cute with BOGS as they are with dress sandals.

Worn easily to milk the cow in…

…or garden in…

…or wear to a social gathering. Just cute, all the way around.

I also can appreciate the modesty of a longer skirt. I may sound old-fashioned for saying this, but I can't understand how the shorts they sell at stores now-a-days can even be considered shorts. They are underwear. Let's not fool ourselves. I heard a quote the other day that said “Dress as you would want other woman to dress around your husband.” I like that standard.

But this isn't a debate on modesty, proper dress, or old-fashioned regulations – strictly from a personal standpoint, I enjoy feeling like a woman. And beautiful skirts and feminine dresses help me to feel that way.

I also love that many of them enhance the womanly figure. We were blessed with hips, curves, and waists – it's exciting to see that enhanced rather than shoved into a pair of skinny jeans like some sort of sausage.

Stuart thinks I may be watching too much Edwardian Farm.

I say that there are wonderful things to be learned from the past. Perhaps how woman cared for themselves, and took pride in their femininity, can be one of those things our culture revives.

Now. The real question has become How can I convince my Mother to sew me up some long skirts? It is, of course, partly her fault I began this femininity business in the first place. She's such a gem. A beautiful, feminine gem.

I love that about her.

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Comments:

  1. Donika Engstrom

    May 10, 2013 at 7:51 am

    My mother is the same…always pulled together, made up, sweetly scented, even if it’s just to weed the garden or check the mail! Growing up I heard a constant litany of “Ladies don’t sit like that,” “Ladies don’t talk with food in their mouths,” etcetera. I guess it was because my older sister was such a tomboy I was her last hope! I guess it stuck, because I’ve always made the effort to look my best whenever possible. It may not include makeup, but my hair will be done and my clothes are clean and coordinated and hopefully I smell good. My husband laughs at me for “getting dolled up” when we aren’t even leaving the house, but I know that he appreciates the effort I take on my appearance.

    Reply
  2. Steph

    May 10, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Such perfect timing to read this article!! My mom has been trying for YEARS to get me to dress more feminine. I was very athletic growing up, and I guess my attire now that I am a wife & mom has not adjusted accordingly šŸ™ (athletic capris/pants, shirts, messy ponytail-ick!) I have 2 little girls who LOVE to wear pretty skirts & dresses and like to feel girly. Truth be told, it is a pretty good feeling! So I have been thinking I need to dress more feminine to be a good example for not only them, but my little boy as well-I would love for them all to know their mom as someone who was put together and feminine, as how I knew mine. I RARELY ever saw my mom not without her hair & makeup done, even if she was in workout clothing to exercise in. Thanks for the reminder, I need to go shopping! šŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. Laura

    May 10, 2013 at 11:25 am

    “We were blessed with hips, curves, and waists – it’s exciting to see
    that enhanced rather than shoved into a pair of skinny jeans like some
    sort of sausage.”
    You just made my day! And possibly my week! Thank you!

    Reply
  4. Noƫl McNeil

    May 10, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Shaye your too much! Are you in my mind or something? I’ve been on a skirt/dress hunt for months now and it’s hard to find what I want. I am a jeans kind of girl. And I second Laura- that quote she commented on is awesome! I’m a curvy girl (think Shakira) and shorts on me aren’t good.

    Reply
  5. Ginny Poole

    May 11, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    The Edwardian Farm…I found it on YouTube (I don’t have tv.) LOVE IT! šŸ™‚

    When I was going through school (that makes me sound soooo old!!), I had to wear skirts/dresses – it was a private Christian school. Now, I don’t wear them so much – jeans, t-shirt, flops/tennis, ponytail. I hardly wear makeup. I’d rather be getting dirty w/the guys than going to social events – always kinda been that way. However, I do recognize my feminine side and answer her call (I have been known to work a chicken house w/false fingernails.) Even though I wear my nastiest clothes for work, I always wear perfume.

    Reply
    • Maggie

      August 24, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      perfume is full of toxic chemicals….

      Reply
  6. Kendra P

    May 13, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    I went through this exact thing about a year ago, lol. Target has some super cute maxi dresses, but they’re pretty expensive in my book. I might put one on my birthday list though šŸ˜‰ I agree with you… putting makeup on, fixing your hair just a tad, and dressing like you care about how you look really makes a difference in your day, and even your attitude (especially with your husband and children). I find I’m in such a better mood when I start off feeling like I look good. It really takes an effort for me to get up and be ready before the kids do, though. I need to be better about doing that šŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Regina

      May 14, 2013 at 9:18 am

      I agree, they have to be up & on the school bus by 6:20am which for me is a stretch in PJ’s. But, you ladies have inspired me to give it a go.

      Reply
  7. Regina

    May 14, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Ditto, we recently moved to the farm life & I dearly love wearing my “prairie skirts” with muck boots outside for chores and flip flops inside. The skirts hide my aging German legs, while accentuating my narrow waist and feminine form, and even better they move in the light breeze helping to keep me cool in our hot Georgia Summer.

    Reply
  8. Sarah O'Neal Macri

    August 12, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    Love this! Interestingly enough, this was my goal this summer (and accomplished it!) and all of the changes you mention make such a difference!

    Reply
  9. Jane

    May 19, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    Loved your post! I love the way that old fashioned dress often comes with old fashioned values, hard work, honesty and respect, to name only a few.

    Reply
  10. Milton Elliott

    July 21, 2017 at 12:37 am

    Where is your Elliott homestead? Ours was in Camden, AK.

    Reply
    • Shaye Elliott

      July 21, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      We are in North Central WA.

      Reply
  11. Tara

    March 5, 2022 at 12:18 pm

    You’re my kind of girl… the Good Lord made me a lady, and I love to be most like a lady and least looking like my husband as possible…plus dresses are just gorgeous on any girl, I don’t care who you are or what shape or size, if you have a dress or skirt on, you glow all the brighter!

    Reply

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