Someone asked me the other day what the best parenting advice I'd received is. And there's been some good stuff, that's for sure. One of my favorites is:
If you don't want you child to act like the world revolves around them, don't treat them that way.
Good one. That's a good one.
One of the most useful tools I'd been “gifted” as a first time parent, without a doubt, has been this beauty:
Babywise.
Sweet, sweet Babywise.
Yes it takes effort, but none-the-less, an amazing tool.
After seeing my friend Natali easily lay her then one and a half year old down for bed (no tears, no screaming, no fussing), I was amazed. How'd you do that? I asked. I wanted to be able to do that!
Enter: Babywise.
The basic premise is this: When your baby is born, you begin teaching them to take a full feeding. Then, after the first few days, begin implementing a consistent eat, sleep, wake cycle throughout their day (always ensuring they receive a full feeding). When they are really little, the feedings will be consistently 2-2.5 hours apart and as they baby grows older, the feedings will slowly stretch to 2.5-3 hours apart and then 3-3.5 hours apart. Each day, you must work at keeping their routine consistent. Eat. Wake time. Sleep.
Sometimes, this means laying them down for the “sleep” portion and letting them cry (ahem, coo) themselves to sleep.
Sometimes, this means letting them just play in their crib until they fall asleep.
Sometimes, (most often when they are little), it means flicking their feet to keep the awake enough to take a full feeding! Full feedings are essential!
The goal of Babywise is this: Get baby to sleep through the night. A sweet, ideal for any parent to strive for.
And let me just tell ya…
…it works!!!!!!
Georgia began sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. Every night. It was wonderful. Eventually, as she grew older, we were able to drop her last night time feeding, and in a few more weeks, she had progressed to sleeping 10 hours a night. For the past eight months, she has been sleeping for 12 hours. Every night. Straight through.
It's AWESOME.
Not only has she learned how to put herself to sleep at bedtime and naptime (thus avoiding the rocking, walking, driving, anything-to-get-the-baby-to-sleep routine), but she is also a happy baby.
People tell me all the time how lucky I am to have such a happy baby. And trust me, I know I have been blessed. But it's also been a lot of work! Effort went into establishing her Babywise routine – she wasn't just born this way! It took planning & consistent practice on our part.
As a first time parent, it was such a relief to not have to ‘guess' what was wrong with her if she began fussing. Based on her cycle and daily schedule, I knew if she was fussing because she was hungry or tired. It completely took the un-certainty out of dealing with a new wee-one. Babywise is based loosely on scheduled feedings (though they're not set in stone) and therefore, there it is not an on-demand feeding program.
I like this idea though for a few reasons:
1. If you teach baby to take a full feeding, they naturally will ‘demand' to be fed within the scheduled time. It doesn't take them long to fall into this routine.
2. It allowed me to nurse a set amount of times per day, consistently. This helped me to avoid not having enough milk and/or becoming engorged. My milk supply remained consistent, helping make breastfeeding a success.
3. I was able to schedule baby's routine around my life, not my life around the baby. As much as I love little G-baby, I surely don't want her to grow up thinking the world revolves around her pretty lil' self.
I tell you this because I love sleep. And my guess is you do to.
I couldn't live without my sweet sleep. Seriously. I would just shrivel up into an emotional brain-fart and die. One. Needs. Sleep.
So if you have a baby… or are pregnant (I'm so jealous!)…or are even considering one day procreating…I highly recommend that you read this book. HIGHLY.
As a young parent, I'm sure you hate it when people are constantly giving you “how-to” advice. Well….too bad. I'm going to be one of those people.
That's how much I love Babywise. Available HERE.
As usual, I will now step off my soapbox.
Ahem.
The end.
kstrunk1972
Love this! I used Babywise with both of my children now ages 12 and 8. I followed it precisely every day. Both were sleeping through the night by 9-10 weeks. My son was 6 weeks premature and still was sleeping through the night by 9 weeks old. And you are right, it takes work and consistency. People thought I was crazy or depriving my babies somehow but it is really the best gift you can give them…a routine. And it allows you to be at your best because you are getting enough sleep too. It also came as a shock to people but when my son was in the NICU guess what…they had him and all of the other babies on a schedule. Yes, there was a feeding schedule, I couldn’t just go feed him whenever I wanted. This book was my best friend through both babies and I would highly reccomend it to anyone with a baby but you have to be willing to follow what it says to do.
Jill @ The Prairie Homestead
I too, love this book! I followed it with our daughter (now 17 months) and she was sleeping through the night and eating on schedule at a very young age. It made her more happy and content, knowing what to expect!
But- a word of warning- people have some very, very heated opinions about this book. I have seen it massacred on various websites… I still have yet to understand why some people have such problems that some people have with it, but I am very careful when I talk about it in public, ha!
I suppose it is because it goes against the principles of attachment-parenting. And for all my other hippie activities (extended breastfeeding, cloth diapers…) I just never could agree with the AP principles. (*dodges flying objects*)
But anyway, yes, great book! 🙂
Jess R. Monnette
One of the principles that I appreciate is that the child learns from the beginning that he or she has become part of a family. One side of that is love and nurture from parents/siblings to child, the other side is the child learning to live on the family’s schedule (very loosely at first and progressively more) and thereby love them back.
And before long, (e.g. 9 weeks?) everyone in the family (including baby) is happy.
Lyda
Very interesting! I saw this book at the bookstore the other day. (ok, I admit I was venturing into that section that I have not ventured before!) The only thing I see being difficult for many mothers is that feeling of depriving your child maybe? I don’t know how many people I know/have met that simply can not let their baby cry in the crib in order to sleep. Like Jill said, there’s “attachment parenting” that gets in the way of this. My sister had a hell of a time with her three kids, getting them to sleep through the night and quit breast feeding, but I know that she didn’t have this routine that you talk about. Or a crib. Maybe the crib has a lot to do with it.
Again, putting this in that back pocket. Maybe my husband will come home from work one day and I’ll be reading it. See what he says. That might be hilarious.
Carrie
I gave you a Liebster award. Check it out…http://littlepatchofheavenhomestead.blogspot.com/2011/09/blog-love.html
Love your blog!
Anonymous
I did this with my son and at 2 years old, he goes to bed every night without a fight and sleeps about 11-12 hours per night.
The only down side we found was that he could ONLY sleep in his crib. It’s been a challenge getting him to sleep at grandma & grandpa’s or while on vacation… But we’re working at it and it’s getting better 🙂
Anonymous
Hi! I just started reading your blog and came across this post. I am expecting my first baby in January and have had some parents suggest this book to me. I was just wondering about the whole cry it out thing. How long would you let your little one cry it out and did it get to eventually where she wouldn’t cry anymore when you laid her down for beds or a nap? Was there a limit to how long you would let her cry because I feel like I would have trouble going longer than a half an hour. Also I have heard a lot of criticism about this book among medical professionals with known cases of babywise babies having failure to thrive, dehydration and low milk supply. How do you answer to these criticisms because it seems to work for some parents such as yourself? Thanks for the advice.
Michelle
Amy
I like the principles of doing a consistent routine, but for me, the book made me feel like a failure. It made me feel like, if I didn’t see the awesome results my friends did, I was doing something wrong. In fact, I had lots of people tell me that it was my fault that my kids were not on a great schedule. They told me I wasn’t “doing it right”.
I couldn’t get my baby to take a full feeding because I had low milk supply (and I did ALL the tricks to increase it, believe me) and even when I switched to formula, I couldn’t get my baby to eat more than a certain amount without spitting up a lot.
I don’t doubt that the book works well for many, but I’ve found a surprising lack of empathy for those who have hoped it would work for them and it didn’t.
Shaye Elliott
I think there is a surprising lack of empathy in general for people, don’t you? I really dislike that. There is no one-size-fits-all Mama – I’m sure you’re doing FANTASTIC.
Chandra Fryer
Trying this for the first time today, though my son is 10 1/2 months old. I let him cry for over an hour.
How long are you supposed to let him cry? The entire two hour nap time? I have to add that, no matter where our how he sleeps, he doesn’t nap for two hours! He’s just not that kind of kid.
Amy
Did this with baby #1. He slept through the night early. He thinks the world revolves around him. Did this with baby #2. She slept through the night early. She thinks the world revolves around her. (And when I say did this, I mean to. the. letter.) Did our own thing with baby #3 that really leaned toward attachment parenting, and he did not sleep through the night early. But guess what, he does not think the world revolves around him! It depends on the child, folks.
suzy
This post is old as the hills i know but I HAVE TO COMMENT. thank you Shaye for saying it. Thank you thank you thank you. Do you know how incredibly many judgemental looks we got for putting our baby on a “schedule”? To the point where i feel the need to apologize for it. And doubt ourselves. And everything. But. We HAVE A SUPER HAPPY BABY. and if the baby is happy can you judge? Can you? And sleeping through night at 10 weeks? I dont remember exactly when babes slept through the night but it was around 10 or 12 weeks. And yes. We worked for it. It didnt just “happen”.