I can only assume that the Lord wanted me to retell this story in a different way because the ‘Publish' button I struck earlier today resulted in a completely lost birthing story that was approximately 1,592,492 words long. Let's pretend like I totally kept my cool and didn't slam the laptop shut and shuffle off (hey, I can't walk very well yet!) to the bathroom to weep and weep and weep.
It took a lot out of me to write this birthing story. Recounting the events… the moments… the emotions. And because we're pretending, we'll also pretend like I totally kept my hormones in check while writing said birth story. Like I didn't have tears streaming down my face – tears of joy, and fear, and amazement.
As my birth story told – our God is so, so good!
Late Wednesday night, after a few hours of non-painful but consistent contractions, we went into the hospital per our Doctor's request to be monitored.
Here we are. Ya know. Being monitored:
I would like to point out that our trip into the hospital came at 11:45 p.m. which is (quite obviously) past my makeup wearing time. It's also already a few hours into my normal sleepy time and despite the adrenaline rush of labor and baby birthing, I was so sleepy that I teeter-tottered between reality and dreamland. Even before the drugs were administered. My contractions were so free of pain that when they checked me and I had already dilated an additional 3 cm from earlier in the day, it was even more surreal.
I got the go ahead for an early cesarean. And within just an hour, I was in the operating room with this handsome stud:
I'd like to pretend that I handled this birth without fear. But that's just not the truth. I'm not a strong person apart from the strength that comes from my Lord. And so. I prayed.
I prayed while I was getting my IV and I prayed when I entered the cold, sterile operating room. I prayed when I got my spinal (so freaky!) and when the feeling of numbness began to consume my body. I prayed when I held my husband's hand and saw the concern and love in his eyes.
And when Stuart peeked over the curtain to check the sex of the baby, I prayed when he announced with joy, “We have a William Luke!”
(I didn't believe him until I checked the family jewels myself.)
I prayed for the two minutes that Will left my side to be checked and weighed, after which he was quickly tucked against my breasts, under my gown, where he remained for the rest of the surgery.
I prayed when I saw his beautiful face for the first time. Tears of joy slipped down my cheeks as I craned my neck to keep my eyes on that little man – that precious gift from God – that had just arrived into this world.
William Luke Elliott
4 pounds 14 ounces, 18″ long
August 21st, 2014 3:10 a.m.
We shall call him Will.
My Lord heard my prayers – even the prayers that were made with doubt and fear. Not only did he grant me courage and peace going into this surgery, but he also granted me small gifts that I am so thankful for. Like getting to hold Will instantly and constantly, even while in surgery.
And when Stuart had to head home for morning milking and chores, the Lord allowed me to fellowship with my wonderful nurse for hours as I nursed and held my little one. Those quite moments, in the complete still of the early morning, were so calm. So beautiful.
Our next few days were spent bonding and swooning over this incredible child. All 4 lbs. 14 oz. of him. Little he was, but strong and mighty he is! He came out with a wonderful appetite, the perfect latch, and the sweetest, softest cry.
My heart. My heart is absolutely melted.
There's truly no words to describe the path that is parenthood. I'm surely not naive enough to think that this journey will be one of rainbows and butterflies. We live in a sinful world and are all sinners – I'm a mother of a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old – I know exactly what's in store. And yet still, these incredible landmark moments are treasured. The sweet noises. The wonderful smell of fresh baby. The pouty lips. The teeny fingers and toes.
The desperation in which we pray “Lord, grow him up to be your strong and faithful servant. Teach him to love you, to glorify you, to serve you all of his days. Work in his life your great mission and help him to cling to his Great King all the days of his life.”
He smells of fresh graham crackers and already loves his Mama desperately (trust me, I can tell). It's been the most wonderful five days – having all my children under my wings home on the farm. I almost can't take the unexplainable joy I feel when I look at all of their faces. How did this happen? Why has the Lord chosen to bless me in this way? What tender and wonderful mercies He has shown me in their lives!
I won't pretend like recovery has been easy – the incision is painful and my patience for sitting still is floundering. And as much as I'd like to pick my other children up to cuddle them, I just can't. Not yet.
Slowly, life will get back to normal. Normal life plus baby Will, which is the best life I can imagine.