I've got modern life fatigue and I've got it bad. Unlike all my other blog posts to date, I'm not even being dramatic. No, seriously. Seriously.
(Reading 12,381 hours of the Outlander book series probably hasn't helped the modern life fatigue but as my Dad sarcastically says “Let's not confuse the issue with facts.”)
Stuart often reminds me that “everything has a bite” and I'm feeling the pinch of this modern life. The bite of it, as it were. There are many blessings (modern dentistry comes to mind) but that certainly doesn't mean our modern times are without their deep valleys of challenges.
We are not spared trials, though those trials seem to be far less primal than times past.
I find myself envying the 18th century characters in my novels slightly. Yes, life was hard (like really, really hard). But it was also honest. Straightforward. Dare I say – that life makes more sense to me.
This year has been one for the books and I, like almost everyone, am fatigued by it all. Not only the happenings, which are dire in and of themselves, but with the noise around the happenings. The aggression. The shouting. The helplessness. The battering day after day. The connection – too much connection?
But it's not only that. Modern life fatigue also manifests as habits I hate in myself.
Picking up the phone for no reason. Allowing technology to steal my precious thoughts.
It's Facebook notifications and comments and having been “99+ unread messages” behind for years. Translation: Do people think I don't care? Will they be angry that I haven't responded? What if I miss something really important? Ditto on the email inbox. And the Instagram notifications. And blog comments. And text messages.
But it doesn't stop there.
It's watching Netflix at night instead of giving that energy to my husband.
It's the speed of driving in a car – being able to transport so quickly from one place to another, the world whipping by at a speed that makes me nauseous. The ability to be everywhere because we can travel so quickly means there can be a constant pressure to be everywhere, the body not given time to adjust emotionally or physically. Our calendars explode with activity and vacations because they can.
It's the bright, harsh lights – so combative with the warm, soft hues of the sun.
It's wishing the objective of life was easier: eat, stay alive.
It's not that I'm pushing back against the regular trials of life, but rather, I'm pushing back against too much of everything.
I've been knowing I need to turn down the noise for awhile, both literally and figuratively. And so, just for a night, Stuart and I ran away to a cabin in the woods. No electricity, no running water, no cell phone service, just twenty minutes from home. All we took was a few blankets, a bottle of Bordeaux, and a small package of food.
I needed a moment to think. To process the best way forward for our family in light of COVID, a changed culture, a changed community. a changed future. I needed a moment with Stuart without the “ding” of a cellphone, the hum of an air conditioner, or the demands of work.
Just a moment.
The result was aggressively expected. My modern life fatigue needs to be dealt with. I speak for myself in truly and freely admitting that I'm simply not emotionally prepared to process life at the speed it operates in our modern time. I process slowly and contemplatively. I need time to adjust to social situations, interactions with people, and social demands. I need silence. Nature. Intimacy with those around me.
I simply can't hold pace with the world's newsfeed.
Though I still don't know the perfect remedy for a blogger with modern life fatigue, I do know that life is far too short to not squeeze it for every drop of goodness it has. I'm hungry for it – I want to feel it, taste it, smell it, dig into it.
While I pray and contemplate a new way forward, for now, I've simplified just a little. I've begun to burn beeswax candles at sunset instead of turning on the lights. I've turned off the audiobooks, podcasts, and music (reserving them for certain times) and let the house rest in silence. I've turned off the air conditioner and just felt the air that the season has to offer. I've turned off the phone more often and let it sit in one spot of the house instead of carrying it around in my pocket. I'm investing faithfully in those that I share a table with and those around me. I've submitted to the fact that I can't give everyone what they want of me and am working on being at peace with what that means for my messages and inboxes.
I know this post lacks full resolution or call to action – simply a pondering of my heart and an expression of what's trying to form in it. A primal desire to life simpler. Truly simpler. But better.
I need a rewiring of the brain that calls thoughts to be deeper and well thought-out, far beyond the knee-jerk-emotional-social-media-reaction.
I need a rewiring of the brain that calls entertainment to be simpler, like a child plunking the keys on a piano, watching the goldfish swim around the pond, or a visit from the neighbor.
I need a rewiring of the brain that focuses on virtues like patience, responsibility, honesty, fortitude, and propriety.
A rewiring of the brain that grows deep wells of discipline, care for others, and strength.
That's the world I want to be a part of building.
I think I'll start right here at home.
All I can say is AMEN! I’ve been feeling this lately! I need things to slow down. We live on a little homestead and I find myself digging in even more than I ever have lately! Turning off the news, turning off the noise! I sure wish a band of people would come together with the purpose to slow down and return to the simplest way of life we possibly can! Bless you!
I think this is my most favorite blog post…ever. Amen and amen.
I resonate so deeply with this as well. You have a virtual sister trudging though this mess and toning things down, right alongside of you! <3
I LOVE so much that you guys used the cabin! This makes my heart immensely happy! Also – I soooo resonate with the modern exhaustion and noise these days. Too much of everything and not enough all in one.
YOU GO GIRL! You are so right. Thank you for this verification.
You’ve just articulated what I’ve been unable to. My heart resonates deeply.
I hear you and I can understand. I am there right now and we shut everything off today and just focused on the present. I cooked and did a few projects. We laughed and it felt good. No dings, beeps, or yelling from the tv. We got to hear the birds, the dogs bark, and watch those birds and the rabbits, and enjoy the quiet. I am out of books and thankful I found this post. Thank you for blessing me with these words. You are not alone.
Its been a week since the disaster in Lebanon, I only found five hours ago. I tell you this because I do not watch television, I don’t really mix with people despite being in a town. The only place I tend to go is church and thats closed at present . I am not really in touch with the world around me yet I am content. Lockdown for me has been no different I continue to watch the vlogs I choose to watch with no violence no swearing or shouting. I love to watch gardening, cooking,styling homes and homesteading. I am happy in my simplified world and at peace.xx
Amen! I got off social media a few years ago. I have never Blogged, or posted videos on YouTube. I cannot imagine how noisy everything must be right now. Also, it seems as though everyone wants an answer from influencers on what they think on current issues, etc. Its wise to step back and refocus. Too many voices. We really truly just need the One Voice. Our Father and Creator. God bless you and I am praying for your family.
So, I discovered your vlog recently…and have enjoyed every moment! This post sharing your current state of wanting….is indeed such a reflection of my own heart and mind. Also today was my first attempt at planting. I dare say I get the appeal of the Outlander element. I married a Welshman. I had pleasure living, working and having my children while living in London…with a brief bit of work in Edinburgh, Scotland. I have enjoyed much travel and it’s what reset my perspective and values. This process never ends…keeps you evaluating, realigning and wanting. What I would like to compliment you on is how strong the intimate connection between you and your husband filters through your vlogs. Whether or not this is intentional …it is a blessing. The desire in you to slow down and recalibrate to not bow and be ruled or robbed by our world’s complex advancements…is felt by many. The difference unfortunately may be that those things may all a person has because their intimate connections have not been strong enough to rise above. I’ve been married since 1993, my children almost grown and I feel every bit of what you are experiencing…but without the connection I crave. This is the drive for some to slow down…to somehow find others out there who are willing to do the same…and meet you there. You are blessed and I will continue looking forward to all the experience you share…God Bless your journey!
This was so beautiful to read even been a subscriber to your channel, I really adore your love for everything imperfect and I find it very hard to tune in peaceful mode with the jargon that’s happening on our little planet… I think of a slow, but productive way of living is what all souls need…
I feel this deeply. So incredibly deeply. I always regret scrolling my FB feed… I’m so tired, but I don’t know why. Perhaps this is it.
I agree wholeheartedly . . . Checking the phone for no reason, why? Why do we do it! Why are we afraid to miss the “next thing”. I often want to throw the phone away, the computer away, the electricity away. We have no TV, but then make up for it with YouTube. Its so hard, there’s good from it and then there’s not so good. Going camping in the mountains in 12 days. Can’t wait to turn it all off . . .
As one who has grown up in the good old days, had a family, still enjoying life this part this present time of existing, raising a family I find horrific. My heart breaks.
I totally get it.
To get away, isolated, a time to reboot.
You need this like a mediation, finding your Zen.
As parents you want to be the best you can. You have found that place, do it as often as you can.
It will be your best medicine. 🙏💐🌈
Your post was like I writing it myself. I have felt this way for awhile now. I love to read and watch stories of way back when life was slower. I am starting a myself as I feel I have so much I want to share but there is alot of social media and modern fatigue that comes with that. Your posts are always so real and inspiring.
Simply. AMEN dear sister. X
Yes. A whole-hearted yes!
So beautifully said. My husband and I have been having the same discussions, especially since I am currently reading The Gospel Comes with a House Key and Essentialism. Thank you for the recommendations. These books are life-changing. Sending love and light from Alaska.
I wrote a new poem (during a virtual retreat LOL) for this crazy journey we are all on together during this time.
Journeying On
Like our ancestors before us,
We are packed and moving on.
Lurching, rocking and jerking –
But we are moving.
Moving with us are our children,
Our elders, our siblings, all of Beloved’s children.
We’ve packed our hopes and dreams and musings,
And enough food for all.
The clouds are low and rain is falling heavily
Dragon’s breath obscures the valleys,
But we move on, ever forward, into unknown lands.
Up ahead, the clouds are thinning
The sun shines back beyond the clouds.
And we know that one day it will break through,
Bursting out in glory, revealing all in vibrant color.
Until that day, we find peace that we are
Travelling with the Beloved Divine,
Whose hands are leading on,
Illuminating our way,
Sighing with us, and gracing us
with song and belly laughter!
Beautifully written Shaye. I’m so glad that you took the time to catch a “moment.” Keep doing that. The best thing that I have done since COVID hit was to leave my phone in the house and just be outside. I haven’t had Facebook on my phone for the past three years and a month ago I took IG of it as well. If I want to look at them I have to sit down at my desktop computer. It has been life changing. Breathe deep my friend, you’ve got this. Follow your heart, listen to your gut.
Right on!!!
Yes, yes and yes.
I sometimes think I was born in the wrong century.
I make my own peace, in small ways, only to have the ever-pulling modern world drag me back into its chaos.
Embrace your family and close friends Shaye, wrap yourself in the warmth of the people who truly love you. When the chips are down or when you are feeling down, these are the one’s who will hold your hand and give you the strength to carry on. Allow yourself a break from all the attention you get from your followers, We will still be here waiting for you when you are ready.To become a victim of your own success is a double edged sword. Hold fast Shaye and be true to yourself.
This is so awesome.
Thank you for sharing your personal moments.
I am a Outlander fan….read all the books years ago but was also captivated by that era. They make the simple things seem the smart way of living.Bless you!
I feel the same way way too much digital and electronic noise in my life and maybe I do need to just unplug !
I couldn’t agree more. This is the first time I’ve ever commented on a blog post (anywhere), but this post honestly spoke to me on a deep level. For me it started with deleting my social media, except Pinterest but I find it doesn’t affect me as much. I recently turned off notifications on my phone as well and leave it somewhere around the house. It has allowed me to truly focus on other things, like gardening or reading, without the distraction and the buzzing. It’s a liberating feeling but it still feels like it’s not enough. Oh well, one step at a time, breathe in breathe out. You’re not alone!
Love from the Netherlands
Yes, me too!
I am exhausted and broken!
Thanks for these timely words
This sooo resonated with me. Last Thursday I came across a notepad that I’ve had forever that has quotes on each page, perforated so that you can tear them. I saw the notepad I hadn’t looked at in months, reached over, and flipped open to a page. At the bottom was this quote: “Treasure this day and treasure yourself. Truly, neither will ever happen again.” — Ray Bradbury. I love Ray Bradbury–particularly Fahrenheit–and coming across this quote was what I needed to hear just when I needed to hear it. I’ve let those words repeat in my mind since reading them–a reminder to myself. To not be too harsh with myself, to slow down a bit, and to treasure each day–and myself. Thank you for writing this and for all the beautiful photos.
So gorgeously written. I don’t think I’ve related to anything more.
Well said and possibly true for all of us to one extent or another. You are doing the right thing!
As I sit here and read your blog while eating a snack I feel as I am sure many reading this feel the same way in the times we are living in right now. It is a sense of going back to nature and back to a simpler way of life without all the “noise” we have today. I truly feel it is needed. Thank you for sharing this great blog post, I hope you and Stuart enjoyed your mini vacation :0)
I feel so much of what you are talking about. Life right now is so different and I don’t like what is going on and feel somewhat helpless and overwhelmed. I want more quiet simpler times. I don’t watch much news but everywhere you go its in your face. I am shutting that out as much as possible to quiet my mind and life.
You do what you need to do to heal yourself. We all need to do this more than ever now. Its really important. Thanks for writing this………it helps more than you know.
Hugs
Linda
Funny, I watch your videos while I work with my hands (I make audio cables for our recording console manufacturing business) and love the peace your homesteading life brings to me and I envy the pace of your life. But, of course, I didn’t think of the “noise” from social media when you have the following you do. You truly do NEED to get away from that more often. Social media dings, likes, positive comments, negative comments truly do rewire the pathways of our brains. We’re all Pavlov’s dogs in that way. It’s hard to avoid being mentally stimulated by bells, dings and buzzes.
Recently, being without a phone for a week (mine broke) was heaven. I’d swing in my hammock, watching birds above me. Ever since, I stopped going on Facebook, which is just behind Twitter as the platform that most negatively affected me emotionally. I need less technology and more nature.
I relate to this statement you made: “I need time to adjust to social situations, interactions with people, and social demands. I need silence. Nature. Intimacy with those around me.”
It’s why I refuse to facetime with people. Seeing someone “virtually” is not a full human experience. I can’t feel their physical energy, can’t touch their arm to make a point or hug them. There’s far too much technology that does dehumanize us.
Our current society feels (because it is) so processed, and I crave more authenticity.
Don’t feel guilty if you need to tell your social media audience you’re cutting back on posting or checking in. It’s important for mental health to back away.
Anyway, I appreciate your honesty and relate so well to what you’re feeling.
Thank you for your blog. You put words to feelings I have,. This year has been so full of challenges that none of us ever could have fathomed. I would imagine our ancestors could say the same at certain times in history. I find comfort and hope in the fact that they preserved and hopefully we can too!
I feel the same way. Especially while reading Outlander. That’s why I love it so much. I started a garden because of Outlander, Angela and you. That speaks to my soul and helps me to enjoy life’s simple things more.
I didn’t a name for what i am feeling right now, but yes – modern-life-fatigue fits well! But, there are morsals of goodness that feel our souls, we just have to know where to find them and when to let them go again.
I watched a great documentary about the story of a pastor who, I believe, is from your area. https://www.livegodspeed.org/watchgodspeed
I think you would really enjoy it! Also, I read a book at the beginning of Covid called “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Comer. It was life changing for me. Blessings to you! I’m so glad you got away. It’s so hard to live in this world and not be of it or let it take us over.
Thank you for recommending that documentary – I really enjoyed it. I have just ordered the book you recommended from our local library and look forward to reading it when it becomes available.
Juliette, I watched that and it was so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing! Plus, it ties right in with Outlander and Scotland.
Thank you for this wonderful article… I totally can relate… as I made a burn out last year… I choose how I spend my time now, in a way that it gives me chills, joy, love and purpose… oh sometimes the crazy world give me hard times especially with school (madness here in France!)… but as we are all together, we just enjoy!
You inspire me with your little tips thanks! 🙏🏼
And amen.
I could have written this. Seriously.
We all have had enough…… prayers to you sister … the slowing down and limiting is a good practice one that will serve you well your whole life …..:)
Yes. Thank you.
Outlander does this to me too! And Little House, and all the homesteading books. And post apocalyptic fiction… all of it. I sometimes think that if we didn’t have cars and phones and the like if life would be simpler, quieter. When your job requires you to be connected, it is even harder to disconnect. I quit once for a month and when you do, you see how connected to the conveniences everyone is.
Do you follow Simple Living Alaska? They have a good pace.
This spoke to the depths of my soul. Thank you.
Every word spoke right to the core of my heart. And so be it. I sense a shift in the wind and this gals sails are down. Time to anchor on the simplicity of life, albeit hard work on our homestead, but soul satisfying without the incessant interruptions of the outside world that surrounds us…including the media.
Thank you Shaye. Time to nourish the soul. ❤️
I live off grid in a camper with my boys and I still struggle with those things! I’m so with you in wanting to throw the phone out the window most days! I’ve been pulling back from socials and finding so much more time with my people and doing the things that my heart loves. Oh but it’s a daily battle to choose best with the time we have. I know it’s difficult with your platform and career, but I pray you find a way to do what you need as well as what your heart longs for. It’s ok to give yourself permission to step back, reevaluate and forge a new path that meets the evolved priorities of your life.
Your post is thoughtful and understood, I for one get far to caught up in screens and news and often need a break. Your escape looks lovely.
Regarding your feeling that life was less complicated a hundred years ago or so, keep in mind women couldn’t vote, have careers, make choices about their bodies and racial injustice/Jim Crow was rampant.
You have carved out a lovely life (that you have worked hard for), that is to be admired.
I enjoy you sharing it.
I’m right there with ya on the fatigue. I’ve been considering doing a 30 day FB diet, but I don’t have the online presence that you do so it would actually be totally easy once I decide I can cut that cord! The hectic pace and activity is actually starting to make me sick, so I know I could use a break at least.
Yes to absolutely everything you said.
It was a breath of fresh air. So accurately summarizes how I’ve been feeling. And all I want to do right now is whisper “thank you.”
Just this morning I was reading a novel that took place in 1938 England, when WWII was brewing. The character refused to own a radio because he felt so much news was harmful to home life. News came only through the daily newspaper and by phone. I can’t even comprehend how refreshing that would be.
Here’s to identifying and embracing the best of our world (modern dentistry) and having the courage to shed the rest of it!
I think about this constantly. I look at my phone with hatred almost daily and wish it would just leave me alone. Sometimes leaving it alone doesn’t feel like enough – like I need to throw it far away from me and never come back to it. But it’s hard to balance that desire with needing to be available for the family and friends that aren’t sitting right in front of you at the dinner table all the time. I feel that weight heavily. Anyways, just wanted to thank you for verbalizing these feelings so beautifully! I can’t wait to hear more about how you find ways to navigate it!
I needed to read this today. It brought tears to my eyes and I felt all of it. Thank you for sharing
I wholeheartedly agree with everything that you said. I have also always felt that I was born in the wrong century. Thank you for voicing something that so many of us feel, but yet feel so alone in that feeling! It’s really refreshing to read and also to read comments of others with similar views about what we would love for our own lives to look like. It helps to see that I am not alone and there are others like me. I feel misunderstood so often with friends and family. So thank you! I love your blog and feel like I am sitting down with friends when I listen to your podcast. There’s not much out there that feels worth my time and distraction.
I felt every piece of this.
I too have been reading the Outlander books and I find myself craving a similar life style. Slowing down, putting the technology away, wearing dresses with aprons, doing things a little more old fashioned and taking time to enjoy the process. I find that it grounds me and forces me to pause and give thanks to all that I have and to those around me.
Thank you for sharing your words and as always, your lovely photographs.
xoxo,
Riley
Oh man, this post hit me like a ton of bricks. The pace of life today makes it so hard to focus on the moment- and that’s something we all need to be doing more of right now. Turning it off, tuning it out, turning back to what is honest and real- the simple pleasures of the garden, of silence, of the music of wind in the trees and the patter of rain- it’s soul nourishing. Keep digging- all of us- we’ll find our gems.
God is bringing me to this same point this year – to three words. Turn it off.
Life has it’s seasons…this too will pass on to something new. I’ve lived 69 years, through 8 moves, 4 states, and Europe and always found each season develops growth and memories. Change is good!! Having a strong partner (48 yrs) and wonderful family helps a lot. A strong faith makes it all the easier. All of which you have!!! Carry on….. and enjoy your life and the wine!!
Yes, yes, yes. Your posts and videos are so calming for me…you will figure it out and when you do, please share. Thank you for your words!
Oh man. This got me right in the feels. I’ve been thinking the same way for awhile now.
Please don’t feel that you need to apologize. Live is not and was never meant to be lived at warp speed. We are all in the same boat. Be gentle with yourself in the times that you forget that this is your life to craft as you will no explanations needed. Burrow into your simplicity and enjoy enjoy enjoy! Let the world do them. You do you.
Thank you for taking the time to write your thoughts out in such a understandable way. I’m going to reread this and use it to process my own modern day fatigue. I never knew what to call it but you have nailed it and there is something better even in these modern times I never knew what to call it but you have nailed it and there is something better even in these modern times.
Couldn’t have said all of that any better or more authentically myself however, it is very much all of the things that I’m pondering, pining after and working toward in my own home and modern life. I’m with you! I hear you. Thank you for sharing.
I love this. My heart is here too. It’s all too much. And back when I started reading the Outlander series, I felt the same. A longing for a life that seems more real.
Oh how I completely understand how you feel.. You have described it so well with beautiful words… Just a month ago my husband and I moved from our newly home we built ourselves 8 years ago and bought a cabin in the woods. This cabin was 21 years old and needs much TLC…. During the work and frustration we’ve wondered what we might have done, but then when we are having our coffee out on the front porch in the mornings with the quietness of only branches bustling and birds chirping, or enjoying our dinner in the dim of our kitchen… We know we made the right choice. My teenage daughter was concerned about the lack of cellular service, but even she has found great joy in the solitude… Modern life fatigue, a great way to put it … This is our way of quieting the noise. I look forward to the work of making this our home. Thank you for sharing your heart… I has help me understand exactly how I feel. And good to know I am not alone in this world.
Yes we all have two much info coming at us… But its very eady to turn it off. I dont use facebook snymore complete waste of time. I do one post on instagram a day and dont check it after that. I dont have notification sounds. But thrn I dont make money off social media as you do. There were times when as a youtuber and blovget you ran after thosre follows, those coments those likes you basked in the attention. You made revenue you sold books well now is the downside of selling your life. Ad there is always a price to pay. You could step back from it all but you wont because you wont want that attention to go away. You have certain expectations now and you cant get the genie back in the bottle.
This speaks to my soul. We moved to a farm to live more simply, and yet the modern world still tangles us with its clever ways of social media and noise. Farm or city, I have to be intentional. I’m putting my phone down for the rest of the night and doing the same things you’ve mentioned you are doing. Candles lit, and letting the house be silent.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. I am intrigued by the book listed, the ruthless elimination…just put it on hold at my library. I believe there are many of us who feel this way – twisted, pulled, challenged. I love to clean and purge my home of things I no longer use. Maybe I need to purge my life of habits that no longer serve me or my family and introduce new habits. I love that you light a candle at night. Such a small thing. Such a big thing. Keep on, my friend. Keep on. We’re all listening and learning.
I relate so much to this. I just want a slower life. But then we get judged for not being more ambitious…
Definitely need to take time for yourself. The things you do are amazing, however….being 30 years your senior, I have been exactly where you are, and I know the fallout that you will face in 20+.years. my best advice is scale back on anything and everything you can, don’t get caught up in the busyness that comes along with your children getting older, and whatever you do….make your husband priority. Just my elderly advice😊 Your hair is lovely, definitely the Scandavian farmer look.
It’s comforting to read your words and the words of those who are commenting here. To know you’re not alone in the absolute fatigue of simply existing in this modern world where it feels like everyone has access to you all the time. It makes me tired. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
The first time I read this, I wept. You had put a name to the thing I could not. I’ve read it three times fully again since.
When the coronavirus hit, the constant demands on my time and my family ground to a halt, and I felt a release and a peace I hadn’t felt in years. But then came the barrage of news, the politics, the riots,… the everything. I had to pull away from most parts of social media. And that returned some peace. But things are trying to creep back in and I have been feeling near panicked at the choked feeling it is giving me. THIS is the why. I cannot go back to the way it was.
Thank you for letting me know i’m not alone. And that it’s okay to be this way.
Spot on. Exactly. Me too, starting right at home. I’m brain weary. Thanks so much for these words.
Dear Shaye, take it from one who knows, you are beautiful and enough and you will find a peaceful way through. Going back to basics is restful. And…..breathe deeply ❤️
I’m glad to hear I am not alone with these feelings. The pull that my phone and social media has on me is disgusting. It’s addictive and insidious. I think we all need to spend more time thinking about the reasoning behind why media is so addicting these day’s. And not just reinforcing that everyone has the addiction so that makes it somehow okay to be on your phone 24/7. I don’t think humans were meant to have this much choice in their lives. We also aren’t meant to indulge in hyperconnectivity. It’s so important to see and experience others face to face. I feel quite alone with these feelings about where society is headed. It’s nice to know that there is a minority of us that want to push back for the sake of our brains and mental health.
I NEEDED this post. I deleted all of my social media recently, but still get your newsletter through my email.
This post resonated with me to my core!
Keep on keeping on sweet soul
Thank you for this post. Your words spoke deeply to my soul. You put into words what has been stirring in my heart lately. Yes to the way things were a long time ago, yes to the simplicity of it all, yes to back to the basics and yes to reconnecting with those around us without distractions of the modern lifestyle. This post is beautifully written, thank you again for sharing your thoughts and heart. Glad to know I’m not alone feeling the same.
Hi Shaye, I could not agreee more!…I feel that covid has brought me back to a slow pace of life that I was missing!…I worked two jobs, one I quit & one that has not resumed & may not at all . I am a homebody anyway, but now I feel like living a quieter, simpler life…not reacting to everything around me!…thank you for your views!…xoxo
Something that has been crying out within me spilled out into words.
I have limited,if not eliminated watching news. Limited social media because after awhile it sucks my energy. Have recently retired from nursing and trying to find a simpler pace. It will take awhile of that I am sure. We have a cabin, on a lake and we go every chance we have. I long for the solitude of nature and just be. My soul has been asking for this for a very long time. Modern life has it quirks but sometimes I need to step back and press the pause button. Blessings Shaye
Shaye…thank you for sharing…again. I always feel like I’m listening to a kindred spirit when I read your words, for which I am oh so grateful. Wish I know I only speak for myself here, and while I genuinely love being able to watch and listen to the things you post, please know that you don’t have to be everything to everyone. Our time here can be so short, and especially our time with our little ones so quick and precious as they grow in leaps and bounds, so take some deep breaths, dig your feet into the soil, hug your family, and remember that its not what you do in your life but how you do it. Thank you for sharing honestly: )
Be still…
Thank you! I needed this today!!
WOW! You put into words so eloquently exactly what I’m feeling. Last week for 4 days as an experiment I didn’t look at ANY social media, no computer for any reason or watch any news. I can’t tell you the difference in how I felt. My mind was clearer and my attitude was much more positive. I was able to think and dream again, to make plans for our farm. I had become a person that had to look on Facebook very often to see what the latest news was and I noticed myself becoming really angry, anxious and depressed.
I, like you, don’t know the way forward but I do know things HAVE to change for me!
Oh, and you are going to love all the Outlander books! I so identify with the “old days and old ways” and often think I was born in the wrong time frame.
Praying for you and all of us out there that are looking for better ways forward.
Shaye,
Thank you for sharing your heart in a most honest and raw way. I’m experiencing such a ‘sameness’ – a longing for slow, simple, REAL, tangible life. Human connection that is close enough to touch. Baking bread from scratch. Furniture made from our very own trees. Handwritten letters vs texts (slower and larger space gaps, but more intentional!) So many things that resonate in my soul beg to be touched. Yet, the very things that seem to demand and propel business (electronics, etc) within my daily life, also tangle my mind and heart into a flurry that I resent. I feel caught between the tension of spending time focused in those too-fast spaces solely for financial necessity and longing to be fully self sufficient enough that life feels truly fulfilling. I don’t want to ignore people, but I also hate the virtual nature of connection because it begins to feel cheap. This tension has lead me in a slower, more purposeful direction. Yet, because its all I crave now, I feel almost dizzy in a HURRY to get ‘all there’ in spaces that beg a slow approach. (Learning the last few years, to grow food, for example – not something that can be rushed!) Its within these very introspective details that growth occurs and I’m grateful, while also, fatigued. I hear you! I SO hear you! Your blog and what you’re doing with your homestead is deeply inspiring to me and, I believe, so many others that are heading that direction. It infuses hope that counters the furious pace of modern life to watch you tending your land, growing your kids and fighting for slower, intentional purpose! I think it’s something we could all use a good hard think about. Best to you!!
This is why I never started IG or Facebook in the first place…….When they were becoming a ‘thing’, I was so overwhelmed with my life as a mom of two boys with a rare digestive disorder……I was frantically researching and there was simply not time for anything else. Now I’m grateful. I don’t want it. I can’t handle all that; and sometimes the life I DO have looks a little too big for me!!
COVID was a huge blessing getting my sanity back from the crazy busy schedule we had accumulated, regardless of our social media minimalism. I emptied my inbox, minimized our belongings DRASTICALLY, and built relationships……never attained perfection but changed course. I did the things I needed to. Still doing them. I’m more sure than ever that there’s simply no way ANY of us has enough time to do/be all that social media implies we should. And I’m so glad you addressed that thing of being enough as a mom/friend/wife because it was and still is a painful tension in my life. Technology has only served to exacerbate it.
So I guess I’m just resonating and saying thank you here……..Shaye, your writings and videos have shaped me a lot as a woman. I see you as a role model. Blessings to you!
Amen, Sister!
I left FB several years ago because I got tired of being jealous of other people’s fake lives. It occured to me that what really matters, the people that need to know what book I am reading or when I am celebrating a birthday—will know and they won’t know because of social media, they will know because they genuinely care.
So we sold our giant house filled with souless Target finds, moved to Fidalgo Island in the San Juan Islands to a small 110 year old imperfect house, with no garage and started living a soulful life.
It has been the best decision.
Social media can be a vortex of negativity and you have to conciously choose what you allow into your life. I have gravitated to your vlog because your life positively resonates with me and is beautifully imperfect, heartfelt and family oriented. It uplifts me and inspires me. In this day and age of salacious clickbait your energy is very edifying.
I am glad you recognized what you need and the best path forward for you and yours. As mother-wife-workers we need to love and restore ourselves so we can love and nurture our families. It is important to recognize that is a good thing.
You might check out vlogger Jonna Jinton as well, she might inspire you—like you inspire me as you both have a lot in common in terms of focusing on what really matters and a love of nature.
Sending you lavendar hugs and joy!
OMG I loveeeee Outlander!! It is honestly my favorite series ever. #Jamie&Claire
Amen sister. I feel everything you said.
I totally agree with you. We run a Roadside Market at our home. So trying to take care of it and do for us on the homestead can get pretty overwhelming sometimes, especially now that the garden is calling to be put up for winter food.Then there is the phones, oh yes. Sometime’s drives me crazy. Yes, I to try to put the phone down and only check it once an hour. I am thankful for the air conditioner, but it has finally cooled off enough to shut it off, so now I am not hearing $$$. God bless.
Can you guys pretty please do Instagram? Even if it is once a week? PLEASE?
Dear Shaye,
I know what you mean. Yet, coping with this begins with understanding that
our God is larger than even the challenges of a modernity that often rejects him. Grace is always more powerful than sin and the detritus of a fallen, though still breathtakingly beautiful world. And the darkness, however we construe it, will not overcome the light. And we who know Christ have that light (life) in abundance.
There are some monastic practices I have learned while staying in monasteries that will help you slow your life.
1. For nearly 20 years now I have recited the daily office. It is a profound resource and will cause you to reflect on Scripture throughout the dayZ. Light a candle when you read them at night.
2. Have a family candlelit compline service on Sunday evenings. It’s beautiful
3’. Cultivate your own early morning holy hour. Do part liturgy, part Lectio Divina, and part journaling your conversations / prayers with Christ
4. Teach yourself Lectio Divina, and it’s movements. To pray this way with Scripture is powerful, and Will teach you a great deal
5. Consider doing the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life (SEEL). This isn’t just for Catholics. I am Protestant and I lead these retreats. It will also teach you some contemplative practices that will pause your life.
6. Take a long walk every day and sing.
7. Light candles every night at dinner.
8. Practice Stillness and listen for the still, small voice Elijah heard after the storms and the fires and the earthquakes. God is there, despite the noise.
9. Take up fly fishing or watercolors. They help.
Love to you from Tacoma,
Annie
Dear Shaye,
I know what you mean. Yet, coping with this begins with understanding that our God is larger than even the challenges of a modernity that often rejects him. Grace is always more powerful than sin and the detritus of a fallen, though still breathtakingly beautiful world. And the darkness, however we construe it, will not overcome the light. And we who know Christ have that light (life) in abundance.
There are some monastic practices I have learned while staying in monasteries that will help you slow your life.
1. For nearly 20 years now I have recited the daily office. It is a profound resource and will cause you to reflect on Scripture throughout the day. Light a candle when you read them at night. It helps set the time apart.
2. Have a family candlelit compline service on Sunday evenings. It’s beautiful
3’. Cultivate your own early morning holy hour. Do part liturgy, part Lectio Divina, and part journaling your conversations / prayers with Christ
4. Teach yourself Lectio Divina, and it’s movements. To pray this way with Scripture is powerful, and will teach you a great deal
5. Consider doing the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises in Everyday Life (SEEL). This isn’t just for Catholics. I am Protestant and I lead these retreats. It will also teach you some contemplative practices that will pause your life.
6. Take a long walk every day and sing.
7. Light candles every night at dinner.
8. Practice Stillness and listen for the still, small voice Elijah heard after the storms and the fires and the earthquakes. God is there, despite the noise.
9. Take up fly fishing or watercolors. They help.
Love to you from Tacoma,
Annie
I feel exactly the same, life is far too busy and connected. I too am on a similar journey.
Best Wishes
Sarah x
Dear Shaye,
“Blessed are they who never read a newspaper, for they shall see Nature, and through her, God.” — Thoreau to Parker Pillsbury, 10 April 1861
I am so on board with wanting the simple life. My husband and college age daughter annoy me at family mealtimes. Yes we are sitting together, but the constant ding from their cell phones shatters the reason we are having a quiet meal together in the first place. Then the compulsion they have to look at their phone notifications drives me into despair.
Thank you all here for showing me that I’m not alone in this feeling.
Amen! I discovered your vlog after unplugging from FB and yet still needing a tech “fix”. At some point I’ll get off this tech too, but meanwhile I am enjoying things differently. 🙂
Thank you for voicing my feelings so eloquently.
I continually have so much in common with you! Getting married on Saturday and can’t wait to start our life together! On the beeswax candles, do you always make your own? Or do you recommend getting a certain kind?