“This is the time of month when you get really...” Stu reluctantly stated.
“What?“, I replied? “What do I get?“
“Ambitious, honey. I was going to say ambitious about the cottage renovation.”
Just because I told him all the plans I had for the living room, laundry room, kitchen, root cellar, and new gardens, he had the audacity…
…okay. Fine. He's right.
My cottage renovation ideas tend to come in surges and this morning they were on FIRE. Too much LLV and Elevation perhaps (I can always tell when Stu hasn't been taking it. He's overwhelmed by me.). As I sipped my second cup of coffee (more espresso is always the answer for racing minds), I was listing out a few blog posts I want to write and ordering tile simultaneously on Etsy. I was also getting kinetic sand out of Juliette's hair and peeling Will's egg.
Go, Shaye, Go.
But see, there's been a thing slogging around in my brain for the past few months, stressing me out, and stealing my joy. But I finally was able to put a finger on. Three years we've been in this house. Three years we've been working on cottage renovation by remodeling bathrooms and moving around laundry machines and ripping out old stone fireplaces and building new ones and putting up ceiling planks and building gardens. We've been hustling, bustling, and breaking backs. We've worked to the bone to make this home ours.
So why did it stress me out walking from room to room? What was this weird horribly energy cloud following me around?
I adore this little cottage. But after three years of wear, and children who spend every moment of every day by our side, there's a lot that still needs to be finished. Like actually finished. FIIIIIIIINNNNNIIIIIIISSSSSHHHHEEEEDDDD.
Anyone else out there with serious finished-project-problems?
Oh look! It's functional now! Let's give up on it for all eternity.
We were able to work on the cottage renovation these past years to get the house to a particular degree of style and function. We got the carpet out of the kitchen. We got the doors replaced. We got the wood floors refinished. But I finally realized that the unsettled feeling I've carried these past few months comes from wanting to actually finish what we started. I love putting the cherry on top of a project. But so much of this work is beyond my capacity.
Though my ambitious surge caught Stu a bit by surprise so early in the morning (in my defense, I did get up an hour before him), he knew this was coming. That's the reason we currently have 250 square feet of reclaimed white oak sitting at a lumber mill awaiting it's delivery. That's also the reason we've got 235 square feet of reclaimed hexagon terra cotta tile on it's way (!!!!!!!). It's about to go down.
And by “go down” I mean we've decided to start saving up to hire professionals to help us finish this up. Project by project.
Come on. I've got a dōTERRA team to love on, a cow to milk, gardens to keep, food to cook, and children to homeschool. Plus, my knowledge about putting up trim is far outweighed by my other skillzzzz. Obviously.
There's a huge pot that's under my kitchen sink catching the drips from the pipes. The floor in our living room is just painted plywood. The walls in the kitchen are edged with poky chicken wire that needs to be ripped down. The kitchen plank flooring is worn and rotted in spots. There are no baseboards. Anywhere. My living room has crown molding. But only on half.
This beautiful space has got us this far. Now, it's time to really get it “there”.
I'm not under some weird pretense that my life and house have to be perfect. I have four children who are here all day – who am I kidding. But. We've been given means to take care of these issues. We have the ambition to do so (at least… one of us does). So dangit. It's time to grow this awkward teenage house into… well… something that's much less awkward.
That's it. House. I'm ready to take your braces off. It's time for cottage renovation stage two.
It may have taken three hours of verbal combat and a day-vorce, but we finally landed on a “way forward”. A way that will allow me to get the pot out from under the sink and the holes patched on the floor.
It involves realizing (once again) that we can't do it alone. We'll save, hire out, and do what we can to contribute. It's just the way it is in this beautiful season of life.
Years ago, a wise friend of mine advised me to “be the thing that only I could be first”. What he meant was be the mom to my children. No one else can do that. Be the wife to my husband. No one else can do that. Be the leader to my team of 15,000 dōTERRA customers. No one else can do that. Be the writer of this blog, the creator of these recipes, the cameraman for these videos. No one else can do that.
A house is important, of course. But it's certainly not more important than these. Rather, a healthy and rich home – full of peace – will enable me to do those jobs all the better.
I can tell you one thing. I'm sure I could lay a tile floor. But heaven help me, there's someone out there who will do a much better job than me.
Here! Take all my money! Just don't make the project drag on for a year and be half ruined in the process! Please!
Any home renovators out there feel me on this?
My two new favorite words in this stage of life: Help. Please.
And Amen.
Migita
Your humility to ask for help is inspiring. It makes me look at my perfectionism as the problem and not myself as deficient.
Marge
Yes! Ask for help and get ‘er done! In the meantime, you do have THE range!!!!
Peacock Orchard
I’ve not had the best experience hiring out. Obviously picking the person you hire is super important and I obviously suck at picking. At this point I think if it’s going to look like I did it anyway, I might as well. After all, I’ve had to personally replace all the doors I hired someone to install. Had to re-side part of the house after hiring someone to enclose a porch, etc. Too depressing!
I feel you though. I bought and installed a couple hundred dollars in baseboards and the house isn’t even 1/4 of the way done with that. Moulding. I need so much moulding installed. I hate installing moulding!
Nikki
I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and know that feeling all too well. I’m reflecting on how we need to trim out the windows, install a built-in in the living room to hold all the books and vinyl records, hang a new light fixture, repaint the walls, revamp the bathrooms and laundry room and so many tasks to make this home finished as well. I can’t wait to see the tile you’ve picked out for the project and then the grand reveal.
Michael
Every time I see you house, kitchen, living room, and garden I think “wow’ that is exactly what I would want in my house and garden.
You have such an eye for decorating as a homestead place should be. Your stove is awesome. I love the thick wood counters that you have. I have tile counters that are very old but they are very pretty. They need serious cleaning up and sealing. I am wondering if counters like yours would be better than granite or some other stone.
skyval
Yes Michael , do the wood ones , none of the worries of the others , always beautiful and so cheap at Lumber Liquidators !
Elini Vilardi
We just finished a kitchen remodel, hired out the work. Instead of having my hubby do it, which would’ve ended badly, haha. It was ROUGH. I think I had the TV show remodels in my head and too little real- world experience. We have done a lot of small projects to our house. But the kitchen was huge. It took a lot longer than anyone thought. And about 30% more money- that we didn’t know of, until it was all said and done. Homeschooling during demo is not recommended! I do love my kitchen, but I still haven’t recovered from the remodel.
Carrie Cheek
My husband has always said since we’ve been married, there is someone else out there with the right skills trying to make a living and support their family. Just pay the man! 😆
Becky
After living in an unfinished space for 20 years,I refused to move into our newly built home until EVERY SINGLE PIECE of trim was put in. This required me to live in our slowly deteriorating Houseboat ( on land) and using an outhouse for an extra six months. 🤣 Talented husband and builder of said home moved in before I did! My stubbornness paid off. The home is lovely and love- filled. 🏠💕
Jess
I’ve been trying to get my husband to see that he doesn’t need to do everything!!! Our house also has about 8 million 90% done projects, but we are planing on selling in the spring so I’m trying to figure out how to light that fire for him to get things (I can’t do myself) done!
Rachael
I was so excited to wake up this morning to a notification of another blog post from you my friend! Sipping my coffee while giggling out loud to your great writing inspires me more each day. My husband and I are currently laying new flooring throughout our home. We have a deadline now though, we are due to have our first baby in January and the closer that our due date approaches the longer his list of things to do around the house gets. Sorry Honey, not really. Because we have pulled up the old floor and put down the new, the skirting boards need to be replaced and then painted obviously, and while we’re on the subjecting of painting, the nursery will need to be repainted also, a better light fixture than the 1980’s floral ceiling light and new blinds. I find the hardest part in all of this is for hubby to admit that he might need help, not that he is incapable of doing it, but just some help to get it done a bit quicker, specifically the painting, his most hated job (ok, yes, and maybe done with a bit better finish). I plan to spend a lot more of my time this spring and summer (we are in Australia) in the garden, so at least I can leave him be inside hammering and painting away, which he would probably prefer anyways and I can spend my days soaking up that much needed vitamin D before baby arrives. Once again Shaye thank you for sharing your thoughts, light, life and laughter with us all.
Molly
We moved into our house exactly a year ago when I was pregnant with our second child. My husband was and still is very enthusiastic about learning to DIY after only living in apartments but there were absolutely times I put my foot down to hire someone. Now that the new baby is almost five months old, I’m a bit more open to DIY projects.
The White Oak Barn
My husband could see my “vision” and make it happen. He could do anything. Then he was in a major car accident and then got cancer so he cannot do those things anymore. We had a 40 acre farm that we had to sell because I couldn’t do it all (taking care of him and the farm) and I needed to be closer to family. So we moved to a home that needs to be totally remodeled. Like I mentioned I would rely on my husband but now I was relying on myself and the help of others. I have been frustrated, I have grown but do realize that I can’t do it all. It is okay to ask, pay or even beg for help! There is still a lot that needs to be done both on the inside and out. We are just getting it done step by step and little by little. I do love our home and can’t wait for it to be done. So I feel for you.
Brittany
I love that advice! I’m a stay-at-home mom and farm wife and also about to venture into homeschooling. With 4 kids 5 and under and our first milk cow (not to mention our rabbit, “Cheddars” and all our feathered and wooly children too) I really have a hard time juggling it all. Between the farm chores and keeping everyone alive there is not enough time in the day to do all the rest. So thank you for sharing that advice! I am a control freak that needs to cool it and just be who only I can be first! Lol
Jessica
By hiring or trading with others to do those jobs that I can’t get to or that are beyond my skill set, I’m also allowing them to do the thing that they are gifted in and support their families, too. We aren’t meant to do life, or home renovations, alone!
deborah wilson
I’m 68 day after Christmas. been in my house 30 years. the work is never done.Im still enjoying this place though. I think what it is you have to like the house your in,or the bones of if you get what I mean .Thanks Shay fun watching your family.
Alison
What I really really really need to know is……what type of rose bush is in your photos up above? The gorgeous pink romantic one with crazy amounts of blooms. Cuz I need it.