Homesteading is anything but what you'd expect. While the picturesque images of glowing, clean farms atop a meadowy hilltop are certainly wonderful, truth is, that's not reality. Yes, there are moments of picturesque beauty – don't get me wrong. And often times as I'm squeezing the first drops of the day's milk into an empty bucket, peering over my shoulder at the sunrise, I feel as if I'm living in that perfect farm beauty that so many of us long for deep in our soul.
Yes, there are those moments.
And then there are the other moments. The moments that cause a farmer to take a step back and contemplate what it is they're trying to do and frankly, if it's worth the emotional and physical effort.
There comes the moment when all farmers must begin dealing with death on the homestead.
Allow me to start at the beginning.
A few months back, Stuart and I decided that we'd like to raise even more meat on our homestead. The chickens and pigs have been wonderful additions to the farm, no doubt, but we still desired to grow and invest in animals that could help us manage the virgin landscape and supplement our meat supply even further. We were fortunate to run across a blogger friend of mine that just so happened to be transitioning from raising meat sheep to a dairy operation. They had a ewe and buck for sale from their registered Katahdin line and we prayerfully made the decision to bring them onto Beatha Fonn Farm to live with us as the very first of our breeding livestock (exception of our dairy cow, Sal).
As many smallholders know, making a decision to invest in breeding livestock is anything but an easy decision. There is the future to think about. And goals. And feed costs. And monetary investment into quality genetic lines.
After making the decision to bring Cincy (the ram) and Conky (whom we renamed Gladys) onto the farm, we anxiously awaited their arrival. Conky was bred and we were happy (albeight excited!) to let her finish out her pregnancy on her current farm. We were to bring her home after she lambed.
I sent many an email to our friend. “How's our girl doing?” “Any babies yet?” “Can't wait to get her here!”
Four months of waiting!
Like an anxious mother, I anticipated her arrival and the arrival of her lambs. The pasture was fenced and shelter was built. The water trough in place. The hay beginning to stack up in the barn.
And then, two days ago, I received notice that Gladys had given birth to twins! And then, further notice, that Gladys hadn't survived the birth.
My heart ached. For her current farm and for the future of ours. I know the farm that Gladys called home and you'd be hard pressed to find farmers who love their animals more than them. I know she was well cared for. I know she was loved. I know that her death caused pain.
The death of a breeding animal is never easy.
You see, it's different for us homesteaders. Certain animals are raised with the intention of food – and though it sounds odd, the connection with these animals is real, but quite different than that of a connection with a breeding animal. Meat animals are cared for and appreciated for their time on the farm. Breeding animals are loved.
And loosing an animal that is loved is never an easy thing. Even for the homesteader who can easily slaughter their meat animals.
After we reeled with the reality of Gladys' death, we began to play over the variety of options available to us. Should we still do sheep or was this some sort of divine sign that we needed to rethink the idea? Should we still bring Cincy to the farm? What about Gladys' lambs? And what about that delicious red meat we were hoping to harvest for the freezer this fall?
Again, we spent time in prayer and in conversation. Many a homesteading problem can be solved by prayer, a strong cup of coffee, and good conversation. And that's a fact, Jack.
The plan, as of now, is to bring Cincy (the ram) to the farm. We will also be bringing a pair of twins, a ewe and a ram, onto the farm that were born at the end of February (from a different mother). The ewe will be raised for new breeding stock. The ram will be raised for meat, to be harvested in the fall. Lastly, we decided to bring Gladys' ewe lamb (just a few days old) onto the farm as well.
The new lamb will require to be bottle fed for about 8 weeks – a huge time and emotional commitment on our part. And yet, for some reason, part of us feels like it's just appropriate to bring Gladys' daughter onto the farm – to carry on what her sweet mother could not. This ewe lamb will also be raised for breeding stock and her and the other ewe (yet unnamed) will be the future of our Beatha Fonn Katahdin sheep.
As the good Lord would have it, we have a dairy cow that is more than happy to share her milk with an orphaned lamb.
And Stuart has the summer off from teaching, which allows him more free time to devote to helping me feed, raise, and train this new lamb.
As with all of our animals, I don't anticipate this learning curve will be easy. But I do anticipate it will be worth it. Livestock require an incredible amount of energy and commitment from their owners – especially when milking and feeding is involved. Yet, of all the things we do on the homestead, I find the relationships we get to build with our “here to stay” animals the most rewarding of all our endeavors.
Loosing an animal is never easy. And yet, the homesteader presses on.
We learn. We adapt. We pray. We weep. And then we keep on truckin'.
raisingcropsandbabies
Are you adding some fat to the raw milk first (like an egg or some lamb replacer to up the fat content)? I’ve been bottlefeeding un-owned lambs for 8 years now (and my husband’s family has been raising sheep for 6 generations and gives the same warning…) and let me just warn you… lambs like to die any chance they get. They are adorable and make your heart melt and are the dumbest little things. There is definitely a reason we are compared to sheep in the Bible! I did 3 part series on “Sheeple” on my blog even! haha. Some advice: check on them often (they like to get stuck and if that happens they will shut their bodies down and die), don’t overfeed them, be aware of white muscle disease/overeating disease, worm them when it’s time. Oh and look into your local FFA chapter or county extension office for sheep shearing classes.
They are addicting to have and will frustrate you too. There is your warning. 🙂
Cary
Katahdin are hair sheep, aren’t they? I don’t believe they’ll have to shear them…
Shaye Elliott
Yes, they don’t grow fleece like other sheep.
Aleeya
I think babies should come with this warning. Well, not the die any chance they will get part but overall, that was the best warning I’ve ever read.
Shaye Elliott
How many eggs would you add to a gallon of milk to get it up to the correct fat content? Thank you for your advice!
raisingcropsandbabies
I’d do a couple eggs per quart and then add some lamb replacer too. You don’t have to add a bunch of it, but I’d add some.
Tina
You are so absolutely right. There is a difference between breeding stock and non-breeding stock. I’m so glad I am not the only one to feel that way. Being the only ones in our circle of friends and family to attempt this lifestyle, we often feel like others don’t understand. We care for all the lives on our little homestead, and want them all to have happy days and sunshine for their allotted time. So when something unexpected happens to them, it can be emotionally devastating. And no matter how many times it’s happened, we can’t help but stop and question what we are doing and why. And it can be so painful, we want to quit. Thank you for sharing.
Kelli
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who starts to think this way when things begin to go sour on the farm. I lost one of my favorite goats during birthing, had my rabbit eat all of her first litter of kits, lost chickens and soooo many other problems…and I really began to doubt if I was listening to God or not when I started out on this adventure. I found out its all part of learning and living this lifestyle. I’m just glad I’m not the only one who has struggled with this question. Makes me feel like I’m not alone and that we really can do this.
Stacey
I so needed to read this today. My family doesn’t understand my love for our breeding animals either. So nice to know I am not weird or alone.
Life Breath Present
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of Gladys (for the original owner and yourselves). I can’t wait to read about your adventures in sheep raising and the love that’ll grow in caring for them 🙂
Cary
Dear Shaye, I hesitate to share advice because I imagine you have folks in your area who are helping you along (maybe even the flock owners where your sheep are coming from) but I would at least caution, (as another comment did) about feeding lambs cow milk. There are probably some who’ve done it successfully, some who’ve maybe used goats milk, too, but a sheep make-up is different – much more fat, protein and calcium so while you’re lamb might appear to be eating enough her health could be compromised. What are her current owners giving her? I assume they’re getting her started for you. Another consideration would be – don’t change her feed from whatever they are giving her now, at least not for a while and then very, very slowly 😉 Bottle lambs also seem to have a habit of going along just fine and then dying on you unexpectedly – and of course, your heart is even more broken because you’re so attached to them!
If it were me, thinking of adding this bottle lamb ewe as breeding stock, I would want to be sure her mother had genetics and traits that I would consider NEEDING in my brood flock. Why did her mom die at birthing? Had she had other successful births? My husband (a retired farm veterinarian) always says you can end up with enough problems in livestock that there is no reason to take a chance on ones you already know about 😉 All that being said, bottle lambs bring so much to a small farm especially when you have youngsters as you do. Our grandchildren enjoy them, even when they know that we won’t be keeping them. Bottle raised ewes can still grow to be good mothers – I have a wonderful example of that in my flock right now, my “Francie”
I hope I haven’t rambled on to much! I know that you and your husband will choose what’s best for you and that your friends who have the sheep flock are already helping you out, but just wanted to share some personal experiences from a fellow shepherd across the country from you 😉 I grew up with sheep, and have had my own flock for most of my adult life – a lot of bottle lambs have crossed my path over the years, some of the most joyous and most heartbreaking of all our sheep memories! Just remember…if you raise a flock of your own for any length of time, you’ll have your own bottle lamb soon enough! God Bless and we’ll look forward to hearing how it goes for you
Shaye Elliott
Cary, I very much appreciate your advice. Thank you for it! All will be thought about and prayed about!
Aleeya
I am sorry to hear about Gladys as well. It may be good to have to deal with this early on in this part of your journey so you know what you’re getting into from the start. Losing an animal is never easy.
Margaret Anne @ Natural Chow
Death of an animal you love can be so hard (I know from personal experience), but always know that the Lord has your back and that you are strong enough to work through life’s obstacles. This story is so inspirational! Sending prayers your way. 🙂
nina
Oh I’ve been thinking about raising sheep for so long now, I’m really looking forward to your tips and stories! And maybe recipes?
Peggy
Thank you for your post. My husband and I have a small farm where we raise Katahdin sheep and alpacas.
You put into words what I have felt over the loss of life on our farm. We have lost one lamb and one alpaca cria and one baby Pygmy goat. It always hurts our hearts. Then we are raising some Jersey calves for meat. We just try to do our best and trust God for the rest. I enjoy your blog.
Shaye Elliott
It does hurt the heart. Stay strong, Peggy! Glad to have you here!