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Not quite here. Not quite there.

May 8, 2012 - 2 Comments

These past few weeks have been so melancholy.


How do you savor and appreciate your “past” while anxiously anticipating your “future”?


I can't really decide where I should be.  I don't wish to linger in the past, or weep for times past, because as the good Lord would have it those situations no longer are.  I don't wish to cry or sulk over our situation, but yet at the same time, I find myself wanting to cling with all my energy to what will be taken away from my shortly.


The pear blossoms across the street smell extra sweet this year.  Just knowing I may not smell them again for awhile.


The sun is extra friendly here.  The mountains extra beautiful.  The river extra calm and blue.



And seeing the sweet faces of my family members over the weekend was extra, extra, extra special.


This past weekend, our valley celebrated the annual Apple Blossom Festival.  Parades, barbecues, carnivals, food fairs, face painting…you know, the real good stuff.  And knowing this may be my last Apple Blossom for awhile, even the trash left after the parade looked lovely.  


Yes, I'm savoring each last breath of it here.  Even the trash.



And seeing my high school's drumline that I used to march in?  Fuh-get-about-it.  Just accept the tears and enjoy the parade, baby.


We've already had to say our final goodbyes to a few friends who live out of town.  Friends that we've enjoyed fellowship with and prayed with and vacationed with.  Friends that we've studied God's word with and shared many meals with.   Friends with whom we've been able to celebrate in pregnancies and snuggle each others newborn babies.


And yes, seeing them this past weekend was extra wonderful.



I know moving will be an adventure.  I know that there will be growth.  I know this is the Lord's plan and I have great peace in that.  


I know we will learn to savor and appreciate and explore our new home.


But it's just weird.


It's just….weird.  To not be totally here.  But not be there either.  To be showing your house to other renters – yet still living in it.  To be packing your things but still in need of them.  



A month ago, I expected to be blogging about my pea and arugula harvest.  Instead, I'm packing my house, ignoring my gardens for fear of a breakdown, selling off my prized possessions, and clinging to the Lord's grace with white knuckles.


I also expected to be blogging about all things fresh-spring-food.  But as things are with the pregnancy, I'm still quite repulsed by all things food.  And I don't imagine too many of you would like to read a recipe for scrambled eggs, pickled asparagus, and peanut butter toast.


I'm just sayin'.



I promise once I arrive in Alabama I'll try my best to get back on the bandwagon.  I even thought about making bread today.  I didn't actually do it, but hey – I thought about it!  


I very much appreciate y'alls support and patience with me as we fumble along in our journey.  I'm very much looking forward to all the new food and adventures I will get to share with you very soon.


Did you know they can grow bananas in south Alabama?


Bananas, people!


I'm hoping that means artichokes, figs, lemons, and olives too.


Hey – a girl can dream.

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Comments:

  1. Lizabeth

    May 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I’ve been following your blog for a bit and love it. 🙂 All of your heart/struggles in the move really hit me, as we’re moving in a month too. Moving from sorta country town living to a small city – which is exciting, but hard for this really raised in the country gal. I’m trying so hard to hold on to the country air, the smell of the flowers, and everything too…and yet preparing to let go… God’s in control and I’m so thankful for that! (and btw – I’m pregant too – our third.:) So we’re kinda on a journey together!) Blessings!

    Reply
  2. Teresa Messick

    May 9, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Not sure about olives, but mercy yes, the figs grow here and my neighbor has a meyer lemon tree in a pot that produces beautifully!

    Keep clinging to Him with those white knuckles, He will bless you through it!

    Reply

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