It's funny, being a blogger. I get to share pieces of my life with an almost anonymous audience, set somewhere out in the world wide web. And yet here you are… praying for me… encouraging me… challenging me.
You know that Stuart hates beans. And you know that I have two uteri.
I mean, come on, that practically makes us family! When one talks about their internal reproductive organs, you know you're close.
As I was photographing the most phenomenal dessert for our new cookbook Farm Fresh (!!!!!!) tonight, I was chuckling taking the photographs. Little hands kept coming by the table and swiping the plums.
Stuart kept removing the Americano to take sips.
And I had to stand just right to keep the dirty dishes from sneaking into the frame.
But then… I thought to myself: Self, why? Why don't you share the reality?
Because as beautiful as the food and the life look in pictures (and trust me, it IS beautiful!) there's an entire other element to life. That is, the mess around the fringes of the occasional picture-perfect dish. The disgruntled children. The exhausted mother. The dirty floors. There is life in this home! Want to see life behind the lens?
Hmm… where to begin…
Ahh yes, the kitchen sink. Try as I may, 90% of the time, this is what it looks like. What I say? I love to cook. And cooking produces dishes.
At first I thought he ventured over to the dishwasher to unload it for me so that I could tackle that ginourmous pile of dishes, but in reality, he was pulling out some clean shot glasses for the espresso machine. Coffee? How can I say no to that?
I can't. Rhetorical question.
On the other side of the kitchen is this: remnants of supper, sip cups, an almost-empty-bottle of one of my favorite Zinfandel wines from a local winery, a table cloth that the children refuse to leave alone, and that little fuzzy haired guy in the background…
Aww! There he is. Disgusting. Probably poopy. Greasy. I bet there's even chunks of zucchini stuck in his neck roll.
But dang is he cute. Well, at least he will be after a bath.
Also, if someone could explain to me how my son ended up with the hair of a 94 year old man, I'd love to hear.
And the other son? Well, he's wearing Georgia's shirt and racing tractors on the disgusting floor instead of finishing his supper. Obviously.
Georgia's busy hiding in this cardboard box, aka “the secret hiding place” so that I won't make her finish her supper either. Whatever, children.
Speaking of children (and back at the kitchen sink), the littlest pulled this jar of garlic kraut off the table while I was taking pictures. Broken glass. Stinky kraut. Ah yes. Delicious! And yet somehow, I couldn't get myself to throw it away? All that goodness? Is it worth the risk of chewing glass?
Okay, now that I type that out, it's probably not. I'll go throw it away now. Don't yell at me.
You know what else I can see from where I'm standing? My porch that always. has. stuff. on. it. ALWAYS.
Including two cats the live under the outdoor cook stove and two turkeys that live in the kennel until they're big enough to join the chickens. And a giant pot of old tomatoes for the pigs. And my harvest basket. And a bunch of other junk that never gets put away because, well, I have no idea why.
Speaking of putting things away, hello laundry room. Hello laundry. Remember earlier this morning when that basket was completely empty and all the power tools were put away? Ya. Me too.
See that apron? That's the apron of a working woman, my friends. What you see in front of the lens may be put together, structured, and beautiful. And behind the lens, I'd like to say that it is too – at least, in a way. Sure, there are dishes. There are messes. There is that little thing called reality, but isn't it all beautiful?
It reminds me that we're human. We're alive.
And speaking of alive, someone's about to be much more alive after that espresso. Maybe I can convince him to do the dishes for me after all.
Oh, before I let you go, let me really lay the icing on the cake thick with this gem from last week. I'd ventured out to the garden for herbs and came back inside to find this:
Y'all. You can't even make this stuff up.
Go feel better about yourself now.
And send help. And a cleaning lady.
And Amen.
Rachel
August 15, 2015 at 9:49 pmMy laundry room and porch both look extraordinarily similar, however my outlook could probably improve slightly with an espresso machine ? messes and chaos are usually the product of happy and creative children (or husbands. Usually husbands.)
DaNelle
August 15, 2015 at 10:03 pmHaha, how can you simultaneously make me laugh and cry in EVERY. POST? You, my dear, have a gift.
Deanna McCambridge
August 15, 2015 at 10:06 pmMy house looks worse, no matter how much I clean. My 3 boys (including my husband) come through and make a mess. I like to think of my life as the Doctor Seuss book “How Lucky You Are”. I think of myself as poor Mr Boffin who has to repair his Borfin every morning because somewhere in the middle of the night it breaks. Off to clean the pink ring out of the bathtub. Just kidding about the color.
Philothea
August 16, 2015 at 5:41 amI have the same laundry baskets! Got them years ago at a yard sale. My house is like this, too. There is just not enough time in a day!
Gabi
August 16, 2015 at 8:12 amFantastic post! 😀
Life With The Crew
August 16, 2015 at 8:15 amI always remember that one time I posted a recipe for something and my last photo was of the kitchen sink, post cooking. I had a couple of comments from people who totally loved that I showed that shot. We all have to keep in mind when we see these pretty photos in blogland, which we think are photos of people’s actual pretty lives, that most of them are posed. And when the front of my house looks like a recycling center/construction site/just plain mess (I know, not too PC of me), I remind myself that it is because my husband actually does stuff around the house instead of paying other people to do it and that results in mess. But that last shot of yours with the eggs – OH MY GOODNESS! Cat knock it over or kid? Kid blaming it on the cat?!
Lisa Tucker
August 16, 2015 at 8:57 amLoved it all!! Life is messy! Sure I will start browsing and looking at the blogs about the “beautiful houses” and the organization and the perfect clothes but I get bored real quick and turn it off. My favorite blogs show real life and beautiful messy children and chickens and chores and broken eggs………..;) Thank you for sharing…….I love your blog!!
Kayla
August 16, 2015 at 2:03 pmHi! I just wanted to take a minute to tell you how much I appreciate your honesty in all of your blogs. It really takes courage to tell the whole web about your mess ups, but let me tell you, I love you and your blog for it. So many blogs just show you the “good” side of their farms, and it’s honestly so encouraging to see how you too are human and remind us that everybody has those days. Thank you for being such an encourager through the things in your life that must feel much less than encouraging. Keep up the good work. I love your blog, BTW. 🙂
Courtney Jones
August 16, 2015 at 7:47 pmThank you for this. It’s so nice to see beyond the highlight reel. It seems like as women we are always in competition with one another. When you enter the motherhood phase it’s no different. There’s all these categories of moms: the crafty mom, the organic only mom, the mom with the kids in perfect boutique clothing, the sporty mom, etc. The reality is we are all so imperfectly perfect at this motherhood thing and some days are really bad. Then, there’s those days where you just look at your beautiful children and cry happy tears because of how much you love them and sad tears because of how quickly the time is slipping away.
season
August 17, 2015 at 7:02 amLoved this post! My kitchen can never stay clean longer than 5 minutes, but I always say you gotta make a mess if ya wanna eat! I love the pic. of Owen wearing Georgia’s shirt cracks me up. The last picture I just had to laugh I can only imagine how you felt when you walked in to that. I love your blog and have been reading it for years.
Colleen
August 17, 2015 at 9:49 amOH THANK GOD IT’S NOT JUST ME!!!! PHEW!!!
Kaye
August 17, 2015 at 11:37 pmThere’s a beauty in chaos, especially chaos from a life well-lived. Perfect homes are a sign of boring lives.
Tara
August 18, 2015 at 2:00 amThank you for this. I feel like that last picture with the eggs is my life every day with my two little ones. And me 8 months pregnant just barely able to keep up with things, falling perpetually behind. Whew. I’m glad I’m not alone. Can’t wait to check out the new cook book!
Lynette
August 18, 2015 at 1:13 pmI have been reading your blog for about two years now and have never made a comment. But this post is worthy of it. I can’t pass up the opportunity to thank you for sharing the realities of the beautiful and yet always maddeningly unfinished business of motherhood. I am going to go pick my garden now, if I can find it among the weeds. …. Keep reminding all of us, and yourself, about what really matters.
Rancher Girl
August 18, 2015 at 1:26 pmHere’s my motto… Cleaning your house while your kids are growing is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing. Enjoy your time with your babies! They soon will grow and be gone!
XOXO
Brenna
August 18, 2015 at 1:51 pmI just want to thank you (like everyone else). I work full time away from home, have 3 kids, my husband is a firefighter with crazy hours & two dogs & a cat. Our house is always a mess. Our oldest daughter just moved back home (paying rent while in college is expensive!) and we had nowhere to put her, so she moved into our dining room. My son was not about to give up his own room after sharing with his sisters for the past 14 years! 🙂 I have a very tiny kitchen and stuff brewing in the den because I ran out of room in the kitchen (Jun & kraut). I’m just glad to see life goes on for others! That and a husband who likes a good coffee &/or wine late in the day too. Maybe one day I’ll be brave enough to take pictures to share as well! Thanks Shaye!
Dania
August 18, 2015 at 2:45 pmOh Shaye, thank you for being so real. I desperately needed this today. Our kiddos are all roughly the same age (mine are 4y, 2y, and 10m) and my goodness this mama’s sanity seems to have been left behind somewhere. Sigh.
Amanda
August 19, 2015 at 9:16 amI love this type of post! Even through all the mess, your home still looks like a place I would love to visit (and have wine, coffee and any type of meal!) because you can see and feel the love through the mess. You are truly living in your home and for that I am jealous! Mine only gets to look like that on the weekends when we are home!
Libby Gontarz
August 19, 2015 at 11:10 amAh, NOW I know you have a perfect life! Love the insight into real family activity. Makes your work and recipes even more amazing in my eyes. How on earth do you have TIME to do all that or even take the pictures? Blessings on you and your family.
Ally | A Home Called Shalom
August 19, 2015 at 11:12 amHaha I love this post!
It’s so real, so honest, so transparent, to share those messy parts of life with the people on the other side of the screen. And sometimes the beauty and the blessings are right there in those broken, messy places.
(Even though I’m kind of crying over the eggs… a dozen at the grocery store cost me over $3 this week. I need me some chickens.)
irush
August 19, 2015 at 11:45 amI keep reading your posts, you are so real ladie! That’s the life viewed as it is with humor. Thank u!
Kathy
August 19, 2015 at 12:15 pmShaye, you are such a inspiration to all the moms with little kids. Brings me back to those days when mine were little. My house is lways a mess and i dont have any human little kids. I do have a 40 yr old daughter living with us and 2 big catahoula dogs and 5 little dogs. Also we have 2 cats, 28 goats and 20+ chickens. So between feeding everyone, milking the goats, collecting the eggs and gardening i dont have much time for cleaning. My hubby and daughter help when they can but they both have jobs. The weekends are busy with grandkids showing up wanting to swim and play with the critters. And of course Sunday is church time. Nwhy cant there be more than 24 hrs in a day. Have a blessed day and week!
Stephanie
August 19, 2015 at 1:31 pmYou know you’re truly friends with someone when they let you come into their messy house. Thanks for going against the grain of internet fake perfection and showing it’s ok to be a real mom. Children get older and the house gets cleaner one day. Until then almost everyone gets a floorfull of broken eggs at least once. Or once per kid.
Alicia
August 19, 2015 at 2:16 pmMy toddler seems to have egg radar…I’ve lost track of the number of times he’s gotten into the eggs!
Kitty
August 19, 2015 at 3:25 pmEven your messes are artistically placed!! If only mine looked that good…LOL
Lynsey
August 19, 2015 at 11:05 pmOh, you do always post just what I need to hear. In our home, the dogs are my enemies and so much of my stress. I wish they would stay outside but our bulldog feels he’s our 4th kid and cries louder than the rest.
PS have you always loved cooking? I love the IDEA of it but every time I try, or think of trying I just get overwhelmed by intimidation.
Sheri
August 20, 2015 at 8:31 amYour lives and the “Truth” are beautiful! Your surely blessed!
Kimberly
August 20, 2015 at 10:19 amThank you.
Lisa Weinke
August 20, 2015 at 12:00 pmA most beautiful piece of heaven. Thank-you Shaye for sharing your world.
Melissa
August 21, 2015 at 3:21 pmOh my gosh, lol! Thank you for sharing and being REAL!!!
Kara
August 21, 2015 at 9:03 pmLove this post and the Pyrex in the sink! 😉
Josephine/Pinky
August 21, 2015 at 9:03 pmThank you for the refreshing look at you home and life, lovely children and adorable husband as well. I am not a proponent of everyone having to have a spotless home. MY MIL on the other hand is. Would you believe, I came home to find my in-laws, step-daughter and her partner, at my house and throwing out my stuff! WITHOUT asking me??????? I have a bad heart and anxiety/panic attacks, I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack right then and there! It was stuff that was out side, but it was not all trash. I mean they were throwing out cat carriers (yes we have a cat and two dogs). They threw out a vintage galvanized chick feeder (I dug one out, but I am still missing the one with the hens and chicks planted in it). horse shoes, galvanized flower containers, planters. ON & on. Personally, I think she has a mental disorder OCD about cleanliness. Oh but she chained smoked while the kids were young (even while pregnant) and now she has COPD and her son, my husband, is on oxygen because of all the 2nd hand smoke he was exposed to.
robin
August 21, 2015 at 9:40 pmIt was a great thing for you to take the Leap and post the behind-the-scenes scenes! I have marvelled at the frequency of your blog, read with interest your blog and copied recipes from your blog, all the time wondering, “HOW DOES SHE DO IT!??” A homesteader with a picture-perfect house… So, it’s good to share the nitty-gritty details, as well as the perfect product. Keep on reducing waste! reusing containers, encouraging homemade eats and other tips for sane, attainable, sustainable living.
PattyB
August 22, 2015 at 11:40 amMamas…. teach your boys to put their things away. Then they won’t end up like my hubby (and I love him dearly anyway) and leave everything out on the kitchen counter. Tools, junk mail, empty boxes from the UPS delivery, a new motor mount he just got and will be installing in the van, etc. When I ask him why he didn’t put away this or that he says he doesn’t know where it goes. Really!?! Didn’t he just get it out from where it belongs???? He will get something out from under the bathroom sink, use it and leave it on the sink. A wife can’t undo what the mother-in-law did. Impossible. So mamas, teach your boys to put away their things after they are finished using them. You will have a loving daughter-in-law. my 2 cents.
Betty Tracy
August 25, 2015 at 9:53 amThank you.
From a Mom very much guilty of cropping out backgrounds and choosing pictures to share based on which one shows the less mess.
Ali
August 27, 2015 at 1:16 pmYou are doing great with 3 toddlerish kids and a busy growing farm. You said to send help but God already sent it to you. Those three beautiful kids will be a HUGE help before you know it. And he gave you a girl first! If she’s anything like my daughter (who started asking for sponges, baking soda, and vinegar when she was 3.5 to clean the tub while she took a shower) she will be more help than you can imagine soon. My baby girl turning 11 in 2 weeks and she does dishes, sweeps and mops, keeps her room clean, organizes and picks up messes, reminds her brothers (older and younger) to help clean up and do their animal chores, and make me pretty flower arrangements:) And she can even bake a quiche! I call her my fairy godmother. She blesses me everyday in too many ways to count. Even though my boys (14 & 8) are more on the lazy side, they too help lighten the load each day. My oldest is our stall mucker and takes care of the goats. What a blessing that is! My youngest helps his sister clean the chicken coops, collects eggs a couple times a day, and takes care of the barn cats. My daughter takes care of the hogs and her bunnies. I still have to check and make sure everybody is doing what they are suppose to and make sure nobody is dying of thirst but their help is priceless!! Life is beautiful while they are young and messy but its also beautiful when they are older, still messy, but can help clean up:) As such, I only have to do laundry for 2, my house is a little bit cleaner and I am a little less exhausted than I was 5 years ago. All you young mamas take heart and enjoy your babies and their infinite messes. Your help just needs a few more years to grow:)
Elaine Sarchet
August 30, 2015 at 4:09 amYou only have to look at those happy children’s faces to know that you’ve got your priorities absolutely right – they grow up so quickly so it’s a very special time which I loved. Great Blog!
Casey Johnson
September 4, 2015 at 11:33 amIm pretty much in love with your table cloth… Where did you get it?
Heidi
September 14, 2015 at 3:02 pmI love this post the most!!!! It is the mirror image of our little homestead, especially the porch with the kennel, there is always some displaced critter in a kennel (sick baby goat, too small chicks, rabbit, etc.) I walk by the ridiculous things that accumulate there every single day and hope and pray the fed ex guy doesn’t come and think we are shameful people!!!! It’s so refreshing that there is someone else out there who is honest about all of the mess that homesteading and child-rearing creates. Despite that there is always work to be done, there is still good food and fun to be had!
Olivia Watson
September 19, 2015 at 8:24 pmMmm, it’s so encouraging to see another mom’s real life! Thank you for sharing, Shaye! Now WHERE did you get your harvest basket? In. Love.
Amy Lynn Reifsnyderr
September 22, 2018 at 10:05 pmHey,
I realize I’m about three years behind this post, but THANK YOU for posting what goes on behind the lens!
I am a writer/teacher/gardener/ and soon to be chicken and rabbit farmer (again).
It always amazes me when I go on garden tours, or tours of writers’ houses, that everything is in order and there are no dishes multiplying on their own on the counter, no trail of laundry from the bedroom to the bathroom to the laundry room, no dogs prancing around wanting to help with whatever is going on.
I appreciate your candid approach to life.
Thank you for sharing.