Sometimes, I've just got to take a step back and admit “I'm not that woman.” As much as I'd like to be, I'm just not.
This time of year, I'm aware of it all the more. While other Mom's are setting up tablescapes and decorating sugar cookies like turkeys, I'm just keepin' my head above water.
Perhaps I should be coordinating my children's holiday clothing or something important like that. But I'm not.
Instead, I'm surviving.
Even though I'll never be the cool crafty Mom, I've come to peace with that. Once I realized that all of us have our special gifts, I felt much more at rest with the fact that we are all different – with different strengths and different weaknesses.
One of my weaknesses has always been events. Ya know. Like the giant Thanksgiving one coming up tomorrow.
I think I'll blame it on having small children. It's like somehow my brain has been sucked from my eyeballs and jello has been inserted bak into the empty skull. Sometimes, I walk into a room, do a few turns around, and realize I not only have no idea why I'm in that room… but I don't even remember what my name is.
Perhaps when my children are older these events will come easier. Perhaps I'll be able to think about things like place settings and wine glasses.
But for the moment, it's sippy cups, poopy diapers, nursing sessions, and… ya know… the general task of surviving winter on the farm.
That being said, we do have a special treat to look forward to: our first homegrown turkey. He was butchered a month ago when we harvested our first batch of meat chickens. He's been residing in our freezer, plucked and ready for his culinary destiny to arise. Today is his day.
Am I going to brine it? Great question.
How am I going to cook it? Even better question.
After all… I am a food blogger – aren't I? Isn't this the kind of thing I'm suppose to thrive on? Menu planning? Cooking up for giant crowds? Devoting all my time and energy to food consumption?
One must remember, however, that my brain has been replaced with jello – as previously stated.
I'm devoting this day to moving slow and intentionally preparing for Thanksgiving tomorrow. After all, there is so very much to be thankful for. Even though we currently have no running water, our floors need to be vacuumed, the laundry is spilling over the edge of the basket, and the mud from outside is tracked all over the linoleum, I think I'll embrace the madness, admit I'm no super-Mom, and confess my need for:
1. Other cool woman (like my Mom and sisters who are collaborating on this grand supper)
2. Homemade eggnog to calm the spirit.
3. Jesus Christ. And all His great mercy and grace!
I'm wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving – whatever that means to you and however that looks for your family!
Even if it's messy. You're here. And the tablescape isn't going to break ya.
And Amen.
Leticia
It is always messy. Your blog is inspiring. Some of my favorite family gathering traditions are the messy ones. Such as disagreeing over the rules of a boardgame. I never remember if the floors are dirty wherever we are, as long as we are in it together. Enjoy your holiday with Love and eachother!
Deborah
Just yesterday I told my husband that finding your site has been a Godsend. I don’t get into farmish things very easily. But I love photography, writing, and down-to-earth reliance on Jesus. Yesterday while my husband and I were traveling, we read your cookbook. I love it!!! We smiled all the way through and and kept saying, “This sounds possible!” My husband (who wishes I loved farming) makes cheese – but then what do you do with all that whey? Your cookbook has all kinds of ideas for it. My favorite part of the book was the list of things to prepare on a regular basis. When I live on a farm with 7yo twins, a 6yo, and a 4yo — and very little culinary talent — collections of random recipes only collect dust on the shelf. I love the way your book presents it as a lifestyle, with routine habits that are much more practical for farm life. After Thanksgiving (after we eat a turkey we butchered Monday), we plan to adopt a SCOBY and try sprouting wheat berries and move the dehydrator out of storage.
You are not only a collection of recipes, either. You’re a relatable person, living this out in a real-life way. Being a mom of little ones is exhausting beyond words. I’m not sure what else to say about that — it’s beyond words. I hope you have a very happy, restful Thanksgiving, with plenty of time to enjoy your family!
Rebecca Smith
I have learned that the one with the most unrealistic expectations of our lives is usually our self. I’m grown with grandchildren now and know that my family loves to come here, not to see the great tablescape that always gets pushed out of the way for the mashed potatoes, or to look at the piping hot turkey that looks like a magazine ad thatgets torn to bits before it gets out of the kitchen, but because they can come here and rest, relax and enjoy each other. All the things I used to fret about that didn’t get done? No one knew except me that they didn’t get done so no more pressure. Is my bed made, the bathroom clean and the floors swept? Good enough. Enjoy your holiday and drink and eggnog for me.
Quinn
You are not alone. I’ve come to terms with surviving and not being crafty and having simple celebrations. I can’t justify days and weeks of stressed out planning and anxiety for a few hours of fancy memories where I’m suddenly transformed from a half-crazed maniac to a sickeningly sweet party faker then back again for clean up. And I’m fine with not being that kind of a mom. I’ve realized where the holiday yoke comes from and it’s not from Jesus cause his burdens are easy & light. Have a lovely Thanks Giving. <3
Cathy
Well said, Quinn. You wrote my feelings exactly xo
Cori
Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks for the life your in right now even if it is poopy and muddy and messy! Don’t stress (easier said than done) my experience is that everyone understands because they know what it’s like too! And does it really matter to God if the feast is PERFECT of even close to it? No way. Fix your eyes on him, you’ve inspired me to do that many times over!
Laura Ferrick
Two of my babies are grown and one will not be home for Thanksgiving tomorrow. The best holidays of my life were full of toddlers, mess, chaos and love. In the midst of it I really did think I would lose my mind and that maybe the Martha police were going to come haul me out of my house. You know, those times were blessings. The kids grow so fast, life is complicated every day and those little people grow up and don’t exist anymore. They grow into adults and just thinking about the little people they were will send you into tears. SO who cares about the laundry, the chores the stain, the dust and mud. The Pope is not coming over and the people who are coming over are there to see and love on you. Make yourself something warm to drink and enjoy this holiday momma. Thanks for the post, it really made my day.
Angela/Parisienne Farmgirl
There is nothing wrong with surviving. We are home tomorrow… no company… no impressing. It’s giving me a chance to really bloom as far as just serving me and mine. I can’t wait to put on a spread just for them and not panic if the toilets aren’t sparkling. Focusing on being thankful.
BTW – I’m thankful for you.
Jess VanBuren
I’ve been reading you’re blog for a month or so (convienently right after we decided to move to Washington, Gods cool like that) and I just wanted to second what I read above. I’m thankful for you, your animals, advice and antics and your honesty in all a life on the farm can be. I can’t wait!
HollyG
Your life sounds a lot like mine, although my boys are 15 and 20 and sippy cups have been replaced by lacrosse sticks and rock climbing gear. Our house is finally done (almost) after a water leak and plumbing replacement ( no water) but the new oak floors are littered with dog hair. It’s probably too late to offer turkey advise, but we brined our first home-grown turkey in salt, sugar, herbs and buttermilk. He was 43 pounds (oops) and fantastic! Good luck tomorrow and Happy Thanksgiving.
Auntie Linda
Sweetie, you’re doing wonderfully! Your life is a joy. Troubles come and go, but you have your little ones and your husband and your family. I’m sure your Thanksgiving meal was delicious, but even more, you are raising your family to rejoice in the food you grow and harvest. So many people do not have that. What you are doing for you, and your family, is awesome.
MamaBear
i think the key is being content with where you are and not worrying about what anyone else is doing. You are also in a different season of life with little ones – i have found so much more time in my day now that the kids are more self reliant. I like how you said everyone has different gifts- mine happen to be more of the creative type, but that doesn’t mean I have everything else figured out….we went through some hard years and are on the other side of that now. If life had always been easy, I don’t know if we’d appreciate how sweet our life is now.
I appreciate your transparency and I wish more mom’s would speak out and be encouraged by other moms!
Liz
I have been there!! I have five children, my youngest is 14. The time you’re in right now, it won’t last forever. I hosted a wonderful thanksgiving dinner yesterday, tablescape and everything! My crafty brain is returning! It is a trade off when kids are little, creativity gets put on the back burner but you will find it again! It is more important to go with your current flow! The nursing, the diapers, the mess-yes I miss it! Cherish the little ones everyday!
Sarah
I just wanted to thank you for all of your honesty! If you think that you are failing as a woman in any way, you would be wrong! You are STRONG, you have beautiful babies and this blog is absolutely amazing! I think you are very inspiring and I try to copy a lot of your ideas at my family homestead! Blog on, Sister!
Shaye Elliott
Thank you for your kind words, Sarah!
Sarah
I’ve been reading your blog since 2013!! I really love the content and the heartfelt emotions!! Also…you are hilarious! Keep it up!
Mary
A heart felt thank you, all the way from Australia.
I too am a survivor, and I reeeaaallly needed to be reminded to take a big breath this holiday season. To not drive myself batty trying to strive for perfection, but to soak up the joy and festivities with my family instead. Living in the moment has always been a challenge for me as I am my worst critique, but not this year – I am only me, and that has always been enough for my husband and my children, this year it’ll be enough for me too!
The blogging world needs more Shays!
Your realism has kept me coming back post after post, and although we live in completely different worlds and completely different lifestyles, there is no mistaking a like-minded individual.
Happy holidays to you!
Susan
Sometimes crafty isn’t all it is cracked up to be. It sometimes adds to the stress of the season. You see everyone wants something homemade and it needs to be wonderful. The meal still has to look like it came out of some kind of magazine and the house needs to look wonderful. We are building so everyone wants a grand tour of our mess and we are always saying we are sorry but we are working in these areas. I love making things but I have 4 quilts that have to be finished before the season and lots of other presents. My grandchildren live with me and my granddaughter(5 1/2) also has all her gifts to make and sew. Yet this is me and this is what I enjoy. There never is enough time when little ones are under your feet. So what you get done gets done and the rest is just life.