I want to make one thing very, very, very clear.
I believe, with each ounce of my being, that God is good. In all things. And even when circumstances seem insurmountable… overwhelming… suffocating… God is not only at work, but he is working all of these circumstances for His purpose and for His glory for those who love him.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
It's one of the deepest joys of the Christian belief, really. After all, how does one deal with pain in this world without such an understanding of this truth? Without belief in a God who is good through all things, life would be, well, insurmountable, overwhelming, and suffocating.
But even with knowledge of this goodness and with complete trust in the Lord's purpose and plan there are no doubt moments when the pain of life seems too great to bear.
For the past few months, our family has been fervently praying for a dear friend of ours who was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Knowing her family so closely and watching them endure this difficult road has been hard. What can one even say to offer sincere support and love during such a challenging time?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry seem to be the only words that can offer any sort of meaning.
After all, this family is a Christian family. They too hold onto the hope that even through dark valleys the Lord is accomplishing great things. They know that the Lord loves them. They know that He will give them the strength, peace, endurance, and grace needed to endure this road. They know that we are here for them. They know that this is the Lord's will. And while I'd love to fill out a card with comforting words, I know that they know these things already. I'm not totally convinced that's what they need to hear.
For the past few weeks, we (me and Sally Belle… milking is my prayer time) have been praying heavily for another friend of ours that was suffering with an undiagnosed illness. We prayed fervently for his recovery – and prayed for a quick one at that (after all, his wedding date was weeks away).
And while we were enduring the plague last week (and feeling quite sorry for ourselves at that), we received word from his family that he had been diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer. He's turned twenty five years old the next day.
I sobbed. Not for me, obviously. And not even really for him, though my heart ached for the path he must travel (though as a Christian, it brings great joy to trust in the Lord's promise for our souls that will rest with Christ eternally).
Instead, I prayed, and cried, and prayed again for those on this road with him. For his fiance. For his Mom. For his sisters. For his friends. For all of those people who love him so much that life without him may seem impossible. For those that are having to endure a dark, deep, scary valley. For those that mourn even the idea of a day without him.
And, again, the only words of comfort I can muster: I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.
I'm so, so sorry that this is a burden you are having to bear.
A fellow Christian and friend phrased circumstances such as this as “deeply hard Divine Providence” which I think is a beautiful phrasing of such hardships.
In theology, divine providence, or providence, is God's intervention in the world. “Divine Providence” (usually capitalized) is also used as a title of God. A distinction is usually made between “general providence”, which refers to God's continuous upholding the existence and natural order of the universe, and “special providence”, which refers to God's extraordinary intervention in the life of people. SOURCE
It's not that God isn't in these burdened lives – it's not as if he's shunned his followers, fails to love them, or is punishing them for their sin. The Lord not only perfectly ordered it to be this way, at this very moment, but He is with them through these valleys.
And that brings me great hope. And I know it brings great hope to these families.
I must admit, my days are still tearful. Though they're not always tears of sadness.
Many days, they're tears of rejoicing. Rejoicing that there is a God out there who loves us so desperately, as shown in the death and resurrection of Christ, that even in the lowest of moments here on earth we can still radically feel His goodness.
Regardless of what lay ahead for both of our dear friends, we can completely rest in the truth that God loves us, delights to forgive us of our sins, and is always working for the good of those whom love him. Praise God!
krista Odermann
February 27, 2014 at 10:59 pmPlease share this book with your friends. Its life changing. Its impossible to read and not be affected for the better.
http://www.amazon.com/More-Excellent-Way-Be-Health/dp/1603741011/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=14Y6HDPPYAPFPP1TRKKM
Delia
February 27, 2014 at 11:26 pmI will certinally be joining you in prayer. Thank you for sharing the truth of Gods goodness.
Malerie
February 28, 2014 at 6:34 amYes.
Jenn
February 28, 2014 at 7:02 amThis is why I love you and your blog. I love your passion about all things in life, whether it’s God, love for God’s people, or homesteading. I have learned so much from you and even though I am not even close to being a homesteader yet, I am a person who loves Jesus with a fierceness that only another Christian would understand. I will pray for your friends. I will pray for you to help your friends however they need help.
Love, Jenn
Maggie
February 28, 2014 at 7:21 amI’ve added both of them to our prayer group.
Christine @ Once Upon a Time in a Bed of Wildflowers
February 28, 2014 at 7:26 amYes.
Jaimie Ramsey
February 28, 2014 at 7:35 amYes. Praying.
Thank you for this beautiful witness of your faith. <3
Shirley
February 28, 2014 at 7:51 amPraying
Jodi Strassheim
February 28, 2014 at 8:05 amWill be praying for all of the people and their loved ones. Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse! I guess my life verse. Thanks for such an open, beautiful post.
Randi
February 28, 2014 at 9:12 amI’m praying Shaye.
Ali
February 28, 2014 at 11:07 amHi. I’m so sorry. I know it’s been so hard.
I agree with you…. God is GOOD…. all the time.
I’m going to reply twice. First I will say that our youngest son stopped walking in May of 2012. And to make a long story short…. God healed our son of advanced Legg Calve Perthes Disease overnight…. just from us declaring the Word of God over him and having faith…. even as a mustard seed. So you’d better know that we know firsthand…. God is good. It’s heartwrenching when your child stops walking and tries to drag himself on the floor and looks to you asking why. It’s heartwrenching to see him in a wheelchair and to see an xray that says the top of his femur is almost gone. And it’s PURE JOY to say this…. Jesus bore not only our sins, but our diseases. By His stripes we WERE healed. I will pray for your friends… and more than that…. I’ll pick up the Sword and speak the eternal, true and powerful Word over them.
Now I’ll post again. Ali in IL <
Ali
February 28, 2014 at 11:22 amI had written a really long thing… explaining how much research I had done and some things I learned when our son was younger… and then I hit the wrong dumb button and lost it.
So let me say this…. there are many natural treatments for cancer. My own dad was given six mos. and he went home and cured himself with hydrogen peroxide. I’m going to put a couple of articles below. I’ve found soooooooooooo many studies on tree barks and berries and seaweeds and leaves of plants that caused apoptosis (self destruction of cells) of cancer it’s just awesome…. cause God is awesome. He made these things. I have a system for hunting out medical studies….. here’s my email if someone wants it…. [email protected]
The people I’ve known with cancer who did what the docs said sadly didn’t fare well. Our little guy would have died had we done what we were told to on more than one occasion. I wish it wasn’t that way…. but it was/is.
But truly…. there are sooooooooo many wonderful natural things that actually target cancer cells. Research! Change your diet appropriately. Heal! And of course beyond all of this…. is prayer and sticking to the Word of God.
Many Blessings, Ali in IL <
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2004/02/18/sugar-cancer-part-three.aspx
http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2012/december/starving-cancer-ketogenic-diet-a-key-to-recovery/
Kaymer
February 28, 2014 at 7:24 pmI know you get lots of ideas for how to ‘cure’ cancer. I know this because I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2006 and have had 3 recurrences since then. I have heard all the different cures. The Lord healed me of the first recurrence. For the second I was given chemo, but it didn’t last. When it came back a third time I believe God led me to a medical clinic that is having very good results for ovarian cancer patients. I didn’t want any more chemo and was not given a very rosy outlook for prognosis. However, I went to this clinic in August and have have since halted the growth of the cancer. These doctors have an MD on staff but mostly use Naturopathic methods. They figure out WHY you have cancer — what imbalances in your body allow cancer to grow. Then they work to get your body back in balance. (among other things) Ovarian cancer is supposed to be incurable. I have a letter from a doctor telling me that. But I am actually kicking its butt! 🙂 This clinic will also NOT necessarily tell you to abandon your current medical intervention, such as chemo. It could be that you still need that, but at this clinic you get so many more ways to fight it. The founder of this clinic is an ovarian cancer survivor of twenty years. Friend me first, then message me if you want more info. I don’t know how to read messages from non-friends. sorrry. I have done all my appointments with my doctor there (after the first one) on the phone, supported by lab results.
Sue
March 1, 2014 at 1:58 pmThank you for sharing this story. I also have two friends dealing with cancer. I never know what to say or do, but continue to pray because god does know what to do for all involved. God bless your efforts on this blog!
Jamie
March 2, 2014 at 9:31 amHi, Shaye.
I was given your book for a birthday present this last fall and found your blog shortly after that. You have inspired me to start drinking raw milk, grinding my own wheat and truly committing to a beautiful, natural lifestyle. I’m really grateful for all that I’ve learned from your example. I had to comment on this post because coincidentally Cesar is also an acquaintance of mine! Actually, his fiancee was a college roommate of mine and has been one of my best friends for the past eight years. It’s oddly comforting to know that you too, someone I don’t know but who has encouraged me to make some wonderful life changes, are out there praying for my dear friend and her family.
Shaye Elliott
April 3, 2014 at 3:58 pmGlad to have you here, Jamie.
Susanne
May 24, 2019 at 3:16 amSo true. Life is hard but God IS in control. I clicked the link for this post when the title caught my eye after reading today’s post (5/23/19). Obviously, this was written years ago but it met me today. We lost our oldest son 7 months ago. He died 2 weeks before his 20th birthday from side effects of cancer and chemo. Oh…what a painful journey! I still cry everyday. It’s just a deep raw wound that hurts. But God…He is faithful to bring joy in the midst of pain, to surround us with loving friends and family who, although they don’t’ know what to say ’cause there really aren’t right words, they are there and are grieving with us, and comforting us and showing love that points to a loving God. Because regardless of what it looks like to us, God IS loving, IS in control, IS working all for His good and glory. It is such a comfort to know this and to experience it first hand.
Thank you for sharing your heart in such a beautiful way.