Friends, I have some bad news. I don't know anything. Okay, well that's not entirely true… I know a few things, most of which revolves around the fact of how little I know. And I'm ever reminded of just this when I dare to venture onto Pinterest (which we all know I have a love/hate relationship with).
While browsing for flooring options, I happened upon no less than 183,381 articles and blog posts that lead me in all different directions but promised infinite knowledge, happiness, order, and deliciousness.
“How To Milk A Cow Perfectly The First Time”
“The World's Best Chocolate Cake”
“How To Teach Your Children To Obey”
“Top 10 Things To Do Before You Start Your Day”
“You Suck At Life. Do, Know, Cook, and Accomplish All These Things To Feel Better About Yourself”
… Okay, fine, I made that last one up. But in a way, it's how I felt. And then, to make it worse, I felt guilty that I couldn't offer you – my dear readers and friends – any mind blowing knowledge about… anything.
Because the reality is, behind every screen and every “Top 5” or “How To” post is a writer that is just like you, and you, and you, figuring it all out and failing along the way. I could write a post on the Top 20 things to do before you start a farm, but frankly, I'm still figuring that out as well. The world is a place of trial-and-error.
I don't know the perfect way to do anything. I know the way that we do it, and sharing our experiences with you is one of my greatest joys, but they are certainly not perfect.
We've lost more animals than I care to count because of our mistakes, lack of knowledge, and naivety. I've cooked some pretty dang delicious food, the recipes of which I will gladly send your way, but I've also cooked plenty of bad meals. And we eat eggs for supper more often than I'd like to admit. I don't know how to sheer a sheep, I'm terrible at managing my rabbit's breedings, and just this last week we lost half of our heritage chicks because only the Lord-knows-what.
I'm growing. I'm learning. And I love it.
Truth be told, I don't really want to have it all figured out. Because how boring would life be if we were never challenged. I enjoy the fact that we've had successes with our livestock and our gardens, but I'm far from being an expert on any of it. Friends, I don't have a solution or a guide book for any of this madness. All I have is a journey that I get to share with you… from behind my little MacBook and camera lens.
I wish that the world would release the tight grip it has on us. You, my dear reader, are loved. Just as you are. You don't need to have mastered tomato planting or child wrangling to be worthy of that. In a world where information is shrieking from our screens and dictating what “should be” in our lives, fight to let go of perfection. Just because there are roughly 3 million lasagna recipes on Google doesn't mean you'll die if you cook the wrong one. Even if it's not that great.
When I was choosing out a farm sink for our kitchen remodel, I literally sat in front of the computer for hours and hours and hours trying to find the right one. I read reviews, articles, measured, remeasured, and then researched more. I acted as if the world would cease to exist if I bought the wrong kitchen sink. Oh, Lord, Shaye went with the double basin! That's it! It's all over! Come on, Shaye. Get over yourself. It's a sink. I get readers emailing me often recounting situations much like this in their own lives. Fear of failure, of a mistake, has completely debilitated them from moving forward at all. And yet they reach out to me… which always makes me chuckle… because failure and mistakes are what I do best.
But here's the reality.
You could spend 2 years researching, designing, and perfecting the construction of a chicken coop – daydreaming with the best of 'em on Pinterest and browsing articles on how an improperly designed coop will completely damage your chicken's mental state (and they'll be damaged for life, no doubt).
Or you could do your best, get out there, and build you a danged chicken coop, yo.
Life isn't about perfection – so let's not let that stop us. Let's take risks. Have experiences. Buy a milk cow when we have no idea how to milk a cow. And learn through our successes and our failures.
I don't want to tell you how to do any of that. And frankly, I hope your not here under the false assumption that, magically, I've got all the answers or have it all together. Lord knows we're a gigantic hot-mess around these parts.
I just want to share my journey with you. And be a part of yours.
I'm glad you're here.
And Amen.
Kayla
May 4, 2016 at 12:42 pmYes. Yes. How are you always so right, Shaye? Your blog posts are the type that I browse through and re-read when I’m having a bad day, and end up 1000 times happier and more equipped to move on with my day. Thank you for all you do! I can’t imagine HOW you do everything you do, but I’m so happy you do. 😀
Thank you!!
Nicole
May 4, 2016 at 12:43 pmOh my gosh! I love this!
I feel the same way, and sometimes wonder what business I have blogging or teaching.
Then, like you said, I remember it’s more about sharing my journey and encouraging others along their way.
It is very humbling though, coming to the realization that you know nothing. But isn’t that what humanity is all about?
Cori
May 4, 2016 at 1:04 pmI know all to well what it feels like to have spent two hours online for the perfect this or that and I never find what I’m looking for in the end! I’ve been deciding more and more to just figure out how to do those things myself. Last night for example, I knew keeper of the homestead blog had a whole wheat biscuit recipe so I went on there to get it. Her recipe had buttermilk and I didn’t. Then I proceeded to look up a recipe without milk, then I thought Seriously replacing it with water isn’t gonna kill us and they can’t turn out so bad. Honestly, they were DELICIOUS! I was really surprised! I pretty much never follow a recipe exactly anyway. Working on shunning some of the extensive researching and figuring it out myself.
Love how honest this is, hence why I read your blog!
Olivia Watson
May 4, 2016 at 1:04 pmLove you, Shaye, even though we’ve never met. I am always encouraged by your humility. The Lord accomplishes MUCH through you. Thanks for this post!
Julie
May 4, 2016 at 1:21 pmYou are awesome! Awesome in your successes and awesome in your failures. And awesome for sharing them ALL with us! I get so tired of only seeing the “perfect” side of people’s lives when all they do is talk about all the crappy stuff behind closed doors so no one knows about it. That’s not real life! You are such a breath of fresh air and I love you for it!!
JC
May 4, 2016 at 2:14 pmTotally just came to an epiphany the other day with these same feelings. SO many things I don’t post about because I’m still learning. It’s crap we can learn from each other and our mistakes. I’m just going to post whats in my heart.
Rachel
May 4, 2016 at 2:20 pmRight on. And even if you did research and discover the perfecto- this-is-it-we-nailed-it-coop, the durn chickens would still poop all over the thing.
Pinterest experts they are not.
Amanda
May 4, 2016 at 3:20 pmYes! I needed this today. 🙂 Thanks for making me smile and easing some of my stress.
MountainMomma
May 4, 2016 at 3:25 pmI have had a really hard time with this because I feel like I have to do something the right way (but preferably the perfect way 🙂 ) the first time. I find it hard to forgive myself for not getting it right, even when I wouldn’t be upset with someone else for the exact same thing. YHWH has been working on my heart over this lately though and I hope to see myself through His eyes instead of through my own limited perspective.
Erica
May 4, 2016 at 3:38 pmLove This! We are doing a huge house addition and I too have spent many dozens of hours researching just the right flooring, just the right tiles, just the right trimwork to have that perfect “Farmhouse” look! I go crazy and throw my hands up in despair because I think it will never be “just right”. Then I go outside to start the farm chores and I see the orchard fruit ripening, and I cuddle my baby ducklings, the barn cats come up to greet me and my three little children start begging to help with the animals, and suddenly none of the remodel stuff matters. I love our farm so much and having the “wrong” crown molding isn’t going to change anything! But when I’m at the computer, it seems like the whole world. It’s crazy how far off our perception wanders!
Ashley Taylor
May 4, 2016 at 3:39 pmI just love you for this!
Jessica Locke
May 4, 2016 at 3:41 pmThank you!!! Reading this was like having a best friend say, ‘It’s ok if you suck at picking out cabinet paint! And so what if you’ve been homeschooling for 2 years and have no idea if you’re teaching your kids ANYTHING! And yes, sometimes you find out your poor chickens have lice because you were too busy comforting a teething baby to fully keep them in check-IT HAPPENS!!! ‘ The important thing is that I’ve tried. I didn’t give into failure. It’s all fixable! And even if we fail, Jesus still loves us. We are totally enough for him!
Natasha
May 4, 2016 at 3:58 pmThank you for this!! It feels like it’s coming at a perfect time for me (as most of yours do! How do you manage that?!) I have been reading your blog for about 2 years now and it just keeps getting batter!! So thank you for the honesty and keep doing you.
Rhonda Welker
May 4, 2016 at 4:11 pmAh, Yes, ‘Perfection’, no, not happening here and I’m 61! Don’t think I would like it much, but I would like to be further along than I am. House has been topsy turvy over a year now while we work at getting interior projects done. Getting closer, but not done yet. We’ll get there. Do I get a little down in the dumps? Yes, we both do, but such is life. Others have needed out help and … we just have to help! But, Hey!, I don’t need to worry, I can just retreat to my world of blogdom, reading posts by those bloggers I follow on a regular basis. Been reading your blog for years now. Even have my brother reading your blog. (Pssst … he’s older than I am.) A while back, somewhere along the way, about the time you bought your new place, he lost your site and got in touch with me to see if you were still blogging. He was happy, he found your site again. You are a wealth of info, make us laugh and we love your little family. Truth be told, I live vicariously through your blog and others because you’re all doing things I would like to, so full of energy!, discovered a wonderful life earlier in your lives than I did. But, then, things have changed and many are returning to the way things ‘used to be’ and I believe that’s a good thing. So, just keep doing what you’re doing, Loving the Lord, looking to Him for guidance, loving the family and friends He has so richly blessed you with and sharing your talent of putting it all into words to share with the rest of us. We love you & yours. That’s what keeps us all here.
Elizabeth
May 4, 2016 at 6:35 pmYou are NOT planting your tomatoes yet? I.AM.SO.JEALOUs! We don’t live that far apart but I can’ t put out tomatoes for another 3 weeks!!!!
Lori norman
May 4, 2016 at 7:00 pmGood read Shaye! It’s all about living and learning. Giving a shot at making sourdough bread today making 3 different recipes to find a good one! Love your blog!
moonshadow
May 4, 2016 at 8:55 pmTruth!!!
Needed this today, thank you. We researched, read and reread about the housing needs to breed baby pigs. We thought we did our best, and five babies were born on Sunday. Nature/the Universe had no trouble communicating how wrong we were as we lost four the first day. Despite our best effort. However, we saved one, and after watching momma pig we now know what to do differently.
And thats how it goes. Were in a constant state of growth and change along this journey. Thank you for sharing with all of us yours!
Rachel Espino
May 4, 2016 at 10:09 pmYes, yes, yes… you are so right on all this. We have ventured into a lot of things since moving to Virginia. It’s been a learning experience, but I love that I can say I learned something new. We now have chickens and goats and gardens…none of which I profess to know much about, but learning is fun. There are mistakes, like breeding the goats. Ugh! Fingers crossed two are pregos. One more to go. Not keeping up on the garden is another horrible mistake. Lots of waste. But, next year – because I’m taking a break from the major garden deal.
Peacock Orchard
May 4, 2016 at 10:35 pmI’m the exact opposite. I’m more of the do it and then look back like….shouldn’t have planted that there. Shouldn’t have acquired pigs right before winter. Probably should have read the reviews, that would have saved some trouble. Certainly should have not made such a large hole in that wall before seeing if it could be fully removed, now you have to patch it. Ah life, it’s an adventure.
Jessika
May 5, 2016 at 12:28 amI waited four months for the heritage breed I wanted to come available at my favorite small farm store. Brought my chicks home, set them up properly with water/food/heat/bedding (to put under broody mama bird at night), and went back to work for four hours. Brought home chicks tons of times. Came home to ALL of them dead. No idea what happened. None back at the store died. The farm store guy and I walked through everything but were left scratching our heads, unable to figure out the cause. He replaced all the birds for free, just saying “I lost 800 bees today. You learn. You try.”
Try hard. Learn hard. Press on. Respect the process.
Hang in there!
Shaye Elliott
May 19, 2016 at 12:54 pmWe had this happen with our chicks too. We ended up with 6 of the original 18. EEK.
Lisa
May 5, 2016 at 7:13 amLove love love this! The unlimited options that the Internet offers leaves me paralyzed. I just started a blob myself and totally see now how it’s a person behind a screen who also doesn’t have it all figured out.
Audra
May 5, 2016 at 11:33 amYour words make me feel brave.
I made your farls this morning. Their three-cornered shape made me think of Faith, Hope, and Love…slathered with butter and strawberry jam. Both a prayer and a bit of heaven in my kitchen. My children declared them “better than biscuits!”
Thank you for sharing your world.
Hilary
May 5, 2016 at 11:58 amI so needed this today! Thank you Shaye!
Alicia
May 5, 2016 at 1:13 pmThis spoke to my heart today. We recently moved from the city to 7 acres and inherited 2 sheep. Some days I really have no idea what the heck we got ourselves into. But I look at my sheep half sheared that look like they have mange and smile. Some day it will be easy, but trying to figure out all the answers will make the best memories:)
Shelly
May 8, 2016 at 10:55 pmLove how real you are. Life is not perfect. We are not perfect. Only Jesus is. In the meantime, we stumble through, have our victories and setbacks and just keep going on. It’s an adventure for sure–sometimes soooo disappointing, but then there are those wonderful moments of sheer joy that make it all so worth it. You are an inspiration. Just keep being the you that He designed you to be, because we love you just like that!
Karmen Paterson
May 8, 2016 at 11:20 pmYa know this post was exactly what I needed today. I have been putting off my garden because… Well, I’m terrified of messing up. I mean, what if we invest all of this time and money and energy and all I grow is a weed? But you’re exactly right. Life is about trial and error and if I don’t just jump in I may never know or learn to do better. In the meantime, the farmer’s market isn’t too far away.
Quincy Gardner
May 9, 2016 at 10:12 amShaye- you speak to my soul with this post girl! I’m totally the mess up and keep going farm girl. Drives my husband insane with all my crazy experiments but I refuse to give up because of lack of funds or time. We’re making this awesome homestead life happen, with all its beautiful imperfections and all! Thank you for all your amazing messages. You’re like my motivation guru! Feeling a little down? All my baby rabbits die? I read your blog and it puts my mind at ease. The journey wouldn’t be any fun without all the bumps and twists on the path right?
Shaye Elliott
May 19, 2016 at 12:52 pmWe’ve lost so. many. bunnies. You’re not alone!
Meagan
May 10, 2016 at 7:48 amWell said, mama! I do this all the time, but it’s nice to be reminded that you and I and everyone else out there are basically the same. We’re all living life one day at a time and learning as we go. I’m grateful for people (like you) who share your stories. It helps us learn, connect, and keep perspective in our own lives. Thank you!
Wendy
May 13, 2016 at 1:20 pmWonderful brutal honesty Shaye! Way to be an encourager to both yourself and others! Something we all do have in lieu of perfection, is a voice and a story, love that blogging gives rise to both of these things and connects us to one another. Blessings to you and your beautiful family!
From one homestead mama to another,
Wendy
Stephanie of Stephlin's Mountain
May 14, 2016 at 7:27 amSo glad I read this. I’ve been contemplating an article about how I stink at gardening. You see all these wonderful images intertwined with the “easy” how-to articles. Today, they are making me sick! I’ll probably be better tomorrow, getting back out there again. But, for today, I needed this.
Candi Johns
June 21, 2016 at 3:04 pmAmen sister!
Good grief – it is so refreshing to hear about real life. On real farms chickens die, gardens fail and eggs are for dinner. Thank you for truth.
Sending a hug!
Candi
Cris Daining
August 4, 2016 at 3:17 pmThank YOU for reading our stuff! 🙂
Brandy
October 24, 2016 at 9:27 pmTHANK YOU for the reminder! I spend way too much time browsing and researching instead of doing! Thinking and analyzing instead of trying and working!
Audrey Hollatz
November 17, 2016 at 12:33 pmTHANK YOU for your honesty, humility, and sharing your JOY in the journey. I am feeling rather eaten down today after a MAJOR disappointment yesterday. Our dear LORD used your post to assure me that we’re all in this thing called “Life” together” and HE is in charge, not us!
Blessings, Audrey
Really_Old_Guy
November 19, 2016 at 4:09 pmTruth be told, NONE of us ever post the pictures of our ‘failures’ at gardening, animal husbandry, or any other such venture.
We envy those perfect (supermarket-ready) greens, perfect beans, perfect melons on display and wonder whether our scabby, slug-bitten plants are fit for animal feed much less for the table.
I say “heck with it!” and cut off the bad parts. Try something new…if it doesn’t work, try something else next season. Keep learning, keep trying, stay focused on the important and don’t sweat the ‘failures’. God loves us and He will continue to provide…just keep on trusting Him.
Rachael
January 29, 2017 at 7:26 amThis is so perfect! I’ve been thinking this for a while, nice to know I’m not the only one! Also, your pictures are lovely 🙂
Becca
May 17, 2017 at 12:19 amShaye, you have no idea how much this post has encouraged and comforted me right now. With just buying our homestead 6 weeks ago and the enormous undertaking we have right now, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed! Thank you so much!