There are 2 things that post pregnancy women don't want to talk about. So let's talk about them. Actually, frankly, there's a lot more than 2 (did anyone else's leg hair turn black?!), but for the sake of simplicity, let's at least pick 2 to start. Because a lot of us have been there and a lot of us are there now and A LOT OF US NEED SOME SUPPORT, OKAY?!!?! (Whimper, whimper, whimper).
***Disclaimer to young readers and my husband's students: it's about to get real up in herez. Proceed with caution.***
Post Pregnancy Body
Let's talk about the post pregnancy body. The post pregnancy body that has stretched and grown and delivered four of the little rascals in the last five years (arbitrary numbers, of course). I remember after weaning my third (the fourth is nursing now) my boobs were as flat as fried eggs.
I called my BFF Angela crying. “Angela! My boobs! They're gone! It's like they've caved in on themselves and are starting a rebellion against the rest of my womanly body!”
She's got six kids. She laughed. Girl understands.
But the reality of a post pregnancy body is that it's no longer the pre baby body that we once enjoyed. Smooth legs, free of pesky veins. Boobs that existed. Tighter tummies. Toned arms.
We've traded our youthful glow for age spots and weird randomly curly hairs that show up on our body in places they shouldn't be. Hormones can be a real dog, man (as can those children we spent the better part of a year bringing it to the world, at the sacrifice of…. well, many body parts shall we say). Yet here we are. But what's a girl to do once the pregnancy is over and the post pregnancy body kicks in?
Keepin' It Tight and Right
- Baby lifts: Oh ya baby, feel the burn! The burn in your triceps and biceps that let you know your baby is no longer a baby… but a five year old that insists on being carried uphill to the barn to help check on the rabbits. What's that? Your three year old fell asleep in your arms at church and there are still four hymns to sing before it's time to sit down? Booya. Teeny tiny baby insist on being held and danced around the house to fall asleep? Feel your forearms starting to fall asleep, shoulders aching, back screaming, and wrists cramping? Toddler lifts, baby. Keeping those arms nice and tight. Lift. Set down. Lift. Set down. If your child is prone to falling or otherwise hurting their body in a variety of ways, as my hobbit is, you'll see results quickly (because everyone knows when a little one cries in pain, Mama runs to toddler lift that little one up into her soon-to-be-toned arms). Up. Down. Up. Down. And speaking of up, down, up, down…
- Cleaning lunges: Post-baby booty got ya down? Little extra in the gluteus maximus these days? I feel that. But fear not, because with your baby comes endless opportunities to implement the cleaning lunges. Sippy cups, poopy diapers, towels, toys, books, pacis, blankets… there's simply no end to the awesomeness that will soon be strewn around your floor like a nuclear kidpocolypse. Don't worry – every one will be looking to you to clean up from the kidpocolypse which means you'll have endless opportunities to really get those floors in order and practice the form for your cleaning lunges. Soon, you'll be able crush a skull with those thighs, baby.
- European glamour: How did Americans not get the memo that disheveled hair, neutral makeup, and au-natural beauty is all the rage? Forget bleached hair and fake eyelashes. I'm sure you're well aware at this point that you'll never have time for that after said babies. Lucky for you, keeping it simple and basic is where it's at… assuming, of course, you live somewhere in the European Union. In fact, French women are notorious for actually going out into the wind to get that messy, slept-in hair look. And you? Well – you get it naturally! Because you haven't washed your hair in six days and you've been up nursing a baby all night, allowing for maximum movement and hair displacement. And makeup post-baby? We're keeping it simple – fix those dark bags and throw on a coat of mascara with – Lord willing – a lipstick shade that helps bring you back from the dead. In Europe, you're practically a star with your messy hair, nude eyeshadow, and lack of accessories.
Oh post pregnancy body. You've done many wonderful things for me! You've nourished my babies. You've seen me faithfully through labor. You've been wonderful. But after four times, at least now I know what to expect. Get a support bra, cross your legs when you sneeze, and get on with your days.
Let's not be ashamed of our post pregnancy bodies. Scars, veins, marks, hairs, sags and all. Expect it. Savor those babies. And give thanks.
Periods
Hide your husbands… hide your kids… I'm talking about periods. The worst friend to meet post baby. After all, we've just experienced nine months of blissful period free days! Not that pregnancy was a walk in the park, but still, it's a welcomed rest from that little reminder each month of our womanhood. I was lucky enough to remain period free for almost a year while breastfeeding each child, but some aren't so lucky – breastfeeding or not. Like a thief in the night, it comes, ready to wage war. And – am I alone here? – or did everyone else's periods get WAY more horrible after their babies?
But fear not!
I've discovered some incredible ways to make those post pregnancy periods manageable (I was going to say enjoyable, but who are we kidding).
- Seed cycling: This has been the number one way that I've found to balance hormones and thus, balance my periods. I'll be writing a detailed post on this in the next few days, but in the meanwhile, check out my naturopath's information here. I've been seed cycling for about 18 months now and am continually blown away by how effective it is in diminishing the side effects of periods. Did you know that period isn't supposed to be painful? Chew on that, sparky.
- ClaryCalm: My favorite essential oil blend for all-things-female, ClaryCalm (a blend of Clary Sage Flower, Lavender Flower, Bergamot Peel, Roman Chamomile Flower, Cedarwood Wood, Ylang Ylang Flower, Geranium Plant, Fennel Seed, Carrot Seed, Palmarosa Herb, and Vitex essential oils) is a daily ritual for me post pregnancy. It offers cooling effects for the skin and assists further in balancing hormones. HORMONES?! WHAT HORMONES!? ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE HORMONE PROBLEMS?!?! Teehee. Get it here.
- Ditch the tampons and pads: Chemicals, y'all. Chemicals. Chemicals don't belong anywhere near your… parts… especially post pregnancy when everything is just a wee bit more sensitive than normal. Opt for more natural alternatives like the DivaCup, unbleached pads, and maybe even these fancy new underwear.
Self Care
Regardless of whether or not we want to talk about these post pregnancy topics, there are still a few things we all must do. And that's a direct order.
- Nourish yourself: Feed your body and soul to the brim with what it needs. Foods rich in fat and nutrients help to support a post pregnancy, lactating body. Extra cheese. Big, tall glasses of raw milk. An extra egg in the morning. Now is not the time to trim your diet and focus on squeezing into pre pregnancy jeans. Now is the time to resupply your body with minerals and vitamins that have been leached out over the past year and focus on building up levels and reserves. And even beyond that, you've gotta nourish your mind. Read good books. Remember how to use your brain. And nourish yourself.
- Care for yourself: Take extra long bubble baths and give yourself a bit of time to pluck those eyebrows (if you want), shave those legs (if you want), paint your toenails (if you want), and sip on some Mother's milk tea. Appreciate what your body has done for you and give it a little tender loving care. If you can con your husband into giving you an AromaTouch massage, all the better.
I'm so sorry for mentioning underwear and periods and random curly body hair all in the same post. I couldn't help myself. One must share. There are post pregnancy things that women just don't want to talk about. But we should. Because we're beautiful, and we're capable, and our bodies have given us a big, squishy, loveable baby.
Or four.
Let's rock those post pregnancy bodies.
And Amen.
Heather
Thank you for the link about seed cycling!! I have heard very good things about it and REALLY want to start!
Clare
Shaye! thank you so much for being so real & so honest. the expectation for women to have a perfect body/appearance/whatever is , I believe, a modern development. this is the way God made us, whether we like it or not. nourish that faithful body & apply the Word of God, & you’ve got it made. much love. xx
Shelly
I had read about nursing women not getting their period and (stupidly) just assumed that I also would not have my period while nursing. I was SHOCKED when I got my period about a month after my son was born. It was actually kind of funny how surprised I was. I nursed my son for a full 2 years and still had my period each month. Every body is different. You just never know until it happens to you!
Jess
So the Diva Cup. Curious about how you feel about silicone up inside? I’m super hesitant because of this.
Roxana
Glad to be living in Europe! You really do seem to have as much make up and Co. like a celebrity here!
Most days I’m glad to do my hair and wear some mascara! ????
storme
Just have to comment on the fancy underwear- they are so FABULOUS! Definately worth the cost, and can I just say how freeing it is!
Cordie
Oh, man. Post-pregnancy was the worst. On the plus side, the randomly curly hairs all happened on my scalp– for my first 31 years I had mostly-straight totally limp hair. After kids: curls! I’m enjoying my new, big hair. Also, I am one of the lucky(?) ones– periods were absolute hell until my first kid. Haven’t had a single cramp since. If I’d known *that* would happen, I might have tried becoming a teen mom ๐
For the rest: post-kids, everything prolapsed/herniated. Stuff leaked. Picking up my babies was unbearable, and I could barely walk. Apparently, all those years of slouching WERE a big deal. Who knew? Doctors should be fined $1000 every time they recommend Kegels for this. Katy Bowman and her blog/videos/books have been extremely helpful. She has a whole book on Diastasis Recti plus a host of blog articles on pelvic floor issues and how to help them. Saved my quality of life.
Obviously, my kids are the greatest people in the universe and totally worth it. But I really, really, wish someone had referred me to Katy Bowman’s work years before I had babies.
Karla
I didn’t like my body before having children, so the post-baby body is even more of a wake up! It can be so discouraging to see magazines with images or actresses who seem to bounce back after their babies, but I also see it in real-life people… people with genes better than mine, and it’s hard not to compare. *sigh* When I’m pregnant – as I am now, at 30 weeks – my whole body is pregnant (bigger butt, hips, thighs, arms, etc.). My body does NOT like giving up the weight, either.
With each of my three children, even though I nursed exclusively, I got my period within a month of delivery (and this is in addition to the lovely postpartum bleeding!). I was SO MAD at my sister-in-law who said I wouldn’t get it as long as I was nursing. ๐ Yup, we’re all different.
It’s easy to feel alone in all of this, so the reminder that I’m NOT is nice.
Katie
This is so true! I just had my 2nd (and probably last) child in January after finally getting myself *mostly* put back together from the 1st kid. I think it’s time to admit that my hips are never going to fit into my old jeans again… But what’s a pair of jeans compared to gummy smiles and a baby sleeping in your arms?
Kari
Amen Girl! Postpartum is real! Thank you for talking about it and shedding some light on this sad beast. I think identifying it is the start. Silly as it is mascara first thing in the morning was huge for me during those days. Self care, nutrition and just bonding with that little nugget. And pray pray pray for strength and guidance. May any of you ladies going through this be helped by this wonderful post and know that HE will see you through this.
simca
Oh those pesky hairs, each year a new patch seems to start in more visible places, I was so frustrated with it, that I gave up and said, “I never thought i would start shaving at the same time as my son!” I laugh, and then who cares. I got tweezers in my car. The best light in there! Haha. Love ya!
Michelle Boyechko
I love the new period panties! I’m never going back to pads or tampons again! My body threw everything I think it had at these undies and NO leaking!
D
I just got down to my pre-pregnancy weight and LOWER, looking the best I have ever looked since my wedding day over nine years ago.
I’m still breastfeeding my 15 month old once a day, in the evenings, and just found out I’m pregnant with baby #2!! And was shocked, not trying to have another for a while, and a tad pannicky.
I was looking forward to having my body back getting down to where I could wear size 4 jeans comfortably, again.
But the Lord has blessed me. His timing is always perfect.
I may be done after this!! Haha.
Meagan
Oh, girl! Yes to all of the above! Last year, I went through a real “body crisis” after finally losing all my baby weight. I was happy to be back to my “normal” clothing size, but after nursing 4 kids, I was thinking about a boob job. LOL! Anyway, thankfully I found a great bra. Hallelujah! And, I’ve read a bit about seed cycling and have considered trying it. I’d like to know how you do it on a daily basis. My periods haven’t gotten worse, but I think my PMS has! Thanks for being real, mama!
Lois
Meagan, what bra works best for you? You may email to [email protected]. Thanks!
Bethany
Wondering about what bra you like too? I’m about as flat as a pancake post nursing! ๐ [email protected] Thanks.
Carrie
My Naturopath using Dr. Dale’s NuFem Homeopathic Hormone Rejuvenation. I feel it did it’s thing. You don’t stay on it long though. It’s just to help tell your body how to get back on track. The problem is, you have to find someone who works with those products. Before that, the Energetix company does some hormone homeopathy drops. You have to know what you need specifically though. I enjoyed those for adrenal support and thyroid support after number 4 and nursing but needing something natural to help.
Did anyone ever belly wrap? I did after number 3 and was glad but forgot and couldn’t find my wrap after number 4. I’m thinking of doing it again with number 5.
sarah rodriguez
Your frickin adorable! In the raw honesty kind of way. And let’s face it all mom boobs look like balloons a week after the party!
Shaye Elliott
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Kathryn Miller
You go girl… have them babies… take care of your bod the best you can and enjoy your life.
Trust an old woman here…. in about 30 more years you won’t give a flying flip what your boobs look like and you will still be beautiful and your hubby will probably love you more than ever and your children will rise up and call you “blessed”~\!
Love your blog.
Shaye Elliott
LOVE.
Sue
Great post. The random hairs growing out of my neck and chin are what drive me nuts. Thanks for keeping it real.
Cassidy
I’m love my boobs right up till toddlerhood when they stop drinking quite as much and the scary oversupply finally figures out that I didn’t have quadruplets.
Periods are hellish, but I get another 9 month reprieve after birth. Natural mama cloth and diva cups saved me though. I still cramp (endometriosis – blah) but it is soooo much better and lighter even. Not light. Just lighter.
Concealer for the win! And lipstick/gloss because it appears that pigment also gets sucked from your body when having children . Oh my goodness gracious the hair!!! Where did it come from?! Why must it torture me.
I’m 32 weeks with number four and reaching the point where I’m answering people’s ‘how far along’ inquiries with ‘somewhere close to a million years.’ It’s hot and humid in the South (I know you’ve been there) and I married a beast of a man therefore carry his giant beast babies. So close…yet so far still.
I love your raw honesty and your tasty recipes. As a fellow wife, mother, farmer, Christian – your blog is one of my favorites!
Shaye Elliott
“Giant beast babies” – HA!
CheriH
I love your blog. ๐ And I am very interested in learning more about seed cycling. Thank you!
Shaye Elliott
I’ll do a post soon!
Sarah
I love reading your posts! I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and can totally relate to the things you said! I pre ordered your recipe book and am eagerly awaiting it’s arrival in the mail ๐ You are super hilarious and genuine, thanks for keeping it real.
Shaye Elliott
Thanks for reading, Sarah! I hope you love the book!
Mary
You don’t have to pee your pants. I am way past all that. I just had 2 kids and didn’t have the issues many of you seem to have had. I needed more balance help, but this website is great. https://fit2b.us/how-to-check-for-diastasis-hd/
Alanna`
Loved it! Thank you!
Colleen
I am falling in love with your blog. Seriously awesome.
Shaye Elliott
Aww, thank you Colleen!
Katie
Not sure if I’m ready for the post pregnancy body yet, but our daughter is due in just over a month! I will be trying those new period panties after baby, has anyone tried them in the actual birth recovery stage? I wanted to try those over pads.
Ali
3 babies equaled 6 years of no period for me! Yay! And considering my boobs look like something out of National Geographic… except small… I’m gonna say I totally deserved those 6 free years! My periods got shorter and more regular with less cramping so that was cool too! My hair however can’t grow much past my shoulders anymore as it all just breaks off when it gets to that point. And you know that magical day when all the hair you didn’t loose during pregnancy decides to start falling out? Yeah that happened three times with my final kidlet! Three times!!! Also, my body has seemed to become a factory to mass produce moles!
Anna Sakawsky
Thanks for this post! I gave birth to my first (and currently only) child almost a year ago and I have really been hating my body lately. I’ll be candid here: I’m as heavy as I was when I gave birth despite eating well and getting moderate exercise (household and homestead chores and mom exercise), and I even just finished a cleanse but didn’t lose an ounce. My problem area is my belly. It has always been my problem area, but after having a baby and a C-section, I have stretch marks and scars and a hanging belly and I I HATE IT!!! But it’s nice to know I’m not alone, and that we all hate on parts of our body post-pregnancy. I often neglect myself and self-care in order to keep up with everything that needs to be done and take care of everyone else and I even feel guilty spending the money on myself because I run out family’s finances and try to live a frugal lifestyle. But I know I feel better and can give more when I invest a little time, money and energy in myself and my body. Thanks for a supportive, encouraging and inspiring post. And BTW, I think you look amazing momma!