Alright. I know you want to throw tomatoes at me. Here I had you all worked up for Sally's calf to come, you were there with me on Facebook (virtually) at the edge of your seat, only to check back and find no calf came.
No status update with a zillion of these (!!!!!!!!!). No photographs of a cow's backside. No video with squishy mucous noises.
How disappointing.
Even though we had been on calf watch for days (her due date was June 6th), we inevitably found ourselves staring at the backend of a cow that wasn't doing more than nibbling weeds and occasionally laying down to rest.
Come on Sal! Give me something! Give me anything!
Nothing, y'all. A big fat NOTHING.
I'd been going back and forth with my Calving Mentors, sending them photographs of udders, vulvas, and mucous drips for days. Were her ligaments gone? Uhh… maybe? Did her udder look full? Umm… sure, ya! How about her vulva? Does it look swollen? The girl is 1000 pounds, it always looks swollen… it's huge!
I sat in Sally's stall, leaning up against the old barn wood, casually sipped on a beer, and watched her lay down and chew her cud slowly. Secretly, I was wishing a water bag would just come popping out of her back end. But it didn't. So instead, I fell asleep next to her in the heat of the day and in my dreams, contemplated this decision I'd made to become a dairy cow owner.
That night, as I got up at 3:00 a.m. and trudged down to the barn with my lantern in hand to check her for the umpteenth time, I decided to call the vet. Her past two calves have come right on her due date. Why not now? Why, God, WHY?!?!
Dramatic? Sorry. It felt dramatic at 3:00 a.m.
So I called a vet. Not at 3:00am. I have a teeny, tiny bit of self respect left.
Dear Dr. Vet, I'm a first time dairy-cow-owner-calver who's obviously too inexperienced and nosey for her own good. Would you please swing by and stick your hand up my cow's rear end to make me feel better? Please and thank you.
But before I tell you what the vet discovered, I want to share with you my experience about watching for a cow in labor. Because as I sat there staring at Sally for, like, a million days, I spent a lot of time on my phone looking up the exact things I should be looking for. And so, I present to you, the list of arbitrary, semi-consistent, totally differing, unique circumstances surrounding a cow's calving:
How To Tell When A Cow Will Calve
1. Swollen vulva. And maybe mucous.
Sure. Maybe her vulva gets swollen. But maybe it doesn't. Some cow's have larger vulvas than others and some cow's vulvas remain a consistent size, while others really stretch with the pregnancy. Also – one must really know what her average vulva looks like in order to compare it with a swollen vulva. Do you know what your cow's vulva looks like? Ya. Didn't think so. By the way, it's the size of a small dinner place. So stick that one in your back pocket.
Oh. And some cows get nice and prepped for calving with mucous. Others never do. Just a helpful tip for ya there.
2. Loose ligaments.
Sounds good in theory, no doubt, as loose ligaments will often indicate that a calf shall arrive in 12-24 hours (it's the cow's way of loosening her pelvis for the passing of the calf through the birth canal). Theoretically, the pin bones (that is, the back part of the hip bone) “drop”, becoming loose like a rubber band.
Any idea what I'm talking about?
My thoughts exactly. I love my cow, but I'm new to this whole dairy-cow-calving thing. So even with pictures as a reference, this pin-bone crap made no sense to me. Ashley was so patient with me, messaging me back and forth as I tried to figure out what in the blazes she was talking about. Pin what? Ligament who?
I'm a visual learner, what can I say. I just needed someone to come and point them out to me. Oh, and by the way, this is supposed to be the most telling sign with regard to the onset of calving.
Let's just pretend like I didn't tell Ashley at least 6 times that her pins had ‘for sure' dropped and get on with our lives.
3. Constipation. Or diarrhea.
Well which is it people? Your killing me! “My cow didn't poop for an entire day before she had her calf!”… “My cow had severe diarrhea… a sure sign of calving!”… “You'll know your cow is going to calve when her poo becomes like frozen biscuits instead of frozen pies!”.
Whatever. I spent an entire day with my nose in cow pies trying to read into the texture, viscosity, and contents. I'm over this theory.
4. Loss of appetite.
As I waited anxiously for Sally to calve, every time I saw her out in the pasture grazing, I got angry. Sally! You're not supposed to be eating! Quit snacking! Good Lord, you've got a calf to deliver woman! Get to it!
One can expect their laboring dairy cow to remove herself from the herd and cease all consumption of foliage. Unless of course your like my friend Quinn, who's cow was still grazing with a calf half hanging out of her backside.
So she may eat or she may not. She may drink or she may not. How's that for calving theory.
5. An udder full of colostrum.
…unless she's a heifer, because then, her milk might not come in until later. And unless she doesn't bag up until a couple hours before she's about to calve, because some cows are like that. Also, she can start bagging up as early as 8 weeks before actually calving. So basically, sometime before she calves and after she calves, her udder will bag up. Ya. A really big helper this one is.
Sally's udder has been full for over two weeks now. If anyone is curious.
Let's sum up what we've learned, shall we?
– The cow may or may not have a swollen vulva and mucous before calving.
– The cow's pin ligaments will drop. And if you know what the hell a pin ligament is, that'll be really helpful.
– The cow may poop. Or not poop.
– The cow will stop eating. Unless she doesn't.
– And lastly, the cow's udder will at some point in the process of this pregnancy and/or calving fill up.
Now that we've established what it is we are, or aren't, looking for, let's flash back to the vet's visit. Lucky for me, the vet was kind and obliged to swing by the farm (for a few zillion dollars) to give me some peace of mind. He took pity on me, I think. But that's okay. I'm not above pity.
When he came, he rubbed Sally's back and called her sweetie. I already loved the man.
He squeezed milk out of her full teats and checked the viscosity of the milk. Not quite thick enough to be colostrum yet… she needed more time to build that up.
He palpated her rectally to feel the calf who, to my great relief was a) in there and b) alive and active. But the ol' calf was waaaaay down in her belly still. The vet explained that 3, 4, or 5ish days before calving, the calf will become locked and loaded in the birth canal. Our little baby was not quite in the right position for calving quite yet.
Guessing when a calf will come is just that. A guess. Best as the vet could tell, Sally was still a couple of weeks out. Or she could go tomorrow.
But don't fret. I have a theory: When Hiro arrived on our farm August 28th, he immediately mounted Sally who had been tied up, lest she continue to run away from him and not let him mount. After that initial breeding, we saw no further activity between the two for his remaining six weeks here. Great! No heat = pregnant.
…unless of course the two of them secretly ‘made love' while we were fast asleep or away in town getting iced breves. Which seems to have been what happened. If Sally didn't catch on her first cycle with Hiro (the August 28th cycle) then that means she caught on her second cycle with Hiro (somewhere 2 1/2 – 3 weeks later). Which means if she was due on June 6th from the August 28th breeding, she is now due somewhere between the 20th and the 27th. Ish. Sorta. Kinda. Hopefully.
Aww. Who am I kidding. There's a confirmed baby in there who will come out eventually, at some point.
ALL THAT TO SAY, I now know where the pin ligament is. And that cows sometimes like to breed in privacy. And that knowing how to tell when a cow will calve is part science, part magic, and part faith.
You never quit learning my friends.
And Amen.
Well, THAT was informative…..or not. I’ll get back with you. 😉
This is exactly how I felt two months ago as I was waiting to go into labor, almost two weeks “overdue”. Finally you learn to just let go of it and let it happen when it will. It was especially hard because with my first I went into labor right on my due date, just like your Sal lol. Just to make you feel better I did eventually have our daughter, and Sal will have her baby too 🙂
LOVED this article! Ive been waiting on a calf for 14 days now. Its exhausting !
I absolutely loved this article!! 😂
We have been raising beef cattle for Almost 30 years. This account is exactly how it is when you’re waiting on a new calf. It will come, when it is ready.
Thanks for presenting the humor in it. 😆
Yes but when you lose 2 calves with in a week of each other you want to be there to see if they need help or anything! I am now very paranoid from that last year!
I actually have been on calf watch, waiting to see your new little addition… this was informative-ish… I guess you basically wait until labour begins because just like us, cows birth in their own time and way
Oh friend, I am so not a patient person when it comes to calving! I wish I had been there to give you a definitive answer on those damn ligaments. I can’t wait to see what ol’ Sal has- you’ve waited a long time for this miracle on your farm. Love ya!
If homesteading has taught me anything it is that I truly know nothing. My sweet husband texted me a graphic picture of the aftermath of an encounter between our sweet Mona and our neighbors bull. Boom, due date set! Fast forward to said due date. Nothing. I stopped my entire life. Refused to leave the farm. I wasn’t going to miss it. One heat cycle, two heat cycles…what was going on? Is there a baby in there? She was doing all the things on the ready to calf list. I finally gave up. We went on vacation for a three day weekend. I was SURE that would make her calve. Still nothing. Finally, two and a half months or five heat cycles after exposure she really bagged up. Like crazy huge. I’d seen her udder pretty full (sometimes I miss a milking). This was beyond anything Id seen before. And the endless string of mucus….Finally the next morning I went to the garden and there was a sweet heifer calf laying on the ground. After all that, I missed it!!! Oh well. I want my animals to birth naturally without any intervention. That’s what I got. Thank goodness we ended up leaving the bull at our house for almost six months.
Oh my gosh Raelyn – I am right there with you in the Best Laid Plans category! My dog Jack and I slept in the barn for two weeks so we wouldn’t miss the birth of our first calf. My June had all the signs – mucus, swollen udder, loose pin bones (my fist could fit in the new space). I made a big bucket of nettle & raspberry leaf tea which she ignored for 4 days. One morning she woke up and drank it down and I thought – maybe she will go soon – but since I didn’t notice any other changes (and I had a dentist appointment) I headed off to town. I came home mid day in a panic because it suddenly hit me that I had left a second batch of tea steeping on the stove all morning. After making sure I hadn’t burnt the house down (there was maybe 1/2 inch of water left in the big stock pot), I went out to the barn yard to check on the cow and found a newly born heifer calf. My guess is that calf was being born while I was inside thanking God for sparing my house. Who would have thought He would have included a “Your cow is calving” notification along with the “Excuse me but YOU LEFT THE STOVE ON!!!” warning.
It is getting close to my cows due date, and today she puked so I was wondering if that is a sign of her getting ready to calve.
Just wondering how old is your cow? How many calves has she had that you are aware of? I will keep watching with you. Is she a mix breed-Brown Swiss and ? Thank you.
I feel your pain. Let me help you to feel better. The man we got out Jersey from, and renting a bull from, has over 600 head!!! Can you say millionaire? Anyway, it’s a family business that sells to big dairies. Of course he was raised around all these cows, and he’s about 40. He told me they can’t keep all their dates straight, and last week they had 2 heifers that they moved into the birthing pasture less than 24 hours before they calved. They normally like to have the girls in that pasture a few weeks prior to calving. So even folks with years of experience, and multiple employees can’t always tell…..and to top it off…he’s a vet!
Our family is on vacation, and one of our ‘neighbors’ has five cows- three or four of which are pregnant and due any day. Seeing as we’re here for another week, and we live in a no-livestock neighborhood, I’m over there fairly often. No one else in my family is in to homesteading, so I’m over here obsessing over pin joints and swollen udders, and they are just confused. 🙂
You completely just nailed everything I have been thinking! I am new to raising cattle and I have two heifers that are due (the first one in two weeks and the second one two weeks after that). All the research stating that a heifer will do this and a heifer will do that…. I have been comparing the pin ligaments (or what I THINK are the pin ligaments!) trying to figure out if they are spongy or not, comparing udders, wondering why the heifer due in four weeks is having mucos while the one due in two weeks has had absolutely NONE. Why the heifer due in four weeks is swishing her tail so much, but the one due in two weeks – NADA! But, with the one due in two weeks, everything else looks so ready to go (vulva, udder, pin ligaments(?)….
So, thank you for writing this! Even though it wasn’t too informative – or was it(?) – at least I know I’m not the only one that has been so confused!
Ok, just stumbled on your post while googling pin bone pregnancy check – thanks for the laughs!
(We have two pregnant heifers due any day. We think. )
This is perfect! I have barely slept for a week waiting for my Jersey to calve. Last night I was convinced it was the big night. Tail swishing, looking at her back end, getting up and down, lots of mucus, very full udder, swollen vulva, (and those darn pin bones, not sure I’ve ever found them). I sat in the barn for hours waiting and freezing. I finally decided that she wanted to be alone and she would really get going once I left the barn. So I came inside, set my alarm and napped for an hour. Went back out to find her just how I left her. So I spent the next several hours napping and checking until morning. Now it’s 3 pm and still no calf. I stayed home from work so I wouldn’t miss the big day.
Glad I’m not alone, but sure wish it would happen soon!
I love this! It is exactly what we are going through here! I LMAO I say most of these things daily, looking at pictures daily and tried to remember how I felt during my own child’s birth. Did I eat or not, did I kick at my side or not, was there mucus, did my breasts feel full etc. Than you for the reassurance that I’m not crazy!
Omg this was great. I am crying laughing. Thanks.
I have calved 1000s it is still like this.
THANK YOU!J!!!! Been having sleepless nights waiting. Her last calf was quite late, then born dead, so a little paranoid. Breath and wait …. breath and wait.
Lol! Crazy as I may sound, but this reassured me! Our cow is due in a few months, so I have time still. She’s experienced, but we are not. I will keep watch, and try to be ready, but ready also to wait n wait! She’s had 5 calves before we took ownership, so she’s an ol’ pro. I’ll just let her do it, but be ready and aware (if I can!) to help if needed. Thanks for sharing your experience.
We just read this last night! This is only our 2nd experience and we’ve been going through the same wondering thoughts. Our Daisy had her calf about 7hrs after reading this. Same scenario as her first. We woke up hearing her mooing really loud extremely early in the morning. Greg got up and went out and she had just delivered. She’s very proud and being a good momma.
Oh my goodness this is me right now. I’m reading this while sitting in my girls pin and thinking EVERYTHING you just said 😂
Oh, I laughed! Love your approach. I am house sitting. Birthed a foal. No idea about cows. Had one calf drop overnight. Waiting on the next. All makes good novel research!! Must share this in Facebook.
I loved this post! We are first time cow owners and all our girls were purchased bred. Two have already dropped their calves but we have a young heifer that I’m worrying over. She has been acting off for a few days. I’ve been googling and looking at pictures for any signs I might be missing. This post though sums that all up! Ha!
Shay, So glad to be reading a post from 2015!! May 29,2020 our cow Clarabelle is approaching calving her second calf and I’m stalking her like a crazy lady. 🤦🏼♀️ Your post was encouraging to the signs or not of calving.
Have you ever had a cow bag up to the point of bursting with no calf and next day bag way down still no calf.
I am so glad to hear from an honest person. I have been told so many things by someone who thinks they know everything, while I am wondering what I’m looking at and wonder how long before my cow has her calf. She has not bagged up and I started thinking the vet was wrong, she wasn’t even bred. So thank you for sharing so much!!! I feel better now, knowing that everything is not just black and white. Things may or may not happen the way people say.
Most of the Jerseys in my 100-cow herd calve without me or anyone seeing them. It is probably not a good use of time to sit and wait for a Jersey to calve.
Check them a couple times a day when they are close to calving, and look for changes in the signs of impending calving. Don’t worry–chances are that the cow will calve just fine when you are not around.
If the cow is having problems, you will see a change in her behavior, like holding up her tail, or pushing with no sign of a calf emerging, or head emerging before the front feet, or only one leg emerging. If a cow is lying around looking contented, she is probably not ready to calve–regardless of what the calendar says.
This is great, and hilarious, and so realistic! Lol. Thanks for the informative laugh that I can highly relate to! Personally, I’m still not even sure if mine is pregnant or not or if it’s due 2 months ago or 2 months more.
This blog post was amazing. I have a jersey heifer doing some weird things and this was really helpful for me to know that the list of “signs” don’t always apply. Loved the humor. You should go back and edit it with a picture of the calf after it finally arrived. 🙂