I just tucked a slightly feverish G-love into bed, her little body curled and snuggled up under her pink flowered blanket before I even got in the room to tuck her in. I proceeded to lay next to her in bed for a few brief moments to read a story from her Jesus Storybook Bible. I could feel her little warm breath on my shoulder. And as I closed the book, prayed for her, and got up to leave the room, she quietly whispered to me.
“Mom”
“Yes, baby?”
“Mom, tum ‘ere.”
*Points to ceiling* “Dod libs up der”
“That's right love. God lives in Heaven above us.”
“An Jehaws libs in my hawrt.”
“Yep, that's right baby. Jesus lives in your heart.”
“Mom. I want to see Jehaws. Tan I see Jehaws?”
“Yes, honey. At the end of your life, you'll get to see Jesus. We all will.”
*Sigh*
THAT, my friends, is why our work in the home has value.
Stuart and I engaged in a rather spirited discussion over our toast and eggs this morning about the devaluing of the homemaker. Partly due to our culture's desire to get us into the workplace (as if that holds a greater value) and partly due to the fact that in general, a the value and dignity of out homemaking tasks have been taken from us. The important tasks that women used to complete, that brought qualitative value to the home, are no longer.
Women used to find value in cooking dinner for their families – in learning and sharing recipes, mastering techniques, and working hard to prepare high-quality meals. Today, we can microwave a bag of pre-made chicken strips and serve it alongside a can of prepacked green beans. Or rather, we can easily drive through the nearest fast food joint on our way home from work. Our value as a cook for the family is no longer.
Women used to find value in opening their homes for hospitality – in serving their food to others in a gesture of fellowship and friendship. Today, we are encouraged to be more concerned about being served than serving. Our value as a host is no longer.
Women used to find value in educating their children – in ensuring that they were being taught Biblical principles, creeds, catechisms, how to cook, how to work, how to clean, how to grow food, how to be an upstanding citizen in society. Today, we rely on the state to educate our children and teach them these things. Her value as a teacher is no longer.
Women used to find value in faithfully loving their husbands – taking the time to love, serve, honor, obey, and encourage them in their work. Today, we are told to be more concerned about ourselves. And today, husbands have fallen victim to seduction and laziness, easily pulled from their marital vows by the all-too-easily-accessed sex in every facet of our culture. He no longer finds pride in providing, Biblical manliness, and work. Women, in turn, find it more and more difficult to find pride in being married to their husbands.
Women used to find value in what they produced. Today, we are told to find value in what we have.
“Motivated no longer by practical needs, but by loneliness and fear, women began to identify themselves by what they bought rather than by what they did. They bought labor-saving devices that worked, as most modern machines have tended to work, to devalue or replace the skills of those who used them. They bought manufactured foods, which did likewise. They bought any produce that offered to lighten the burdens of housework, to be ‘kind to hands', or to endear one to one's husband. And they furnished their houses, as they made up their faces and selected their clothes, neither by custom nor invention, but by the suggestion of articles and advertisements in ‘women's magazines.' Thus, housewifery, once a complex discipline acknowledged to be one of the bases of culture and economy, was reduced to the exercise of purchasing power. The housewife's only remaining productive capacity was that of reproduction. But even as a mother she remained a consumer, subjecting herself to an all-presuming doctor and again to written instructions calculated to result in the purchase of merchandise. Breast-feeding of babies became unfashionable, one suspects, because it was the last form of home production; no way could be found to persuade a woman to purchase her own milk. All these ‘improvements' involved a radical simplification of mind that was bound to have complicated, ironic results. As housekeeping became simpler and easier, it also became more boring. A woman's work became less accomplished and less satisfying. It became easier for her to believe that what she did was not important. And this heightened her anxiety and made her even more avid and even less discriminating as a consumer. The cure not only preserved the disease, it compounded it.” – Wendell Berry
As a homemaker, I'm used to receiving jaded responses from people regarding my day-to-day life. “Oh, well I'd love to do that too, but some of us have real jobs…” While this usually triggers my defensive nature, it also makes me sad. Without much thought, people are quick to throw jabs and elbows into the pride that I take of my work in the home. Slowly and sarcastically, they whittle away at the importance that my work has, as if to say it's not at all that important. After all, there is daycare to watch my children. And schools for them to attend after that. There are ready made freezer meals and packaged bread. After all, what worth is there in gardening when there are supermarkets? What worth is there in raising meat chickens? What worth is there in attending Bible Study? Or mending torn jeans? Or harvesting berries? Or reading with your child? Or organizing chores? Or milking your cow?
Hear me now. I'm not saying that daycare, or schools, or freezer meals are wrong. Frankly, I am thankful that we have them as they can be a huge blessing to many. But I refuse to accept the devaluing of our work behind them.
The small tasks that I pride myself on completing each day in the home hold no value in our modern culture and many are quick to remind me of such (though I praise God that I married a man who finds great, incredible joy and pride and worth in a wife who is a homemaker).
Stuart finds worth in a decorated table. And in artisan creations. And in line-dried laundry. And clean baseboards. And scrubbed toilets. And a balanced checkbook. And paid bills. And happy babies. And a welcoming home. And a loving wife. (Not to say those are always present – Lawd knows, there is always a good ‘ol mess and lots of disobedience involved in any-given-day, but what I'm saying is that these tasks, which hold little or no value in our culture, hold value to him. And to me. And to our children. And to God.)
He finds worth in this homemade life, even though it's far from luxury (we are, after all, living on a single income).
Please hear me now. I don't believe that homemaking is all that there is. I believe that some women, many women, have been called to work and use their skills to bless others in a variety of careers. But I'm fed up with our culture making women feel like they have to work outside the home. Like raising children, producing food, loving a husband, and keeping a home isn't enough. Because it is.
Husbands, encourage your wives. Let them know that their work in the home HAS VALUE to you.
Wives, know that keeping a home and growing little ones is no small task. It is valuable, it is richly blessed, and it is Kingdom work.
To hell with the lies that our culture feeds on.
NorthernMama
August 7, 2013 at 8:46 amThank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Jaimie Ramsey
August 7, 2013 at 8:58 amI’m in happy tears… so thankful for the witness that your beautiful little girl has.
For this powerful encouragement. For you and for this reminder–that what I’m doing has worth. Not necessarily in the world’s eyes (but who cares about what the world thinks?). Worth in my husband’s eyes, and most importantly in God’s eyes.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Randi E.
August 7, 2013 at 9:00 amThank you for being so real & inspiring!
Niki R.
August 7, 2013 at 9:04 amThank you for a wonderful article and a reminder that what we are doing DOES matter. You are inspiring!
Jamie
August 7, 2013 at 9:27 amI enjoyed this post as of all your daily postings,keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!We as stay at home mothers do have real jobs and its hard for working adults to realize that we are busy working bees as well.
Rachel W
August 7, 2013 at 9:31 amWell put! This is right where my heart has been!
There’s been a huge cultural shift away from family and it’s roles. Reclaiming “family” takes work and makes us seem peculiar…. But we’re called to be ‘a peculiar people’, right? 🙂
alexis
August 7, 2013 at 9:39 amBeautifully written! I do work outside the home, but I also strive to be a good homemaker. I make meals from scratch, grow food and preserve it, and involve our two-year-old daughter in those tasks with the hope that she, too, will take pride in her abilities over her possessions. She deserves at least that much from me.
My friends may think I’m nuts, but I know my husband appreciates my efforts, and I am grateful to finally, at the age of 31, know, understand, and appreciate my own value.
Thank you for the encouragement!
Mindy
August 7, 2013 at 9:39 amIt’s all too sad that people feel the need to defend themselves by attacking another’s work. Especially work that comes from a passionate heart. This stay-at-home momma is proud of you.
Kirsty Wilson
August 7, 2013 at 9:40 amI agree with all of what you have said, I would love to find a man that is after a house wife and values all that it is about. I would love to have time to be out in my garden growing Organic vegetables and fruits so that I don’t have to buy the chemically laden rubbish from the supermarkets.
I was in line at the supermarket the other day watching a lady unload her trolley, putting all of the vegetables onto the conveyor belt and I thought to myself when as a society did we give up the growing of our own fruit and vegetables, when did our lives become so busy that we not only stopped growing our own but when did it become so busy that we no longer had the time to check and make sure that what is being grown for us is actually good for us and not laden with pesticides and chemicals? When did we close our eyes or not even take notice of how farm animals are being treated by these huge organisations in a bid to save money and produce the most product for the smallest amount of outlay, since when did cows start eating corn and not grass??? I think society as a whole needs a big wake up call to get back to the things in life that matter the most, family, healthy eating and self sufficiency.
I would love that responsibilty back please.
Haleigh
August 7, 2013 at 9:42 amI am so glad you wrote this article! That is exactly what i needed to hear! You don’t know how much of a blessing you are to your readers! Thank you for speaking the truth!
Jenn M.
August 7, 2013 at 9:48 amThank you for writing this =) Like it was said before, thank you for the reminder that the things we homemakers do day-in-and-day-out are enough – regardless of what society tells us.
Shari Goodman
August 7, 2013 at 9:54 amAmen and Amen. Nothing to me is more sacred than that of the role of the Mother. Our society has it so wrong. Thank you for sharing. Beautifully put sister friend.
Allison
August 7, 2013 at 10:00 amLOVE LOVE LOVE this post! I’m blessed to have a husband who is also supportive of me being a stay at home Mom! It was a great reminder to me that what I do DOES matter! I think all too often people think I’m just lazy and don’t want to work. But I DO work! I just don’t make money at it 🙂
Jess
August 7, 2013 at 10:21 amLOVE LOVE LOVE!! Thank you so much! There is SO much pressure to have a job outside the home. I’m 24, married, have a degree and want a big family. Your life is my absolute dream! People think I’m crazy, my family wants me climb the corporate ladder and use my degree, there is so much pressure to be worldly and it is the exact opposite of what I feel in my heart is right. Thank you for sharing and for the wonderful encouragement! Kingdom work, indeed!
Jordan
August 7, 2013 at 10:25 amWhile wholeheartedly I agree that homemaking is essential and should be more valued by society, I think the author of this blog is making the same mistake that she accuses of others, but in reverse. By titling the post “The devaluing of the woman” instead of “The devaluing of the homemaker,” which I believe is what she actually means, she insinuates that women who work outside of the home are somehow less womanly. Homemaking is not limited to women, and conversely, women are not limited to homemaking (this last point is given a nod at the end, but the title and the majority of the post still seem to make these women second-class, as if they do not care as much about their husbands, children, and homes). It is this kind of attitude that makes me feel insecure and apprehensive to tell people that I am a female law student who intends to work outside of the home, for fear that they will respond this way. Sadly, this happens frequently. It goes both ways. She can make her point without devaluing others in the process.
Heather G.
August 7, 2013 at 12:26 pmShe did say daycare etc isn’t wrong. Maybe she could have added a note for working mothers. But I don’t think she meant to insinuate that working mothers are less womanly. I think in all, its the judgment of others in general. It can go both ways.. . This world has become very thoughtless, very selfish, but we all have to embrace each other, to love and not judge. I am very happy that you are becoming a lawyer, very educated! Wonderful! You must be very proud! I have two daughters whom I am ever so proud of and with anything they want to do in life as long as they can be self supportive and educated. After that homemaker or lawyer, I am all for it! Good luck to you in your studies!
serena ashcroft
August 7, 2013 at 1:19 pmThat is great that you are getting a great education in being a lawyer. I assume you don’t have kids yet. If you plan on having kids, you may have to re-adjust your priorities to balance both. It is very difficult. I have had a 16 year career in real estate and wanted and needed the flexibility for a family. There are manythings women can do and be able to be home with the kids. I personally love homemaking, cooking, and the way I have grown as a woman in doing those things. Many women who work wish they could stay home and that they are missing out on raising their kids.
Cel
August 7, 2013 at 11:14 pmabsolutely agree!
Shannon
August 8, 2013 at 2:53 amYou obviously are new around here. Shaye is incredible in her inspirations, and I feel that she is spot on in this post! Her point is simply that the World is telling women that the only important thing they can do is work outside of the home…and that raising children and caring for a home is menial and can be done by anyone else. Which is a complete lie. The truth is, the best person to care for a child is their parent…and the best person to care for a husband is his wife. Women and men alike should listen to what their Soul tells them to do, and stop listening to the ever increasing volume that money persuades us with. Life is about more. Not about a title. Our True worth can come only from one place…God. No matter how much we are appreciated and revered, what does that matter if we are living a selfish life? It doesn’t.
celia
November 16, 2013 at 4:34 pmThank u soooo much for writing this, as a working mom, I whole heartedly agree.
Guest
January 24, 2014 at 10:59 pmIt goes both ways, some moms choose to work, some moms chose to stay home. I don’t know why some choose to put either other down for their choice. If you don’t like it, don’t chose it. But don’t go tell others that what they are doing is wrong. There are many types of good mothers, so we shouldn’t have to feel pressured or “devalued” by other moms who chose the opposite. I’m not saying anything negative about the author, for it is her blog, and her point of view. But just as bad as stay at home moms feel “devalued” so do working moms. Maybe it’s best to just encourage each other in the role of “mom.” I think if this could happen, we all would feel, and be, better.
Heather G
August 7, 2013 at 11:51 amWOW! I CRIED! What an awesome read for today and so true. I am a homemaker and ill (chronic pancreatitis) I an raising four children and have worked in the past. I do see most of this world thinks of a homemaker as lazy, not a real job. As for me, I absolutely love being home to raise the kids, its a hugh job and my kind and gentle husband appreciates me so much. He sees what I go through and supports me wholeheartedly! !!! I can remember when I was nursing my little one who is now 16, I went to a family baby shower and my aunts, cousins belittled me for my choice to breastfeed, I was so upset that I left the party. But I can see breastfeeing has come a long way now with supporters. Devaluing anyone is just plain wrong… to judge a person is wrong, I just can’t see why people can live in a world of peace and harmony. Work hard for what you have and live your life happy. Not want for so many things, give if you can, help when you can help. One last thing, I do it everyday, is to smile, smile and said hello… good day…something pleasant. Even if they don’t care… makes me feel great!!
Casie Thompson
August 7, 2013 at 12:09 pmLove you, my sweet friend! What a wonderful reminder for those that are homemakers that your work at home has an immense value. I have personally been on both sides as far as being a stay at home mom and in the teaching field full-time, and at this moment I will be doing both. Yikes! Just remember that all work should be to the glory of God. If you are a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or both your value does not come from the approval of others or the pressures of our culture, it comes from the grace of God. This is something I am telling myself at this moment!
Veronica
August 7, 2013 at 12:45 pmThis is a beautifully written post, and verbalizes so many of the things I have been thinking for some time. I am not yet a wife or a mother, but for most of my life, I have felt called to a homemaker. As an adolescent, I soon learned not to tell anyone about this because I was often scolded and told it was a waste of intelligence and ambition. I think the homemaker is so essential to our society, and one that is dearly missed for the most part. Even my parents remark on the things we have lost as a culture since families have become dual-income, and how invaluable those stay-at-home moms were. Though they see this in the abstract, they still refuse to believe that this is a worthy vocation for their daughter.
I am sure many young women feel this pressure, and it is too bad. At some point in time, all of us became identified with our careers, and this was how we defined our worth. This shift in value has been detrimental especially to our children, who gain so much from the stability provided by having one parent in the home.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They are so important, and very timely for me. My husband-to-be and I were having a conversation yesterday about how we will someday raise our children (if God wills). We both still value the homemaker, and want to make this a reality for us. Often times I struggle with this, even though it is what we both want, because I do not know how to explain this choice to my family or colleagues. Reading a post like yours helps give me courage.
God bless you and your family!
Guest
August 7, 2013 at 1:18 pmIncredible. I need constant truth reminders in my life as a wife, mama, homemaker and homeschooler, and your words helped pull me out of my head today…
I bought into society’s lies for SO many years, and it has taken a lot of time and intentionality to reframe my worldview into one that consistently sees what I do here at home as eternally important and truly valuable.
This was a wonderful read, and just what I needed today! Thank you!
Jane
August 7, 2013 at 1:42 pmThank you! Well said.
Jen
August 7, 2013 at 2:50 pmWonderful post. I worked outside the home from the time my son was 7 months old until he was 6 years old. At that time, I left a good job to stay home and homeschool him, which I did for 2 years. For many reasons, it did not turn out to be a good decision and last year I went back to work and we enrolled him in a Christian school where he is thriving. Even though my husband and I decided it was best for me to go back to work and to enroll our son in school, we would never disparage a homemaker’s worth or value. I hope that our society will come to value the worth of a woman who works in the home as a homemaker as much as they value women who work outside the home.
Amy Holtkamp
August 7, 2013 at 3:30 pmThis is absolutely wonderful! Thank you so much for this encouraging post. I’m a SAHM for a little over a year and I feel the pressure that you speak of, this helps tremendously to know I’m not alone. Do all work well for you are working for the LORD!
Lainie
August 7, 2013 at 3:56 pmIn a selfishly driven, consumerist society we have told women not only can they have it all, but they should have it all. This does a disservice to all women. Whatever our choice, there are trade-offs, in which we must all seek our peace. We must all find our own healthy balance, and each path involves sacrifice. For me, my work is in the home, tending to the hearth, raising our children, and loving my husband. I believe for my family, no one can do it better than I can. So, it is worth me leaving the corporate world and monetary gains behind, and using my degrees for what I believe to be the most important ‘job’ I will ever have in my life.
Diane
November 16, 2013 at 7:19 amWonderful comment!
Anne
August 7, 2013 at 5:41 pmYou are amazing and blessed and you also seem to work incredibly hard. Anyone who feels that you aren’t contributing or devalues you has a problem! It is a shame that people feel like they have to question others way of life. Tragic really. Keep on keepin’ on, lady!
Sarah O'Neal Macri
August 7, 2013 at 8:53 pmShaye, this was one of your best posts yet. I work 40 hours in a “normal” job INSIDE the home, and so I have a fair mix of both. Truthfully, I loathe it many days. What I would give to be only homemaking! I have a post in mind on a very similar topic, and it could shake hands with this post. Keep up the good work! Keeping loving Jesus, loving your man, your babies and the peice of earth God has allowed you to work.
Ellie
August 7, 2013 at 11:13 pmReally enjoyed this post! I do agree with Jordan, however, that calling this a devaluing of “woman” is condescending towards those who choose not to be homemakers.
Your point is solid, and it is true that society too often takes an extreme view–either homemakers are “wasting their time and intelligence”, or working women are “bad mothers and selfish people”. I’m glad to hear you speaking up for the homemakers and stay at home mothers, though I will likely never be one myself. Each role has a place in society, and each family needs different parental figures to work.
Brad 'Cheezer' Luczywo
August 9, 2013 at 12:53 pmThis blessed me so much. Thank you for writing this! My wife passed away almost three years ago when my children were 1.5 and 3.5. We both desired and found a way to make it work that she could stay home. I’m forever grateful we were able to do that, especially since her time with my kids was cut so short. She would have so appreciated these words and often told me about the disparaging comments she received when she said she was a homemaker. I was so blessed to have a wife who was willing to take on what I consider the hardest job in the world. I’m so proud to have called her my wife. And, on top of that, I see every day how my kids are positively affected because she was able to spend all that time with them pouring out her life and her love into them. Even three years later. It is worthwhile beyond measure! Thank you for this post!
Meredith Nikides
August 11, 2013 at 12:48 pmYou should look into African feminism. I think you’ll find kindred spirits there. They are complaining about the hegemony of Western feminism, that demonstrates little understanding or appreciation for some women’s roles as homemakers.
Julie
August 12, 2013 at 5:42 amAmen!!! Excellent post to which I completely relate. LOVE your blog and your awesome cookbook. Thank you!
Carolyn
August 12, 2013 at 10:31 pmThank you. I can say nothing more than Thank You.
Jamie in KS
August 13, 2013 at 8:18 amI have not been on your blog for a while, but I read this right when I needed it! I was passed over for a full time position at my part time job yesterday and weas feeling really down. Eventually we do plan on me staying home, but finances are not there yet. Thank you for you post and reminding me what I truly am working toward and that it is a good thing to work toward!
Rachel
August 13, 2013 at 4:14 pmHave you ever read Walking on Water by Madeleine L’Engle? It is an awesome read, and has many descriptions of the homemaker and mother an an artist, which I believe I am as both a mother and a homemaker. A recent post of mine has a quote from the book…http://thebowmanchronicles.blogspot.com/2013/08/called-to-create.html. Your writing and pictures are an enjoyment, today I made your chicken and rice (with lentils) recipe for dinner. It is the second time I have done so…it’s a big hit here in our home. My response to this post is belated and I just read about the fires near your home; glad your family is safe!
Justine
August 13, 2013 at 4:55 pmI so wish I could be a homemaker but alas I have to work to help make ends meet we wouldnt be able to afford our mortgage or other bills without my part time income… someday though I hope to stay home with my little ones till then I try to be a part time homemaker 😉
Rebecca Newman
August 14, 2013 at 6:59 amwhooooo-boy! Can you tell it like it is! Well done, Missus!
Stephenie LaRue Daniel
August 14, 2013 at 12:11 pmThank you for saying this. I agree that full-time homemaking is not for every woman, however, I am also tired of our culture acting as if being at home and raising a family is not a “real job”. Being a wife and a mother is the hardest and most important job any woman will ever have. If our society would realize that, we would have far less troubled youth in the world today.
Tanya
September 10, 2013 at 12:20 amGirlfriend’s got our backs! LOL… Thank you, so many of us needed to hear this.
Lilia Kharabora
November 15, 2013 at 3:11 pmBeautiful, just beautiful. I applaud you and God continue to bless you and your family!
Chantel
November 15, 2013 at 3:41 pmI do agree that society looks down at stay-at-home moms (and also at large families). I don’t. I am jealous of them (which is also not the correct attitude). At this point in life, I have to work full-time. My husband esssentially lost his job and is trying to build up his own business now. I feel like my home, my husband and my kids are getting the short end of the stick because i don’t have enough time or energy to do a good job at everything. I don’t like being mediocre. i’m praying for the day when I can stay at home and we can have a garden and chickens and goats and homeschool the kids. i am so happy that you cherish the opportunity that you have.
Alexis
November 15, 2013 at 4:12 pmI am crying right now. This was perfect. Thank you.
Michelle
November 15, 2013 at 7:28 pmThank you! Don’t feel that you have to defend yourself. Taking care of your home and family, accepting that responsibility is a beautiful thing. Some of us are not satisfied with the status quo, gmo foods, pre packaged meals, and believing everything we are told! Thank you for speaking out!
Diane
November 16, 2013 at 7:11 amYoung voices like yours restore my hope for the future. Never buy into the culture’s standard. What wisdom from a young mother. You must be feeding on some real solid nourishing spiritual food.
Chai
November 16, 2013 at 6:26 pmI wish that I had a mother who was home for me, instead of coming home at 8:30-9:30pm and never even looking at me then, I wish I wasn’t starved, and I wish I wasn’t raised to think I would have no value if I didn’t do something other people found “respectful” and “successful”. I had every making to be bitter and disrespectful of others due to how I was raised, and I WAS very bitter for quite a while. Fortunately, things happened, and I changed and grew regardless, but I will never forget the sadness and jealousy of my upbringing, and the thoughts that so many things didn’t matter and could be ignored… I will never be like that again and I thank all of you for putting your hearts into what you do, you’re amazing.
Shaye Elliott
November 18, 2013 at 9:05 pmI’m glad that you overcame your sadness and anger, Chai. Many blessings to you!
Amy
November 19, 2013 at 10:26 pmI just found you and I love you. You’re blog is inspirational, and everything that I’m trying to get on this little farm of mine! Thank you for being real!
Donika
November 29, 2013 at 12:04 pmI have been a stay-at-home mother, and a working mother. I found most of my earned wages went towards convenience foods and products, and the services of others to do the things that I had done while home, but no longer had time for. I was hurt on the job last year, and have been home for the last 17 months. While we really could use the income, I have been available to my teen-aged boys in a way that I haven’t been for the past 6 years. I am able to cut corners and make items from scratch and we are actually eating healthier on 1/3 of the income we previously had. In a way, becoming unemployed was part of God’s master plan…my husband has has heart surgery and my older son suffered a head injury in football, and I would have never been allowed the time off to care for them the way that I have been able to do since I am home. My “work friends” still tell me that “it must be nice to be home all day and watch tv” but that is not what I do, at all. Even with a messed up back, I manage to creep around the house and keep it somewhat clean, cook healthy meals, save a bunch of money on healthy foods, care for my family and provide structure and morals for my children, make sure the laundry is done, and care for our livestock. My kids help. and are learning a valuable work ethic and self sufficiency. They also have learned that tasty food doesn’t always come from a box or a delivery guy; it can be made with whole, healthy, unprocessed ingredients. I am also showing them that the work that mothers do is valuable, regardless of where it is done, in a workplace or at home.
DoraBethe Bays
December 29, 2013 at 9:00 pmI loved reading this blog and find myself at home after many years of working outside the home. I have a 16 year old daughter at home now and she sees my struggles every day just to get out of bed with the severe fibromyalgia and colon/gastric issues. I am looking forward to 2014 so I can put the past year behind me. I had 3 gastric procedures this year and I am ready to get my life back and feel like a provider again. I enrolled in an online college to help dig myself out of deep depression from feeling worthless. Many people look down on me for not working outside the home and it does hurt. I stayed at home as homemaker and cared for my 2 oldest children until they were old enough to go to school and was proud of myself for being there for them in the early years and sometimes was the momma and poppa to them while we were stationed overseas. There are many moves and travels living the military life and it takes lots of adjustments. I am grateful that the Lord was with us through it all and He is watching over me now as I am getting better each and every day. Working from home may be something I will be able to do and feel I am still providing. I am divorced now and I am the sole income provider besides childsupport which will end when my child turns 18. I am doing what I kind to stay afloat but it has been a struggle with me bobbing up and down for help a few times. I am thankful for so many faithful friends and family members who have come along beside me and brought encouragement. I am a photographer and not being well enough to do it fulltime has really hindered. I am not downplaying the past 2 year that I have been a stay at home mom. It has been refreshing even through the trials and bumps in the road with my health. Having a small raised garden has helped and encouraged me. Knowing that I am able to go and pick up my child at school when she needs me is a rewarding thing that I would not have been able to do if I was working fulltime. I thank God for that. On the down side, my housework or housekeeping has suffered due to my illness but we still have a closer relationship than when I was not able to be at home with her until late at night and she was already in bed after staying home alone since school let out. I commend homemakers and encourage the mom’s who work outside the home and miss time with their children. Make the most of your weekend time with them or whatever time you get, make it quality time. I wish I had a cow like Sal…..I would be making butter in my blender and enjoying it!
Maria @Ten at the Table
July 19, 2014 at 7:57 pmYES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!! Amen sister!!!!!!!
Sarah
December 12, 2016 at 12:48 pmTHANK YOU for this! I am a homeschooling, homesteading mom of four (hopefully soon to be more when we adopt). We were blessed to buy a fixer upper home on acreage with a barn. IT has been sweat and tears and we have only begun our homesteading journey. Unfortunately, I was raised with a father who pushed that I needed to be
“more than just a mom”. I was always a straight A student and he use to always comment how I was going to be the doctor or lawyer. When he abandoned my family and I when I was a teenager, I was determined to never marry and to become that lawyer. I got my undergrad while having 2 children and chose, with the support of an excellent husband, that I didn’t want anyone else to raise them. It was my dream and passion to become a lawyer, but I knew it was my vocation and new dream to stay at home with my babies. I can always go to work, but I can not get back those years with my babies. There are days, where I KNOW, that it would be easier to work. I am exhausted and, a lot of times, feel helpless or that it’s never enough. The world has so many false stereotypes for us and act like we are under a man’s boot and FORCED to do this or are lazy! We sacrifice so much to do this. I do not buy new clothes, makeup, or get my hair or nails done. I have old used van that does not work or run, more often than it does. Vacations and even date nights are rare. Even close friends act concerned. I don’t feel like I judge others for choosing to send their kids to school, or work, or daycare, but, boy do we get it when we say we homeschool. SO thank you for truth and encouragement! Our work is important and is hard, and takes so much commitment, self-sacrifice, and patience to do. Thank you for your encouragement.